Anonymous
12/07/2022 14:46
Subject: Re:Socially awkward or red flag?: Guy said he wants to kidnap me.
I dated someone who asked me if I wanted him to hurt me. Later when I called him out he claimed to never say that he wanted to hurt me. Which was true, because what he said was Do you want me to hurt you. Like - oh sure, if you put it that way, then it’s all good. No surprise he was a controlling creep who trolled for other gullible women as well.
OP, this guy is telling you who he is up front. Unless you want him to kidnap you, no need to stick around and see what happens.
OP, this guy is telling you who he is up front. Unless you want him to kidnap you, no need to stick around and see what happens.
Anonymous
12/07/2022 14:37
Subject: Socially awkward or red flag?: Guy said he wants to kidnap me.
Red flag.
You in danger girl.
Seriously. Run as far away as possible.
You in danger girl.
Seriously. Run as far away as possible.
Anonymous
12/07/2022 14:26
Subject: Socially awkward or red flag?: Guy said he wants to kidnap me.
Yikes, life is short. Move on. If no sparks, I wouldn't give him a second date - particularly with so many negatives. The signs always seem obvious in retrospect. Try not to get to that point
Anonymous
12/07/2022 14:23
Subject: Socially awkward or red flag?: Guy said he wants to kidnap me.
Anonymous wrote:I recently went out with a guy I met through a mutual friend. The date went well, but I can't say there were any sparks. At the end of our date, twice he said he wanted to kidnap me. Even though I found it a bit cringe, I laughed it off and chalked it up to a poor choice of words and a way to express that he liked me a lot, which he has said numerous times. During an earlier call this afternoon (Odd, but for whatever reason, the phone calls feel flat), while we were planning another date, he repeated it. It annoyed me, and I'm having second thoughts about going out with him. Red flag or poor word choice?
No sparks? No second date.
Anonymous
12/07/2022 14:22
Subject: Socially awkward or red flag?: Guy said he wants to kidnap me.
Creepy, red flag. At worst, he’s controlling and abusive. At best, he’s the type of person who hits on a specific phase/pun/joke they like as they say it over and over as if it’s funny - maybe it was mildly amusing the first time they say it or maybe it’s so weird or creepy you nervously laugh and they think it’s funny.
Is “kidnap” a phrase that comes up in Incel/red pill/pick up artist circles?
Is “kidnap” a phrase that comes up in Incel/red pill/pick up artist circles?
Anonymous
12/07/2022 14:15
Subject: Socially awkward or red flag?: Guy said he wants to kidnap me.
That’s creepy. No second date. And tell your friend.
Anonymous
12/07/2022 13:50
Subject: Re:Socially awkward or red flag?: Guy said he wants to kidnap me.
It sounds to me like poor social skills, but that's relevant as a turn off. I'd decline a second date. Maybe even an act of kindness to let him know why.
Anonymous
12/07/2022 13:35
Subject: Re:Socially awkward or red flag?: Guy said he wants to kidnap me.
Flat + creepy is a no for me.
Anonymous
12/07/2022 13:33
Subject: Re:Socially awkward or red flag?: Guy said he wants to kidnap me.
Anonymous wrote:I mean I don’t think he’s actually going to kidnap you but it’s a red flag for poor social skills/situational awareness.
Yes. I'm a guy with admittedly poor social skills who's said some stupid things, but this? Twice?
Anonymous
12/07/2022 13:30
Subject: Socially awkward or red flag?: Guy said he wants to kidnap me.
I would ask him what he means by that. Bring up that he said he wants to kidnap you 3 times and ask why he keeps saying that.
The PP who mentioned that he's a stalker might be onto something.
The PP who mentioned that he's a stalker might be onto something.
Anonymous
12/07/2022 13:24
Subject: Socially awkward or red flag?: Guy said he wants to kidnap me.
There are a billion men in the world who won’t say that to you. I wouldn’t go out again
Anonymous
12/06/2022 22:19
Subject: Socially awkward or red flag?: Guy said he wants to kidnap me.
Seriously, I don't know why this is a question. We are in a post me to world and you made a second date with a dude that said he wants to kidnap you. That's not a red flag, it's a massive signal fire. You mean to tell me that you're wasting your time with this nut. By agreeing to a second date is practically an invitation to be kidnapped.
Man
Man
Anonymous
12/06/2022 22:10
Subject: Re:Socially awkward or red flag?: Guy said he wants to kidnap me.
Anonymous wrote:Listen to your gut.
This. It's weird. It's not funny or cute.
Stop laughing off things you find inappropriate.
Anonymous
12/06/2022 22:08
Subject: Re:Socially awkward or red flag?: Guy said he wants to kidnap me.
Obviously, there are a lot of communication cues that, in context, could affect interpretation. Based just on the wording, I’d see it as a huge red flag. I certainly wouldn’t date him again, and would be going into protective mode, making sure someone knew who he was and what he’d said, and being extra cautious generally.
Anonymous
12/06/2022 22:01
Subject: Socially awkward or red flag?: Guy said he wants to kidnap me.
NO. Creepy AF.