My DD transferring but doesn't have to do with Covid, more that it wasn't a good fit. But she is very excited about where she is transferring to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS is at a large OOS school and is very happy, but I know from the parent facebook page that some students are struggling.

We have twins at OOS top LACs. One had a harder time socially in HS and has made a great adjustment to college. The other DC probably had a little harder time in the beginning, perhaps because of comparing it to a very social HS life. Both now really seem to enjoy where they are. Both talk about the challenges of being a student after the messed up HS experience due to COVID (they also say it is what is - they seem fairly realistic about the threats posed by COVID and why schools had to make these decisions).

Both did express a little ennui after going back to campus after Thanksgiving break. My guess this can be fairly normal.

GL to all the Class of '26 out there!

In my experience, and from reading the parent Facebook page, there seems to be a pattern of kids who were more introverted in HS finding their footing in college and being happy, if not necessarily “super” happy, while the kids who were very socially active and connected in HS struggling a bit. I think it has to do with expectations and suddenly finding yourself a smaller fish in a bigger pond.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a first year at a top 20 school. His experience so far has been mixed. I am struck by how many of his high school peers are having likewise mixed experiences so far. They are doing well academically but are hit with feelings of ennui. This cohort has been through so much — high school sophomore year interrupted mid-year, a Covid induced discontinuous high school junior year and crazy college application process high school senior year. These kids are so confused now in their first year of college. The sense I get is that these kids just lost a big chunk of their childhood, as the formative high school years were kind of ripped away from them. Talk of transferring, pausing education and going on cross country camping trips abound. Anyone seeing this / feeling this from this cohort of kids? I struggle to offer words of encouragement, namely that it will all sort itself out.

TBH, it sounds like you are describing kids/families who prioritized rank over fit. Now you are wondering why they don’t seem happy.

Generally speaking, if you make life decisions based upon pleasing/impressing others, you are unlikely to achieve personal fulfillment (though your social media might be awesome).

Don’t be a dick. A northwestern or Penn is going to open a hell of a lot more doors than JMU and that’s just pragmatic — vs. an attempt to i “impress others”

Sometimes you do the more difficult thing that will yield a bigger payout later

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a first year at a top 20 school. His experience so far has been mixed. I am struck by how many of his high school peers are having likewise mixed experiences so far. They are doing well academically but are hit with feelings of ennui. This cohort has been through so much — high school sophomore year interrupted mid-year, a Covid induced discontinuous high school junior year and crazy college application process high school senior year. These kids are so confused now in their first year of college. The sense I get is that these kids just lost a big chunk of their childhood, as the formative high school years were kind of ripped away from them. Talk of transferring, pausing education and going on cross country camping trips abound. Anyone seeing this / feeling this from this cohort of kids? I struggle to offer words of encouragement, namely that it will all sort itself out.

I suspect I know you IRL. My DS is the same, and his entire friend group (all at T20 schools) is right there too. I mention the T20 thing only because of the 'the proze for winning the pie eating contest is MORE PIE' thing. That's hitting DS unexpectedly hard, among other factors you cite. Namely the ennui of missing so much of HS (we live in a city that was locked down almost the longest).

More than one guy in DS's friend group is coming apart at the seams now in freshman year. It's heartbreaking.

The whole prize for winning is more pie thing is why I’d love my current jr to consider a gap year but it’s a hard sell since it’s so uncommon

OOS. Loves it and found friends quickly. Looking forward to a break

Anonymous wrote:DC is a first year at a top 20 school. His experience so far has been mixed. I am struck by how many of his high school peers are having likewise mixed experiences so far. They are doing well academically but are hit with feelings of ennui. This cohort has been through so much — high school sophomore year interrupted mid-year, a Covid induced discontinuous high school junior year and crazy college application process high school senior year. These kids are so confused now in their first year of college. The sense I get is that these kids just lost a big chunk of their childhood, as the formative high school years were kind of ripped away from them. Talk of transferring, pausing education and going on cross country camping trips abound. Anyone seeing this / feeling this from this cohort of kids? I struggle to offer words of encouragement, namely that it will all sort itself out.

He needs to drink more.

My kid was burnt out from the pressures of a W high school, so she chose a lower ranked school to get out of the pressure cooker . Being a big fish in a small pond helped her blossom. I am proud that she could make that choice.

Anonymous wrote:DC is a first year at a top 20 school. His experience so far has been mixed. I am struck by how many of his high school peers are having likewise mixed experiences so far. They are doing well academically but are hit with feelings of ennui. This cohort has been through so much — high school sophomore year interrupted mid-year, a Covid induced discontinuous high school junior year and crazy college application process high school senior year. These kids are so confused now in their first year of college. The sense I get is that these kids just lost a big chunk of their childhood, as the formative high school years were kind of ripped away from them. Talk of transferring, pausing education and going on cross country camping trips abound. Anyone seeing this / feeling this from this cohort of kids? I struggle to offer words of encouragement, namely that it will all sort itself out.

TBH, it sounds like you are describing kids/families who prioritized rank over fit. Now you are wondering why they don’t seem happy.

Generally speaking, if you make life decisions based upon pleasing/impressing others, you are unlikely to achieve personal fulfillment (though your social media might be awesome).

Happy DC here. He is at a very large state school as an OOS student. 90% of students are instate. He seems well adjusted and liking school. He’s got a roommate group for next year. 2 instate students and surprisingly another FCPS student. He’s in a 50 student cohort program for his major so I think that helped make the large school a little smaller.

My son is struggling a bit but seems more optimistic for spring. He had a really big, fun, very close group of friends in high school — an experience very hard to replicate. His friends are all over the map. Some really struggling, others seems fairly happy. I’m hopeful things turn around for my son, as well.

Happy all semester, but now dealing with finals and ready for a break.

DD met a fun group of friends her first week and absolutely loves it so far.

Anonymous wrote:DC is a first year at a top 20 school. His experience so far has been mixed. I am struck by how many of his high school peers are having likewise mixed experiences so far. They are doing well academically but are hit with feelings of ennui. This cohort has been through so much — high school sophomore year interrupted mid-year, a Covid induced discontinuous high school junior year and crazy college application process high school senior year. These kids are so confused now in their first year of college. The sense I get is that these kids just lost a big chunk of their childhood, as the formative high school years were kind of ripped away from them. Talk of transferring, pausing education and going on cross country camping trips abound. Anyone seeing this / feeling this from this cohort of kids? I struggle to offer words of encouragement, namely that it will all sort itself out.

I suspect I know you IRL. My DS is the same, and his entire friend group (all at T20 schools) is right there too. I mention the T20 thing only because of the 'the proze for winning the pie eating contest is MORE PIE' thing. That's hitting DS unexpectedly hard, among other factors you cite. Namely the ennui of missing so much of HS (we live in a city that was locked down almost the longest).

More than one guy in DS's friend group is coming apart at the seams now in freshman year. It's heartbreaking.

My kid is in-state. 45 minutes away. Comes over for birthdays, TG, Dr appointments, sometimes on the weekends etc. Has a ton of friends from HS, years of sports in the area, his EC activity and kids he knew from daycare, ES, MS etc. He is doing well academically and is in two tough majors. He is not in Greek life. Most people he knows are not in Greek life

What he has observed and made comments about is the is the drinking, random hookups and shallow relationships that are happening at college.

His assessment was that the girls who are not users and manipulative, have a lot of self-respect and they maintain their distance while being friendly. They are cautious. The ones who are available are the ones who are more hardened and calculating. They want to party and want the boys to pay for it. They have a different mindset. In any case, he is a freshman and he is at present still mostly hanging out with his school friends (male and female), dorm mates, classmates and a few people he has met from the various clubs. Still, its been only 3 months.

He is also super busy with classes, exams and extra credit work because grading is tough.

Anonymous wrote:My DS is at a large OOS school and is very happy, but I know from the parent facebook page that some students are struggling.

We have twins at OOS top LACs. One had a harder time socially in HS and has made a great adjustment to college. The other DC probably had a little harder time in the beginning, perhaps because of comparing it to a very social HS life. Both now really seem to enjoy where they are. Both talk about the challenges of being a student after the messed up HS experience due to COVID (they also say it is what is - they seem fairly realistic about the threats posed by COVID and why schools had to make these decisions).

Both did express a little ennui after going back to campus after Thanksgiving break. My guess this can be fairly normal.

GL to all the Class of '26 out there!