He’s basically saying if he dies you wouldn’t be able to pay the mortgage, because he plans to leave you with nothing. Believe people when they tell you who they are. You need to start making enough to pay a mortgage, ASAP. And I promise I’m not some anti SAHM troll. I also mostly SAH/work part time. But you are in a precarious situation, and it does you no good to just admire how unfair and precarious it really is, or explain in more detail why he should do things differently. You need to change the situation yourself.

Anonymous wrote:I guess I’m the lone dissenter but I think he sounds like a jerk. My spouse put me on everything even though she made twice as much money as me and would be paying more towards it. We couldn’t get married legally until 2013 ( gay marriage) you need to have a serious conversation with him, if gd won’t get married or put you on the title you need to consider your next steps. Either stay and be ok with it, or leave..

He's a jerk. He should be taking steps to protect the mother of his youngest child and to protect his older children. He should be balancing it out.

Huge red flag. You need to start building financial independence. You've sacrificed a good employment history and salary to parent your shared child and he has...treated you like a casual girlfriend, financially speaking.

OP, by not marrying you or putting the property in both your names, he is essentially saying he is not concerned about providing for the future of your shared child nor your children who have had him as a father figure for most of their lives. I am assuming he has not drafted a will to provide for your child(ren). For these 7+ years you have not had property in your name and I wonder whether the bills and car are all in his name, too.

You really need to see a lawyer. Inheritance rules for spouses in different states. Many states allow a spouse to take against a will; some states make the spouse's share 50% regardless of what a will says. Some states protect a spouse's right to remain in a marital home, regardless of whether their name is on the home. See a lawyer.

A fiancé "of many years" is a boyfriend. You should know this by 50

Run!

Anyone remember that woman with a prenup, who babysat her step grand baby a lot, and posted non stop about her car title and the other assets her husband kept out of her reach? OP is making a strong case for being the next that lady.

So he proposed because you were pregnant but had no plan to marry you.

Anonymous wrote:As long as you have not signed a prenuptial, then if something happens to him, you are the heir to his estate as his wife. Unless he writes a will that excludes you as well.

They’re not married. I guess reading is hard.

You say he is likely to leave the house to his kids – means all of his children - his kids before you AND the kid you have together. I think this is how it should be, since you are not currently his wife.

For example, if he had 2 kids from a previous relationship and you and he have 1 kid together, then his estate should be divided into thirds, which is fair. Any other kids you have that are not his are not entitled to his inheritance.

Anonymous wrote:Fiancé of many years?

OP here.

I’m 48 soon to be 49. Our youngest is 7. We’ve been engaged 7 1/2 years. I have a 12 year old and a 15 year old. His two older children are 27 and 25.

I guess I’m the lone dissenter but I think he sounds like a jerk. My spouse put me on everything even though she made twice as much money as me and would be paying more towards it. We couldn’t get married legally until 2013 ( gay marriage) you need to have a serious conversation with him, if gd won’t get married or put you on the title you need to consider your next steps. Either stay and be ok with it, or leave..

Well you don't work and you arent married, so you have no power. Are you disabled? Is your kid special needs?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fiancé of many years is buying a house (second home). He refuses to put me on the title and says it’s because I can’t pay the mortgage (I’m a stay at home mom and work part time). I’m not on the title of the house we reside in currently either. I guess if something happens to him, his older kids (he was married once before) will inherit the houses and I’ll be left with nothing. What happens in this situation? I am almost 50 and he’s five years older. I’m not money hungry but am very concerned that I won’t have a place to live with my kids (one of which is his) if something happens to him.

This... is what should happen.

When you're married, things may change.

But relying on your fiance/boyfriend to be your safety net, when he has kids of his own... is pretty selfish of you.

Boy the woman haters are out in force today. Selfish of HER? As a SAHM, presumably to his kids, and working, she IS contributing. He should be ashamed of himself for being a selfish a--hat.

OP- huge red flag. See a lawyer and/or get married. Or leave him. It's fine for him to care for his kids and leave them something but he clearly doesn't care about you.
Seriously.

She is not a SAHM as she is working part-time. She made a huge mistake having a kid outside of marriage as then how does she get health insurance and other benefits. She should get a full time job as she cannot rely on him and file for child support.

Anonymous wrote:He's absolutely right. Get a job and buy your own house.

And, file for child support.