Anonymous
Post 11/14/2022 08:11     Subject: Divorce when kids go to college?
We did this. Both spouses work. Both pay college costs. 529 Plan was already in place. There have been no arguments about this whatsoever. And kids say everyone is happier.
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2022 07:18     Subject: Divorce when kids go to college?
I did my parents a favor by choosing a public university in a different country.
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2022 07:00     Subject: Re:Divorce when kids go to college?


It's not a matter of being selfish. If the children have been alienated from the father by the divorced mother, why would he pay for their college?


Because if the child is now in college, it means that child is now over 18 and an adult and no longer living full time with the mother that presumably alienated them, so the loving father that wants a relationship with their child would be interested in demonstrating to his child that he is a supportive father and not a manipulative vindictive jerk who is using money as a tool against the child.

Anonymous
Post 11/14/2022 00:11     Subject: Divorce when kids go to college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Being married or divorced has nothing to do with paying for college


Yes it does. When you're married, you're much more likely to cooperate about how much each parent should be compared to when you're divorced.


That is completely untrue. Most divorced couples do not take their kids college money away if they were ever going to pay for it in the first place. What a ridiculous statement and chances are you don’t know that money divorce people because what you just said is ludicrous. My parents are married and they didn’t pay I am divorced and my kids college is paid for… because we are both paying it because we’re not bad parents.


I am on a number of "paying for college" Facebook groups and I assure you that "my ex is refusing to contribute to paying for college and won't even cooperate in filling out the FAFSA and CSS forms" is a very, very common problem.

"My ex withdrew my kid's 529 money and bought a sports car with it" has been known to happen.

"My ex refuses to pay for college because his new wife thinks he should spend it on her and on her kids" also happens. A lot.


That is because they are jerks. Not because they are divorced.


Getting divorced greatly increases the likelihood of your ex turning into a jerk. Ask me how I know!
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2022 23:48     Subject: Divorce when kids go to college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Being married or divorced has nothing to do with paying for college


Lol, WTF… of course it does.

Selfish is as selfish does


It's not a matter of being selfish. If the children have been alienated from the father by the divorced mother, why would he pay for their college?


Those days are mostly over. 50/50 custody is the norm.
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2022 22:53     Subject: Divorce when kids go to college?
Anonymous wrote:Have you done it? How did it work out? Did spouse help pay for college, or leave it on your DC? I am afraid that spouse - who can more than afford it - will leave DC with their college bill, and not help.


If you are afraid of that, can you stick it out four more years?
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2022 22:41     Subject: Divorce when kids go to college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Being married or divorced has nothing to do with paying for college


Lol, WTF… of course it does.

Selfish is as selfish does


It's not a matter of being selfish. If the children have been alienated from the father by the divorced mother, why would he pay for their college?
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2022 22:20     Subject: Divorce when kids go to college?
Having just sent my kid to college I CANNOT imagine telling him we are getting divorced too. Freshman year is a very fraught time just with the adjustment to all of the newness.

I am already divorced, mind you. They were really young. That is truly the best time.
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2022 22:15     Subject: Divorce when kids go to college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Being married or divorced has nothing to do with paying for college


Yes it does. When you're married, you're much more likely to cooperate about how much each parent should be compared to when you're divorced.


That is completely untrue. Most divorced couples do not take their kids college money away if they were ever going to pay for it in the first place. What a ridiculous statement and chances are you don’t know that money divorce people because what you just said is ludicrous. My parents are married and they didn’t pay I am divorced and my kids college is paid for… because we are both paying it because we’re not bad parents.


I am on a number of "paying for college" Facebook groups and I assure you that "my ex is refusing to contribute to paying for college and won't even cooperate in filling out the FAFSA and CSS forms" is a very, very common problem.

"My ex withdrew my kid's 529 money and bought a sports car with it" has been known to happen.

"My ex refuses to pay for college because his new wife thinks he should spend it on her and on her kids" also happens. A lot.


That is because they are jerks. Not because they are divorced.
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2022 22:11     Subject: Divorce when kids go to college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Being married or divorced has nothing to do with paying for college


Yes it does. When you're married, you're much more likely to cooperate about how much each parent should be compared to when you're divorced.


That is completely untrue. Most divorced couples do not take their kids college money away if they were ever going to pay for it in the first place. What a ridiculous statement and chances are you don’t know that money divorce people because what you just said is ludicrous. My parents are married and they didn’t pay I am divorced and my kids college is paid for… because we are both paying it because we’re not bad parents.


I am on a number of "paying for college" Facebook groups and I assure you that "my ex is refusing to contribute to paying for college and won't even cooperate in filling out the FAFSA and CSS forms" is a very, very common problem.

"My ex withdrew my kid's 529 money and bought a sports car with it" has been known to happen.

"My ex refuses to pay for college because his new wife thinks he should spend it on her and on her kids" also happens. A lot.
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2022 20:53     Subject: Divorce when kids go to college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Being married or divorced has nothing to do with paying for college


Yes it does. When you're married, you're much more likely to cooperate about how much each parent should be compared to when you're divorced.


That is completely untrue. Most divorced couples do not take their kids college money away if they were ever going to pay for it in the first place. What a ridiculous statement and chances are you don’t know that money divorce people because what you just said is ludicrous. My parents are married and they didn’t pay I am divorced and my kids college is paid for… because we are both paying it because we’re not bad parents.
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2022 20:52     Subject: Divorce when kids go to college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Being married or divorced has nothing to do with paying for college


Lol, WTF… of course it does.

Selfish is as selfish does


No it doesn’t. Parents do not have to pay for college. My parents were married and still are and refused to pay and I had to pay their expected family contribution. If someone is divorced they still file the same forms for an expected family contribution. Parents determine whether they pay or not. It has absolutely nothing to do with marital status.
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2022 20:50     Subject: Divorce when kids go to college?
Anonymous wrote:Being married or divorced has nothing to do with paying for college


Lol, WTF… of course it does.

Selfish is as selfish does
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2022 20:06     Subject: Divorce when kids go to college?
Anonymous wrote:If you want to get divorced do it now and just ask your lawyer to put it in the divorce agreement that DH will continue to provide health insurance of equal or greater value than the kid has now, to age 26 or whatever the law is, and will provide funds for tuition plus room and board and meal plans for four years of in state tuition.


I would never sign that agreement.
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2022 19:43     Subject: Divorce when kids go to college?
If you want to get divorced do it now and just ask your lawyer to put it in the divorce agreement that DH will continue to provide health insurance of equal or greater value than the kid has now, to age 26 or whatever the law is, and will provide funds for tuition plus room and board and meal plans for four years of in state tuition.