Anonymous wrote:It’s a tough age bc the real differences between people become apparent when they are all out of school. Some pull ahead into grad school and jobs and marriages and other alike your son are just stagnating and get left behind. For some reason some people lack the fear to pull ahead and plan and it is really deadly. He might do well in something really structured like a professional program that’s long and has a good payoff like dentistry, veterinary school, or really anything that will set him up with a profession and bring him into contact with same aged peers in a context where he can basically masquerade as a man with a plan until he has one. Hopefully he gets himself together along the way or finds a purpose by observing other people and paths. I think it’s very depressing to leave college and enter some random job without knowing anything about different career paths or having any dream or plan.

All of this. At a certain point you realize it’s not just circumstantial and not caused(perhaps exacerbated) by social media comparisons. OP doesn’t mention anything about education or vocational training, so it’s difficult to advise.

^lack the gear

It’s a tough age bc the real differences between people become apparent when they are all out of school. Some pull ahead into grad school and jobs and marriages and other alike your son are just stagnating and get left behind. For some reason some people lack the fear to pull ahead and plan and it is really deadly. He might do well in something really structured like a professional program that’s long and has a good payoff like dentistry, veterinary school, or really anything that will set him up with a profession and bring him into contact with same aged peers in a context where he can basically masquerade as a man with a plan until he has one. Hopefully he gets himself together along the way or finds a purpose by observing other people and paths. I think it’s very depressing to leave college and enter some random job without knowing anything about different career paths or having any dream or plan.

Anonymous wrote:My AS in his early 20's suffers from major depressive disorder. He was fine until his 20's and completely fell apart. He goes to therapy, takes meds but can't get out of the bed in the morning to work out. He used to workout everyday and lived a normal life and is now barely able to leave his room. Once he saw his ex girlfriend on social media it went downhill fast.

I'm sorry OP, hugs. I wish I had an answer.

Im sorry, what happened with his ex gf?

My AS in his early 20's suffers from major depressive disorder. He was fine until his 20's and completely fell apart. He goes to therapy, takes meds but can't get out of the bed in the morning to work out. He used to workout everyday and lived a normal life and is now barely able to leave his room. Once he saw his ex girlfriend on social media it went downhill fast.

I'm sorry OP, hugs. I wish I had an answer.

Anonymous wrote:Definitely therapy OP.

One of my friends is a therapist, and apparently your son's issue is a problem for many young people his age.

I'm so glad we didn't have social media until I was in my 30s. I think it makes things even harder on younger people who feel they aren't "perfect."

Even I'm affected by it at my age, realize it, and have to really limit or cut off social media exposure for a while. It's not healthy.

would love to hear more from you, did the therapist say more?

Definitely therapy OP.

One of my friends is a therapist, and apparently your son's issue is a problem for many young people his age.

I'm so glad we didn't have social media until I was in my 30s. I think it makes things even harder on younger people who feel they aren't "perfect."

Even I'm affected by it at my age, realize it, and have to really limit or cut off social media exposure for a while. It's not healthy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:maria shriver did a new doc about xanax and they said they xanax MASKS the problem. anxiety is normal, you learn how to ride the wave. youngins today think anxiety is not normal and something is terribly wrong.

sometimes its a season in life. everyone struggles, some while they're young and some while they're old.

its sad that the root cause for millions of young people is comparison on social media

+1 and how is xanax gonna fix the problem of comparing yourself to others on social media?

I'll say again.. tell your adult son to get off social media. IMO, it's pathetic how so many adults are on social media, comparing themselves to what amounts to airbrushed pictures.

I bet so many people would suddenly be cured of their depression if they just got off social media.

yep.. they're anxious cause of the comparison but instead of doing the hard thing which is to deal with your thoughts, u take the easy route

Americans have a drug dependency culture -- drugs will fix all of my unhealthy lifestyle choices.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:maria shriver did a new doc about xanax and they said they xanax MASKS the problem. anxiety is normal, you learn how to ride the wave. youngins today think anxiety is not normal and something is terribly wrong.

sometimes its a season in life. everyone struggles, some while they're young and some while they're old.

its sad that the root cause for millions of young people is comparison on social media

+1 and how is xanax gonna fix the problem of comparing yourself to others on social media?

I'll say again.. tell your adult son to get off social media. IMO, it's pathetic how so many adults are on social media, comparing themselves to what amounts to airbrushed pictures.

I bet so many people would suddenly be cured of their depression if they just got off social media.

yep.. they're anxious cause of the comparison but instead of doing the hard thing which is to deal with your thoughts, u take the easy route

Anonymous wrote:maria shriver did a new doc about xanax and they said they xanax MASKS the problem. anxiety is normal, you learn how to ride the wave. youngins today think anxiety is not normal and something is terribly wrong.

sometimes its a season in life. everyone struggles, some while they're young and some while they're old.

its sad that the root cause for millions of young people is comparison on social media

+1 and how is xanax gonna fix the problem of comparing yourself to others on social media?

I'll say again.. tell your adult son to get off social media. IMO, it's pathetic how so many adults are on social media, comparing themselves to what amounts to airbrushed pictures.

I bet so many people would suddenly be cured of their depression if they just got off social media.

Anonymous wrote:he's 21 and balding

Tell him to get a buzz cut, use Minoxidil and get to the gym. Working out releases endorphins and he’ll feel better about his appearance. If you can afford it, pay for a personal trainer. Plus therapy/meds and helping him forge a career path.

maria shriver did a new doc about xanax and they said they xanax MASKS the problem. anxiety is normal, you learn how to ride the wave. youngins today think anxiety is not normal and something is terribly wrong.

sometimes its a season in life. everyone struggles, some while they're young and some while they're old.

its sad that the root cause for millions of young people is comparison on social media

Anonymous wrote:I.HATE.SOCIAL.MEDIA.

Tell your young adults to get off it, and go volunteer, workout, get active, join a club, a church.

This. I truly don't believe that therapy and medication is the answer. People have to learn/practice resiliency as a life-long skill. One of the best ways to do this is to volunteer to help OTHERS!

I had a couple of major depressive episodes in my early 20s, before before social media. I’m sure social media makes things so much worse, but I definitely felt like a failure conspired to my peers. I think early 20s are particularly rough because some people seem to fully launch with a plan of action and are able to execute it successfully, while it takes a little while longer for others.

I wouldn’t have listened to that perspective from anyone when I was depressed. I had to get there myself. Took a long time, plus medication and therapy.

I think let your son know often how much you love him and how important he is to you, just as he is. Remind him that social media is not representative of real life - his friends aren’t posting about their nights spent home alone eating ice cream from the carton or whatever. Encourage him to take an 30 day break from social media to see what happens. Maybe nothing. And encourage him to see a doctor and a counselor. You might be able to help him find someone and make an appointment, especially if he’s on your insurance. Or make some calls for him to find a counselor with openings - it’s tough right now.

I.HATE.SOCIAL.MEDIA.

Tell your young adults to get off it, and go volunteer, workout, get active, join a club, a church.