Anonymous wrote:What portion of the student body at your DC’s college are non drinkers? And, how are they faring socially?

At my DD's school, it seemed small (~15%?). She had some trouble finding them at first, but then chose to hang around with them and found fun things to do. Her school purposely offered activities on the weekend that were not alcohol-centric, which helped. You can ask about this on your tour, and by looking on UNIGO (which have survey results from each school, related to the drinking culture/pressures).

Anonymous wrote:Op, you go to a party. You hold a drink. No one knows you're not drinking. No one knows what's in the cup. Lots of ways to handle this responsibly, enjoy college life and have fun.

oh no. They push it. They ask. They look inside your cup. You are found out and labeled. It’s a real problem for the non-drinker. Plus, it’s not enjoyable to stand around while others are getting smashe
D.

Anonymous wrote:If your kid is looking for a school with a non-drinking crowd, pick a school near stuff to do. My DS at a college goes out to dinner, sees concerts, attends professional sporting events and otherwises uses the city where his college is located. He also drinks some, but he has friends that don't and he has lots of things to do other than partying.

I think this is good advice, regardless of what school you choose. College life often centers around a party culture, so talking to a non-party kid about how to engage in other activities, whether at school or in the community, is important.

My kids don't happen to be big drinkers. My DS had never been "drunk" until summer after freshman year and he even had pledged a fraternity. He learned how to drink socially, as in have 1-2 beers and go to parties but was never even buzzed until sophomore year when he was able to understand how much he could safely drink without losing control etc.

My DD does not like to be drunk, she has not been drunk since she was 17 (on vacation with boyfriends family believe it or not - I was pissed). That said, she is very social, works at a popular bar and is in a sorority. She just doesn't drink more than one drink or so. Her roommate conversely is black out drunk every weekend (not an exaggeration).

Yes, they tell me this all in great detail. We have a great relationship and talk openly.

It IS absolutely possible to go to even a school considered a "party school" and not be a drinker. It is even possible to be Greek and not really be a drinker. If you are not going to participate in the party culture, you have to find your people in other ways, clubs, sports, jobs whatever.

Anonymous wrote:My non drinking kid attends a school that is consistently ranked in the top 10 of those "Best Party school" polls. He has done fine socially and has friends. I think a big part of that is he joined clubs and participated in events that were more nature/outdoorsy focused.

This is an excellent point. Whether the activities are outdoorsy or not, it's key for kids to have activities, interests, extracurriculars -- not only if they want to avoid drinking but also because, well, it's healthy mentally and emotionally to have interests and meet others who share those interests. This is true whether the student is at a party school, a small rural college, a big urban college, or anywhere else.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your kid is looking for a school with a non-drinking crowd, pick a school near stuff to do. My DS at a college goes out to dinner, sees concerts, attends professional sporting events and otherwises uses the city where his college is located. He also drinks some, but he has friends that don't and he has lots of things to do other than partying.

+1

Too often the only real social option for students at small, cold weather, rural schools revolves around drinking alcohol.

Then those are crap schools with students who lack the imagination to create other things to do and an administration that sits back and shrugs at alcohol culture while failing to encourage other activities.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What portion of the student body at your DC’s college are non drinkers? And, how are they faring socially?

Avoid schools with big frat culture

at the same time, learn to handle one or two drinks

Mom, I don't drink due to fear of becoming an alcoholic like you.

Well said. The ignorant smugness around here...

+1

And none more ignorantly smug that the parent who posted above about condoning one sibling teaching the other (apparently teenaged) sibling to smoke weed "to lessen the awkwardness" if second sibling went to college and was around weed smokers.

I'm wagering that mom and dad smoke weed themselves--they're adults, after all--but they refuse to acknowledge that plenty of research over many years shows that weed is terrible for developiing brains -- and our brains keep developing into our early 20s.

But nope, better be sure the poor, naive kid has experience with weed before going off to college, because God forbid the kid should ever have an "awkward" moment, or learn to say no thanks.

Op, you go to a party. You hold a drink. No one knows you're not drinking. No one knows what's in the cup. Lots of ways to handle this responsibly, enjoy college life and have fun.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What portion of the student body at your DC’s college are non drinkers? And, how are they faring socially?

Avoid schools with big frat culture

at the same time, learn to handle one or two drinks

Mom, I don't drink due to fear of becoming an alcoholic like you.

Well said. The ignorant smugness around here...

Anonymous wrote:If your kid is looking for a school with a non-drinking crowd, pick a school near stuff to do. My DS at a college goes out to dinner, sees concerts, attends professional sporting events and otherwises uses the city where his college is located. He also drinks some, but he has friends that don't and he has lots of things to do other than partying.

+1

Too often the only real social option for students at small, cold weather, rural schools revolves around drinking alcohol.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always talk to our HS Senior about making safe choices when they go out, calling us, using Uber, etc. Well they recently announced to us that we can stop b/c they don't drink and are always the designated driver for their friends. Don't get me wrong, DH and I are not disappointed, and if this is ultimately their lifestyle choice we support it 100%, but we are concerned DC is going to go to college and decide to drink with 0 experience - which could be dangerous.

This is a legitimate concern. Our daughter’s college roommate was a skinny little thing who never drank before college and once she got there she would get herself absolutely hammered and our daughter would have to take care of her. Overly protective parents in high school really do their kids a disservice.

+1

My non drinking kid attends a school that is consistently ranked in the top 10 of those "Best Party school" polls. He has done fine socially and has friends. I think a big part of that is he joined clubs and participated in events that were more nature/outdoorsy focused.

Anonymous wrote:We always talk to our HS Senior about making safe choices when they go out, calling us, using Uber, etc. Well they recently announced to us that we can stop b/c they don't drink and are always the designated driver for their friends. Don't get me wrong, DH and I are not disappointed, and if this is ultimately their lifestyle choice we support it 100%, but we are concerned DC is going to go to college and decide to drink with 0 experience - which could be dangerous.

This is a legitimate concern. Our daughter’s college roommate was a skinny little thing who never drank before college and once she got there she would get herself absolutely hammered and our daughter would have to take care of her. Overly protective parents in high school really do their kids a disservice.

Urban schools like NYU, Northeastern, Boston University

If your kid is looking for a school with a non-drinking crowd, pick a school near stuff to do. My DS at a college goes out to dinner, sees concerts, attends professional sporting events and otherwises uses the city where his college is located. He also drinks some, but he has friends that don't and he has lots of things to do other than partying.