Anonymous wrote:Try to find a mother’s helper before the birth and get your oldest child familiar with that person. A second pair of hands while you get adjusted to two kids is so helpful. It could be a teenager or even younger. Just someone your first child will be happy to see and happy to play with while you supervise.

This is great advice. If your pregnancy turns into a high risk situation those appointments can take hours. Having a teen come over and take the toddler to the park once in a while when baby is new can be a huge relief.

Anonymous wrote:Mine are 29 mo apart.

+1 on carriers. The Baby Bjorn mini is so easy to put on and take off, if I had to choose one then that would be it.

For outdoors, solly wrap so you can cover baby’s body parts from sun.

Then, the only other thing we got was a white noise machine (hatch nightlight).

I love this age gap - it is pretty tiring until the older one is 3' but when they start to play together it’s just so fun!!

+10000 on the white noise machine. One for each.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to scare you, but I had this age gap (26 months) and it was rough. My toddler didn't have much of an opinion on the baby, seemed neutral to positive about him. But looking back it was clear the adjustment was HARD. I expected her to hate the baby or something obvious, but it wasn't like that.

Just try to remember that your 2 year old is still very very small. And is not capable of understanding or expression the tough emotions that come with adding a new sibling. I felt like my sweet toddler went off the rails into crazy toddler defiance about everything. Maybe she would have anyhow, I don't know.

So my advice would be, read No Bad Kids NOW. I wish I'd read it before my toddler lost her mind so that I could have helped her a bit more.

In the long run, this time feels short now bc mine are 6 and 8 and it's terrific. But oof those years of 2 little kids was hard.

OP here. Thanks for all your suggestions and for this PP's reality check. I'll check out No Bad Kids but if there are other books worth reading for managing the transition (or children's books to introduce the idea of a sibling) that would be great.

Babies don't eat pizza

Double stroller
Somewhere you can put the baby down where the toddler won't run over them
Goodies to spoil the toddler when the baby comes. Our baby somehow brought a toy garbage truck home from the hospital for the older sibling.
Activities mom can do with the older sibling with baby in the lap (e.g. sticker book)

Even if your first was vaginal birth, contingency plan for a C section. It happens.

Mine are 29 mo apart.

+1 on carriers. The Baby Bjorn mini is so easy to put on and take off, if I had to choose one then that would be it.

For outdoors, solly wrap so you can cover baby’s body parts from sun.

Then, the only other thing we got was a white noise machine (hatch nightlight).

I love this age gap - it is pretty tiring until the older one is 3' but when they start to play together it’s just so fun!!

Anonymous wrote:Definitely a carrier if you don't have one. My first wanted nothing to do with it but thankfully my second loved it. We never needed a double stroller--DS1 used the stroller and DS2 was in the carrier. I think we rented a double stroller once or twice at the zoo but that's really it.

We also had a swing for our second, which was useful. We never had one for our oldest but there was always someone to hold/rock him so it didn't matter.

This is the problem. You don't know what the baby will like yet.

Try to find a mother’s helper before the birth and get your oldest child familiar with that person. A second pair of hands while you get adjusted to two kids is so helpful. It could be a teenager or even younger. Just someone your first child will be happy to see and happy to play with while you supervise.

Thule Urban Glide 2 double stroller. It is sooo easy to push.

OP here. Thanks all! I'll be scouting marketplace for an Uppababy vista and look into some good carriers. Thanks so much!

My first two are 23 months apart. A good carrier (we had a Boba soft-structured one) and a good double stroller (BOB Revolution FTW) were key for us. But, if you’re having a warm weather baby, you may not use the carrier as much - I didn’t with my third, born in May.

As for managing the transition, just don’t understate it for your older kid. It IS a big deal - don’t minimize that. Anticipate any changes to their routines and how you can handle those as best you can.

Uppababy Vista

Wrap carrier

Activities for toddler while baby is being nursed

Mini pack n play to put baby in while helping toddler

Mine are 28 mo.

Uppababy vista. It is my “car”. That said, the older one is 3y 2mo now and the rumble seat is starting to get a little tight. He isn’t complaining but he’s also pretty short for his age. We got ours, including the rumble seat for about $325 on marketplace. I am so so happy with this purchase, total lifesaver.

Also, ergobaby Omni 360 or whatever it’s called, saved my life. The baby took all her naps in this thing until she was about 3 mo. At that point she was way too heavy but it was great while it lasted, it allowed me to get out and about with the toddler. I still use it daily for so much stuff. I like this model because it has really good back support and you can basically use it from birth without an insert.

Good luck. My youngest is 10 mo now, and a year ago at this point I was filled with total dread. Honestly it hasn’t been as bad as I was expecting, and I’ve managed to enjoy a lot of it, too.

Anonymous wrote:Same age gap, loved the City Mini double.

Other than that, nothing.

+1 Also useful was a sling or other type of carrier for the baby. My baby is now 14 so I’m sure there are many more options out there now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to scare you, but I had this age gap (26 months) and it was rough. My toddler didn't have much of an opinion on the baby, seemed neutral to positive about him. But looking back it was clear the adjustment was HARD. I expected her to hate the baby or something obvious, but it wasn't like that.

Just try to remember that your 2 year old is still very very small. And is not capable of understanding or expression the tough emotions that come with adding a new sibling. I felt like my sweet toddler went off the rails into crazy toddler defiance about everything. Maybe she would have anyhow, I don't know.

So my advice would be, read No Bad Kids NOW. I wish I'd read it before my toddler lost her mind so that I could have helped her a bit more.

In the long run, this time feels short now bc mine are 6 and 8 and it's terrific. But oof those years of 2 little kids was hard.

OP here. Thanks for all your suggestions and for this PP's reality check. I'll check out No Bad Kids but if there are other books worth reading for managing the transition (or children's books to introduce the idea of a sibling) that would be great.

Someone gifted us this, which was not necessarily helpful to older kid, but made mom and dad laugh: https://smile.amazon.com/Julius-Baby-World-Kevin-Henkes/dp/0688089437/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2KKWRZCQT7DGV&keywords=julius+the+baby+of+the+world&qid=1671040100&sprefix=Julius%2C+b%2Caps%2C84&sr=8-1

Carrier. I used Boba wrap and Ergo.
Double stroller