Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is a “minor body problem?”

I have a sore throat because my apartment is dry. I twisted my ankle yesterday but think it'll be better in a few days if I just elevate and ice it. I walked through a cloud of weed smoke and now have a headache. My hand slid and I jammed my finger and now it's sore.

You're right. All minor.
Honestly, for the rest, it sounds like your parents can sense you have some sort of neurodivergence, such as high-functioning Asperger's/ ADHD, and still believe you need parenting as an adult. Which is exceedingly irritating for you, but clearly you also need a bit of a push to clean your place! So... they're not entirely wrong. They probably want grandkids some day, and you're not helping!!!

Many more people from OP's generation than the previous generations don't want or plan to have kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is a “minor body problem?”

I have a sore throat because my apartment is dry. I twisted my ankle yesterday but think it'll be better in a few days if I just elevate and ice it. I walked through a cloud of weed smoke and now have a headache. My hand slid and I jammed my finger and now it's sore.

You're right. All minor.
Honestly, for the rest, it sounds like your parents can sense you have some sort of neurodivergence, such as high-functioning Asperger's/ ADHD, and still believe you need parenting as an adult. Which is exceedingly irritating for you, but clearly you also need a bit of a push to clean your place! So... they're not entirely wrong. They probably want grandkids some day, and you're not helping!!!

I've already decided that I'll be happier not having children.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is a “minor body problem?”

I have a sore throat because my apartment is dry. I twisted my ankle yesterday but think it'll be better in a few days if I just elevate and ice it. I walked through a cloud of weed smoke and now have a headache. My hand slid and I jammed my finger and now it's sore.

You're right. All minor.
Honestly, for the rest, it sounds like your parents can sense you have some sort of neurodivergence, such as high-functioning Asperger's/ ADHD, and still believe you need parenting as an adult. Which is exceedingly irritating for you, but clearly you also need a bit of a push to clean your place! So... they're not entirely wrong. They probably want grandkids some day, and you're not helping!!!

OP,

I say this with kindness. If your apartment is a pigsty, you won't be able to have friends or a potential date over, without them seriously reconsidering their relationship with you.

It sounds like you have ADHD and executive functioning is not your strong suit. It sounds like you don't have a lot of social needs.

If tidying up by yourself is too hard for you, can you afford a cleaner who will help you tidy up weekly as part of their fee? And who can "teach" you how to keep your apartment relatively clean, by telling you which storage to get, how to sort and dump, etc?

Seriously. I am married to someone with severe ADHD who just cannot, to save his life, tidy up. As a result our home looks like a bomb went off, because I can't do it all. It's hard to live with someone like that. If I'd known how his ADHD would impact our life, I wouldn't have married him, but as a single man, he had a mostly empty apartment so I couldn't see the problems arising from a house full of pets and kids.

I sympathize with the fact that you have meddling parents. I do too!

Executive function and social success go hand in hand. Please reconsider.

Did your parents grow up in another country or culture by any chance?

Anonymous wrote:If they insist on visiting, have them stay in a hotel due to their constant criticism of your living space. Just say you are no longer hosting and they are not welcome to come over to your place.

Move to a tiny studio. Or share a place with some other people, meaning your parents are not welcome to stay.

You say you are grateful and want to repay them. Do that by doing the minimum adulting required to stay healthy & outlive them. Keep your place clean enough (ie not hoarder level or hazardous in terms of bugs, etc). Disorganized is ok.
Stop telling them that you have a sore throat/headache/etc., if you know they are going to plaster you about it.
I think everyone with good parents experiences this - it is hard Thor parents to give up their role as caretakers. Show them that you don’t need a caretaker, & they will eventually back off on trying to manage these issues for you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP. Are you a man or a woman?

Do you want to live alone for the rest of your life? Or do you want to be involved in an romantic relationship?

If you want to date, you need to learn how to clean and keep your apartment reasonably neat.

Also, it’s unclear if you are talking about piles of magazines or papers sitting out, or gross stuff like dishes not being washed. Things that can lead to bugs are rude to people other than yourself because it could hurts your neighbors in terms of bugs.

Clean your place.

I'm a man, and yes, I do want to live alone for the rest of my life. I've never been in a romantic relationship, nor do I ever plan to. Being married would feel like a loss of freedom for me.

Even if you don't want to get married, don't you ever want people to be able to come over to your home without recoiling in disgust? Friends, coworkers, a neighbor who accidentally got locked out and desperately needs the bathroom?

OP, if you are not planning on having any other familial relationships other than with your parents, it’s a small sacrifice to have to make to hire a cleaning service once a month before they arrive. Just deal with it. It’s not a big ask on their part and they only nag about things like this because they care about you and your well-being. Cutting them off over something so trivial makes no sense.

Anonymous wrote:Op thinks like a teenager. Hard to believe she is 30.

While I do have a lot a juvenile aspects, none of them hurt my parents or anyone else. Being immature is only a problem when it's in the sense that you can't perform survival skills that you should've acquired by your age, and thus age, and thus need others to do them for you, as it would inconvenience them.

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP. Are you a man or a woman?

Do you want to live alone for the rest of your life? Or do you want to be involved in an romantic relationship?

If you want to date, you need to learn how to clean and keep your apartment reasonably neat.

Also, it’s unclear if you are talking about piles of magazines or papers sitting out, or gross stuff like dishes not being washed. Things that can lead to bugs are rude to people other than yourself because it could hurts your neighbors in terms of bugs.

Clean your place.

I'm a man, and yes, I do want to live alone for the rest of my life. I've never been in a romantic relationship, nor do I ever plan to. Being married would feel like a loss of freedom for me.

If they insist on visiting, have them stay in a hotel due to their constant criticism of your living space. Just say you are no longer hosting and they are not welcome to come over to your place.

Op, they should not be staying with you. You can insist they don't. Anyone, large house or small apt can insist they don't. Whether they take time off of work is not your business. Only if they complain about that detail can you ask them to stop talking about it. Btw, you don't even have to have them in your apartment but understand that people who love you will be a little concerned if your living situation is a true outliner. You can insist that your parents respect you. As long as you are completely financially independent from them, you are a peer. You deserve the respect of an equal adult. They don't get to be rude. Family doesn't get a pass.

"my body, my choice"? ... ok, I haven't read the whole thread so since I haven't, this sounds a bit odd. Odd of them, odd of you.

"It would be pretty low of me to cut them out of my life "... "I've even offered to send them an allowance" --- ok, Op now you're sounding a bit off

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is a “minor body problem?”

I have a sore throat because my apartment is dry. I twisted my ankle yesterday but think it'll be better in a few days if I just elevate and ice it. I walked through a cloud of weed smoke and now have a headache. My hand slid and I jammed my finger and now it's sore.

What exactly is a “minor body problem?”