Wut? No I would not leave my sick child behind!

I have three kids and can’t imagine leaving one behind in this circumstance - the youngest who’s only 18 months and not feeling well? No. We’d either all go or none would go.

We would all go. I might bring extra blankets or even buy a radiator-style heater to make the house more comfortable. For our family, time together is a priority, and my parents (and my ILs too) would be understanding of the need for more heat for the baby.

Anonymous wrote:I would have the parent whose relations you're planning to visit take the older two, and other parent stay home or visit the other family with the baby. Sounds like the best way for everyone to have a reasonably peaceful Christmas.

I'd probably do this too but oof, tough crowd today.

Anonymous wrote:Are there circumstances other than your convenience which impact this decision? Like do you have an immunocompromised parent your toddler might put at risk?

Otherwise I would not do this. And not for the toddler— you’re right they won’t remember it— but the message you’re sending the other two kids is, if your needs are inconvenient, you’re getting left behind. On the other hand I would also take whatever steps to mitigate the challenges such as rescheduling, staying someplace the baby will sleep better, or shortening the trip.

lol. It's weird the way Americans coddle their children in some ways but not in others bc your society is full of very selfish people who believe in "rugged indivualism" and pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and people who don't even know their neighbors.

I would have the parent whose relations you're planning to visit take the older two, and other parent stay home or visit the other family with the baby. Sounds like the best way for everyone to have a reasonably peaceful Christmas.

Are there circumstances other than your convenience which impact this decision? Like do you have an immunocompromised parent your toddler might put at risk?

Otherwise I would not do this. And not for the toddler— you’re right they won’t remember it— but the message you’re sending the other two kids is, if your needs are inconvenient, you’re getting left behind. On the other hand I would also take whatever steps to mitigate the challenges such as rescheduling, staying someplace the baby will sleep better, or shortening the trip.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You would consider leaving your 18 month old for a WEEK? It’s a child, not a dog, to be taken or left behind at will.

Thank you PP for your harsh comment - I know my child is not a dog, believe me, we have dogs too The issue we are facing is that we could leave the little one in a very comfy nice house where he will be taken care of perfectly well. I really don't want to break up the family for the 5 days but the little one won't have a memory of the trip and the older ones could have a much nicer time if I as a mom am more available for them, not constantly watching over the little one. Maybe I am overthinking it and should just bring everyone.

I was the whole world to my children when they were that young. Not my husband, or anyone else. So I respected that and was always there when they were ill and needier than usual.

If your relationship with your child is such that he won't miss you, then sure. But that would be highly unusual. On the other hand, given your attitude about this, perhaps it's for the best, and he'll have more loving caregivers than you.

^ massively unhelpful.

There is a WORLD of gray between the type of moms who never leave their kid's side for the first 3 years and "they won't miss you."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You would consider leaving your 18 month old for a WEEK? It’s a child, not a dog, to be taken or left behind at will.

Thank you PP for your harsh comment - I know my child is not a dog, believe me, we have dogs too The issue we are facing is that we could leave the little one in a very comfy nice house where he will be taken care of perfectly well. I really don't want to break up the family for the 5 days but the little one won't have a memory of the trip and the older ones could have a much nicer time if I as a mom am more available for them, not constantly watching over the little one. Maybe I am overthinking it and should just bring everyone.

I was the whole world to my children when they were that young. Not my husband, or anyone else. So I respected that and was always there when they were ill and needier than usual.

If your relationship with your child is such that he won't miss you, then sure. But that would be highly unusual. On the other hand, given your attitude about this, perhaps it's for the best, and he'll have more loving caregivers than you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You would consider leaving your 18 month old for a WEEK? It’s a child, not a dog, to be taken or left behind at will.

Thank you PP for your harsh comment - I know my child is not a dog, believe me, we have dogs too The issue we are facing is that we could leave the little one in a very comfy nice house where he will be taken care of perfectly well. I really don't want to break up the family for the 5 days but the little one won't have a memory of the trip and the older ones could have a much nicer time if I as a mom am more available for them, not constantly watching over the little one. Maybe I am overthinking it and should just bring everyone.

We have these threads at least twice a month. Are they staying with your parents or family? If so, I'd be ok with it.

Depends on how used to being cared for by these other people the 18 month year old is. His grandmother who watches him 3 days a week? Sure. Family he sees once in a while for brief visits? No.

I would either send the two older ones with the parent whose family it is up north to see them for a shorter trip, say 3 days, and have the parent whose family is local stay with the young child… or make better plans for the comfort of the child up north, including renting an Airbnb with better heat and toys so he could have a place to get better.

Flying with a cold can lead to an ear infection so just watch that.

Anonymous wrote:You would consider leaving your 18 month old for a WEEK? It’s a child, not a dog, to be taken or left behind at will.

Oh stop.

All depends on the circumstances, OP. My child could sleep okay at that age with a mild to moderate cold, and for a grandparent trip I would have powered through bc one of her grandparents will not be with us much longer. BUT other kids sleep like crap while sick and you have three to deal with, so I think either option is acceptable.

For the babyproofing, my in-laws' house is the same so we bought them a cheap baby gate that they only brought out when we visited. And I made sure to keep the door closed of whatever room we're in. The "trying to kill themselves" danger phase DOES end, I promise. We don't have to worry about it anymore.

Anonymous wrote:Assume you have 3 kids, 9, 5, and 1.5 and are facing a week long trip up north to visit grandparents. You have the chance to leave the little one with family. Would you do it or would you bring him along? Some additional facts to consider - the house we'll be staying is NOT kid friendly, it will be COLD, and the little one DOESNT sleep well and currently has a cold, runny nose, is teething, etc. What would you do?

Yes, if you can leave the little one with trusted family, go ahead. All over the world, parents leave little ones with family for periods of time longer than a week.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You would consider leaving your 18 month old for a WEEK? It’s a child, not a dog, to be taken or left behind at will.

Thank you PP for your harsh comment - I know my child is not a dog, believe me, we have dogs too The issue we are facing is that we could leave the little one in a very comfy nice house where he will be taken care of perfectly well. I really don't want to break up the family for the 5 days but the little one won't have a memory of the trip and the older ones could have a much nicer time if I as a mom am more available for them, not constantly watching over the little one. Maybe I am overthinking it and should just bring everyone.

Did you want this last child?

Omg you are too much. I’ll take the contrary opinion. If toddler can stay with your mom (you said family) while you go up with the older two I would do it. I don’t understand the Pearl clutching.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You would consider leaving your 18 month old for a WEEK? It’s a child, not a dog, to be taken or left behind at will.

Thank you PP for your harsh comment - I know my child is not a dog, believe me, we have dogs too The issue we are facing is that we could leave the little one in a very comfy nice house where he will be taken care of perfectly well. I really don't want to break up the family for the 5 days but the little one won't have a memory of the trip and the older ones could have a much nicer time if I as a mom am more available for them, not constantly watching over the little one. Maybe I am overthinking it and should just bring everyone.

Did you want this last child?