Op how much does she weigh and how tall is she?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Etiquette classes might be in order.

What a hilariously DCUM answer.

Why? Etiquette classes teach you things like basic table manners, waiting until everyone's been served to start eating, not to pig out if everyone else at the table is having a more normal portion size, etc. It also doesn't make OP the bad guy.

Ok,
And at many times at parties there is so much food. Enough that everyone can pretty much have whatever portion they desire. So, if there is a cake table with slices out and everyone has been served, there is no rule you can’t go back for seconds, thirds if it is out and available. Especially when the host is saying please help yourself

No one needs 3 slices of cake, I promise you that. Some people self-regulate, and others need to learn how to do that. Learning societal norms can help with the regulation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Etiquette classes might be in order.

What a hilariously DCUM answer.

Why? Etiquette classes teach you things like basic table manners, waiting until everyone's been served to start eating, not to pig out if everyone else at the table is having a more normal portion size, etc. It also doesn't make OP the bad guy.

Ok,
And at many times at parties there is so much food. Enough that everyone can pretty much have whatever portion they desire. So, if there is a cake table with slices out and everyone has been served, there is no rule you can’t go back for seconds, thirds if it is out and available. Especially when the host is saying please help yourself

I don't think there is anything wrong with only allowing one treat after a meal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Etiquette classes might be in order.

What a hilariously DCUM answer.

Why? Etiquette classes teach you things like basic table manners, waiting until everyone's been served to start eating, not to pig out if everyone else at the table is having a more normal portion size, etc. It also doesn't make OP the bad guy.

I could have written most of your post OP. My DD would even get sick and throw up after parties bc of eating too much. After that happened more than once we knew she needed some guidance. My DD is a teen now and it is a lot better, pretty much a non issue now.

I know DCUM disagrees largely, but for us, we set limits. At home, she would serve herself her dinner portion and what she wanted, but if she wanted seconds it would be a much smaller portion, no thirds. Hungry later? Then fruits, vegetables, or milk/cheese.

At parties, before we went, I would remind her 1 dessert, no more than 3 pieces of pizza. She can have something else later at home if she is still hungry.

For snacks I helped guide her with what a portion size looks like and how we need to vary the food groups we are eating.

We also upped her physical activity.

She was on borderline of overweight (according to children's BMI percentile) but now she isn't and for the most is good at self regulation, but it does take her effort and thought on her part. But that is true for most people as they get into adulthood. It is a good skill to learn that just because you want a third piece of pie doesn't mean you should eat it

I think the best thing you can do is focus on filling her plate with veggies at every meal. It's a good practice for everyone, not just for overweight people. Include two cups of veggies with every meal. It's going to take work to incorporate that but that effort will pay off. The idea should be to add more food to her plate rather than making her eat less.

You don't want to completely eliminate sweets but it's ok to tell kids that there is a limit. 10 treats is way too much for any one, boy or girl, child or adult.

Occasions like thanksgiving are ok to let her eat as much as she wants but make sure that you are only allowing that for one meal, not 4-5 days with the excuse that it's Thanksgiving.

Anonymous wrote:The good news is that it probably doesn’t matter very much what you do or don’t say. If she’s going to struggle with overeating, you’re largely irrelevant.

This is true. I mean, she will know she is, ahem, chubby.

Anonymous wrote:I could have writtten this post. My kid is super active but still eats a ton of food, eats too quickly and always asks for more. We try to make sure she gets a wide variety of foods and hope that pays off in the long run.

Is your kid chubby? Just curious

1) she is chubby
2) she doesn’t overeat if you don’t cook a ton and offer veggies as second serving

I think you have your answer here

Anonymous wrote:Etiquette classes might be in order.

What a hilariously DCUM answer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aw, poor kid. I feel for her, I had the same issue when I was a kid and still do. I feel completely out of control around food.

Reprimanding her, lecturing her, reminding her, etc won’t help. I knew it was “wrong”, I couldn’t help myself, and it just brought a lot of shame and guilt (which made me eat MORE, and in secret).

I would focus on:

- making sure your meals are centered around vegetables and lean protein. It’s generally hard to overeat those.

- Keep snacks out of the house, things like chips and cookies. Fruit and nuts are better options.

- Frame it as you are providing nutritious foods because she is growing, not denying foods because they are “bad”.

- Don’t stress during holidays, parties, etc. Most adult go a little crazy during this time, too.

- I’d also really ask yourself if you would feel this way if she were a boy. If a boy were eating a lot, would people recommend etiquette school? Probably not, they’d probably just say he was growing. Let’s give girls that same courtesy.

Oh please. If one of my sons was rude enough to take 10 treats at a party, I’d take the whole plate from him and he’d hear about it all the way home.

You’d waste an entire plate of treats just to prove a point? OK psycho.

Anonymous wrote:Aw, poor kid. I feel for her, I had the same issue when I was a kid and still do. I feel completely out of control around food.

Reprimanding her, lecturing her, reminding her, etc won’t help. I knew it was “wrong”, I couldn’t help myself, and it just brought a lot of shame and guilt (which made me eat MORE, and in secret).

I would focus on:

- making sure your meals are centered around vegetables and lean protein. It’s generally hard to overeat those.

- Keep snacks out of the house, things like chips and cookies. Fruit and nuts are better options.

- Frame it as you are providing nutritious foods because she is growing, not denying foods because they are “bad”.

- Don’t stress during holidays, parties, etc. Most adult go a little crazy during this time, too.

- I’d also really ask yourself if you would feel this way if she were a boy. If a boy were eating a lot, would people recommend etiquette school? Probably not, they’d probably just say he was growing. Let’s give girls that same courtesy.

Oh please. If one of my sons was rude enough to take 10 treats at a party, I’d take the whole plate from him and he’d hear about it all the way home.

I’m really annoyed that the kids in your family loaded up plates with desserts and threw away half. How wasteful! At least your DD didn’t waste hers.

If I were you I would have played the heavy and made ALL kids limit their treats to two

Take her to the doctor. Get counselling from him/her and enter a family (i.e not just her) weightloss plan.

DCUM is a horrible place for dietary advice because half the posters here have eating disorders.