I am sorry. And I think it is normal to have higher than average expectations on your birthday. Yet, as adults, the world doesn't always cooperate.

Part of your disappointments were introduced by the people you love (mom, husband, kids). All I can say is that I have no parents and my kid is out of the house. I never married. So, I am usually alone on my birthday and would do nothing if I did not organize some treat (such as special meal).

I am not invalidating your feelings, which are understandable, but I envy the fact that you are surrounded by people who love you. I believe that this very draining phase of your life will pass. And hopefully, you can share your feelings with your husband, and he will rearrange the many demands on your plate to spoil you somehow. You are not being a baby. You are being a human who needs some TLC.

Honestly I think you should stop focusing on the one birthday and treat yourself for “being altogether awesome.”

I suggest one day per month of being selfish and putting yourself first.

Happy birthday! I'm so sorry you had to go through all that.

I believe we can celebrate birthdays at any time. While some on this board berate adults for celebrating their birthday, I see as a way to gather people I love and adore together. I want to cook for them and get everyone together for a fun time. Maybe that's something you can consider doing even if it happens in a few months or next year.

Sending you hugs.

So sorry to hear this. I hope you find time soon to celebrate by doing something for you that you enjoy. Dealing with aging parents is very hard.