Anonymous wrote:Let me back up, this person makes my skin crawl and I don't want to receive anything from them.

Remember when you parents said doing something was good for your character? This is your chance to do that. Donate what is sent and continue to donate. This is not hard.

Some people like that don't listen even if you tell them to stop. It's a sickness. You may need to break all ties.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL and I aren’t close at all. Yet, she sends me ‘gifts’ every Christmas. She knows am allergic to certain nuts and have lots of food intolerance. However, she makes sure to send me nuts…I’m tired of it but she’s overly sensitive and her being the doctor in the family (also knows it all type of individual) she can’t take rejection of any form. I opted to toss everything she sends but send her a thank you note for the gift.
It’s been 10 years, she keeps sending the damn nuts.

Why don’t you regift nuts or give to charity. Why would you throw out food when poor people are starving?

You bleeding heart types are insufferable. Why don’t you go to everyone’s house and pick up the crap they don’t want? Then you can be solely responsible for saving the world!

Just to a curb alert on your neighborhood listserv or post on buy nothing. People regift stuff like that all the time!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a family friend who does this. She keeps sending me fridge magnets from her travels, despite me telling her that I don't collect them and don't like to clutter up the fridge with them. I think pp is right that this is her love language, but it feels stifling sometimes. I have been clear with her about not wanting them, but she insists on doing it, disregarding my preference. At this point I think it's more about her than about me.

It feels stifling to get unwanted fridge magnets in the mail?

It feels stifling to have your preferences blatantly disregarded, over and over. It doesn't matter what the gift is.

Those of you who are blessed not to have this “nonissue” should thank your stars. The nonregard for your feelings and preferences over and over again are stifling. If you haven’t experienced the feeling of this consider yourself lucky. It’s like when you are in your dating days and a man you don’t like keeps contacting you, over and over again hoping for a chance but you don’t like them back. At a certain point it feel stifling and borderline scary that they keep wasting their time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a person in my life related by marriage who keeps sending me stuff in the mail. I don't want to be close with this person and I don't want her to send me stuff.

Does anyone else have this problem and how have you handled it. The person is related through my DH's family.

Yes, but with a neighbor. I do not respond in any manner--not even an acknowledgement that the gift was received--yet they still keep coming each holiday. I do not know how to handle this beyond complete silence as no relationship is wanted.

WOW... you are a peach.

I will also share that this neighbor had his own dog's vocal chords cut. (Yes, this practice is legal in some states.) I do not know why, but the dog is a sweet gentle female mixed breed. He wants to give our dogs treats--a practice that we do not allow as our dogs have different dietary needs & we want to be aware of everything that they ingest.

My best guess is that this person uses gifts as a way to start a relationship that he can control. he is manipulative. Obviously, he does not respect women, is cruel even to his own dog, and does not like children.

I cannot tolerate cruelty to animals--even if legal--and do not tolerate anyone who is abusive to women & children. So, no, I don't want his gifts--ridiculous plants that he leaves at our gate and do not want any contact with him so I just discard the gifts without acknowledgement. This is a very smart man who knows how to manipulate others so no contact whatsoever is the safest approach in my view.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a person in my life related by marriage who keeps sending me stuff in the mail. I don't want to be close with this person and I don't want her to send me stuff.

Does anyone else have this problem and how have you handled it. The person is related through my DH's family.

Yes, but with a neighbor. I do not respond in any manner--not even an acknowledgement that the gift was received--yet they still keep coming each holiday. I do not know how to handle this beyond complete silence as no relationship is wanted.

WOW... you are a peach.

After a bit of thought, and judging you by your comment, I think that you may be what he is seeking.

Why don't you want to be close and what are they sending you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a person in my life related by marriage who keeps sending me stuff in the mail. I don't want to be close with this person and I don't want her to send me stuff.

Does anyone else have this problem and how have you handled it. The person is related through my DH's family.

Yes, but with a neighbor. I do not respond in any manner--not even an acknowledgement that the gift was received--yet they still keep coming each holiday. I do not know how to handle this beyond complete silence as no relationship is wanted.

WOW... you are a peach.

I will share that this neighbor is verbally abusive to his partner/wife in front of others in a loud manner. While she seems fine with it, we and our other neighbors are not. He always has to be the center of attention and shows absolutely no sympathy or empathy for others. And the situation is much worse than I am sharing.

Oh boy.
FIL sent back gift because he didn’t like it
Friend never thank you/aknodleged gifts
I miss the time in which even if they gave you a ‘non perfect gift’ you would politely thank you, appreciate the gesture(if not the gift) and just move on with your life

Anonymous wrote:People are total jerks these days jesus.

Agree. Best to avoid them as they will just cause problems.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a person in my life related by marriage who keeps sending me stuff in the mail. I don't want to be close with this person and I don't want her to send me stuff.

Does anyone else have this problem and how have you handled it. The person is related through my DH's family.

Yes, but with a neighbor. I do not respond in any manner--not even an acknowledgement that the gift was received--yet they still keep coming each holiday. I do not know how to handle this beyond complete silence as no relationship is wanted.

WOW... you are a peach.

WOW...you are rude.

You do not know the circumstances. Sometimes--actually, usually--folks have good reason for avoiding others. Without going into detail, these neighbors caused serious issues with their prior neighbors and the same issues have reappeared since they relocated. We are not the only ones avoiding them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL and I aren’t close at all. Yet, she sends me ‘gifts’ every Christmas. She knows am allergic to certain nuts and have lots of food intolerance. However, she makes sure to send me nuts…I’m tired of it but she’s overly sensitive and her being the doctor in the family (also knows it all type of individual) she can’t take rejection of any form. I opted to toss everything she sends but send her a thank you note for the gift.
It’s been 10 years, she keeps sending the damn nuts.

Why don’t you regift nuts or give to charity. Why would you throw out food when poor people are starving?

You bleeding heart types are insufferable. Why don’t you go to everyone’s house and pick up the crap they don’t want? Then you can be solely responsible for saving the world!

Anonymous wrote:My SIL and I aren’t close at all. Yet, she sends me ‘gifts’ every Christmas. She knows am allergic to certain nuts and have lots of food intolerance. However, she makes sure to send me nuts…I’m tired of it but she’s overly sensitive and her being the doctor in the family (also knows it all type of individual) she can’t take rejection of any form. I opted to toss everything she sends but send her a thank you note for the gift.
It’s been 10 years, she keeps sending the damn nuts.

Why don’t you regift nuts or give to charity. Why would you throw out food when poor people are starving?

Put on your big girl pants and write them an email that you appreciate the thought behind the gifts but you are trying to declutter at this point in your life so request, respectfully that they take you off their shopping list.

If that does not work, then write on the unopened gifts: RETURN TO SENDER, and do not accept the delivery.

Write Return to Sender on package cross out your address and send back