Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just had a bunch of cousins together recently. Ages were 2, 6, 9, 13 and 17. I was very impressed the two oldest girls never took out their phones once in five hours. The oldest three brought toy cars and magna-tiles, which helped break the ice, but mostly they were rolling around on the floor and doing quasi yoga poses and gymnastics, or sitting on the couch reading books.

OP here. My daughter can play with them great for a few hours or a day visit. It’s the weeklong stay that I’m worried about!

She doesn’t need to play with them nonstop. She can also bond with other relatives who are adults, do errands with you, read, etc.

My in-laws get upset when she doesn’t play with them nonstop and takes a break to read, watch some videos, etc. They tell her that she only sees them a few times a year and so should play with them and that she can read when she’s alone our home!

Then you are going to have to stand up to them and ensure that your daughter gets a break.

They don’t even let her call her friends on her phone. They say it’s ‘family time’ now and to save friends for later. Ugh

Anonymous wrote:I wish we could do broadgames but the cousins lack the attention span to really participate.

Try simpler board games? They should be able play and enjoy go fish, crazy eights, sorry, checkers, that kind of thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just had a bunch of cousins together recently. Ages were 2, 6, 9, 13 and 17. I was very impressed the two oldest girls never took out their phones once in five hours. The oldest three brought toy cars and magna-tiles, which helped break the ice, but mostly they were rolling around on the floor and doing quasi yoga poses and gymnastics, or sitting on the couch reading books.

OP here. My daughter can play with them great for a few hours or a day visit. It’s the weeklong stay that I’m worried about!

She doesn’t need to play with them nonstop. She can also bond with other relatives who are adults, do errands with you, read, etc.

My in-laws get upset when she doesn’t play with them nonstop and takes a break to read, watch some videos, etc. They tell her that she only sees them a few times a year and so should play with them and that she can read when she’s alone our home!

Then you are going to have to stand up to them and ensure that your daughter gets a break.

I wish we could do broadgames but the cousins lack the attention span to really participate.

Anonymous wrote:My youngest cousin is 38 years younger than I am, so it doesn’t seem to me that your kids have that big of a cousin age gap.

There are lots of things that 13 year olds can do with younger cousins. Decorate gingerbread houses. Puzzles. Drawing or art activities that allow for different results based on skills. Hikes.

They all love hiking and doing puzzles so I’ll definitely suggest those activities. Gingerbread houses sound too messy. My daughter is not into art but her younger cousins are so that’s a no go.

My youngest cousin is 38 years younger than I am, so it doesn’t seem to me that your kids have that big of a cousin age gap.

There are lots of things that 13 year olds can do with younger cousins. Decorate gingerbread houses. Puzzles. Drawing or art activities that allow for different results based on skills. Hikes.

Anonymous wrote:something to be aware of in the future
others read this thread, also

It has nothing to do with this thread. Make a new one if you’re so pressed by it.

something to be aware of in the future
others read this thread, also

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'll just say this. Your daughter will have a lot of "firsts" that will be celebrated. When the younger ones get to the same age, the same stage, the wider-family enthusiasm for the same events will be a lot less. That is what I see with a larger age gap w/cousins - much less attendance and attention by family.

As the youngest and second youngest cousin on both sides, I agree, but I don’t see what this has to do with op’s post.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just had a bunch of cousins together recently. Ages were 2, 6, 9, 13 and 17. I was very impressed the two oldest girls never took out their phones once in five hours. The oldest three brought toy cars and magna-tiles, which helped break the ice, but mostly they were rolling around on the floor and doing quasi yoga poses and gymnastics, or sitting on the couch reading books.

OP here. My daughter can play with them great for a few hours or a day visit. It’s the weeklong stay that I’m worried about!

She doesn’t need to play with them nonstop. She can also bond with other relatives who are adults, do errands with you, read, etc.

My in-laws get upset when she doesn’t play with them nonstop and takes a break to read, watch some videos, etc. They tell her that she only sees them a few times a year and so should play with them and that she can read when she’s alone our home!

Tell them they’re out of line. It’s not your daughter’s job to entertain her cousins.

You need to help your daughter use her words. “Okay-how about we play two board games and maybe hide and go seek and after that I am going to read for a while.” Some kids like lots of younger cousin time/babysitting and some don’t and both are fine (as long as the elder cousin is polite and extends the normal patience older kids owe to younger ones.) Lots of people assume girls love to babysit and expect more of them than they would if boys so keep an eye out for that.

and it's sad
pp again

OP, I'll just say this. Your daughter will have a lot of "firsts" that will be celebrated. When the younger ones get to the same age, the same stage, the wider-family enthusiasm for the same events will be a lot less. That is what I see with a larger age gap w/cousins - much less attendance and attention by family.

My 11 YO DD is the big cousin and it is hard. She is an introvert and has not been into imaginative play for awhile now. She loves her little cousins but she definitely needs breaks. And they love her and want to play with her constantly I think some of the suggestions you’ve gotten are really good. It isn’t as easy as some of the PPs are making it out to be.

There are some great suggestions above. I'd also plan some activities that everyone can do together. Active things like hiking, ice skating, frisbee golf, a sport if they all like it, etc.
Or art/crafty activities where they can all be using the same materials but making their own thing at their own level like painting, beads/jewelry. Or cooking something together.
Use their preferences and interests but have some plans (and materials if needed) in your pocket to use throughout the week if needed.