Anonymous wrote:Our anxious child has made tremendous progress while at NPS. It's a comforting and safe environment, and the teachers and administration could not have been more helpful and supportive.

We had a similar experience at NPS -- completely supportive administration and teachers. Our anxious child had thrived there.

I understand where you are coming from, PP. Maybe this is true at the more progressive schools because families self select. But I have not found this to case at my child's school, at least in their grade level.

You're not gonna be able to find a school with especially well-behaved kids at this age. That requires too much advance knowledge of admissions, who will or won't accept offers, and how kids turn out vs how they acted at the preschool admissions playdate.

Private schools have plenty of kids with anxiety that manifests in bad behaviors, and ditto ADHD, and they're all seeking the same small and supportive environment for the same reasons you are. "He just needs a smaller class size" is practically the motto of ADHD parents looking at private scchools. A school where your kid is the only one in the class with issues affecting behavior (positively or negatively) is a fantasy.

Consider Primary Day. It was a wonderful place for both my kids (now middle schoolers) and the experience the kids get with performing/speaking in public may be very helpful for your DD. The vibe is lovely, warm and caring.

Anonymous wrote:We did play-based progressive school for our anxious youngster and whilst the anxiety was kept at bay at school, they didn’t learn much at all nor track well versus the rest of the class. We had to ask around to find that out. By 6th grade, it created anxiety due to being behind or in pullouts.

I think the best way to quell anxiety is through confidence, support and skill building. Not by avoiding work, tests or competition.

I wouldn't rule out small progressive schools. My kid had some emotional regulation issues, but the teachers at Springwell (progressive, micro) held compassionate boundaries for building confidence, resilience and making sure my son did his work. He didn't always like it but by the end of the school year we were doing difficult math problems (that he was previously resisting) at bedtime, and above grade level! Can't beat the caring faculty there. Whenever I want to check in, they are there.

Anonymous wrote:This may be an unpopular opinion, but what about GDS? We have a shy, fairly anxious child and everyone vehemently steered us away from GDS saying it was too unstructured etc. But our 6 year old LOVES it. They are very nurturing and honestly I’ve found them to be incredibly structured!!

Another vote for GDS, our anxious 5yo also thrives there. Teachers told us he is a ‘natural leader’. They are very conscious about making feel every kids welcome and do not tolerate bullying.

My non-anxious child is also doing well at River School. Underrated gem of a school

My anxious kid is doing well at the River School. There is a structured daily schedule, and a well-organized classroom routine so they know what to expect. However, as a progressive environment, there's also some unpredictability, so my kid is learning how to cope with surprises.

The low teacher:student ratio means that when my kid is anxious about something, there's almost always an adult available who can take one-on-one time to help with anxiety-mitigating strategies, calm-down techniques, etc.

Anonymous wrote:The River School. My anxious kid loves it. And the non-anxious kid loves it too.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would push back against the idea that you want an unusually well behaved, compliant peer group. I can see how very boisterous would be stressful for her. But it’s actually important for her to see that mistakes aren’t the end of the world and be able to cope with unexpected behavior—and see that everyone else can too. My anxious kid’s therapist was always pointing out that the kid needs to see things “go wrong” and then be fine. That is how she will learn to reassure herself.

We found something similar with our DC. It might not be the easiest path from day one, but I can say at least from our experience that learning how to adjust to new people, make mistakes, and get up after you fall ultimately worked wonders for our anxious DC--who is now far less anxious.

DC was supported, and challenged (ultimately in this good way), at BVR.

My anxious kid is thriving at BVR. Predictable daily schedule, calm learning environment, time spent outdoors.

The River School. My anxious kid loves it. And the non-anxious kid loves it too.

Sheridan or Lowell

Seems like you may be in DC, but my DS is shy and anxious and has done really well at Pinecrest. It is a very small k-6 in Annandale.