Leave the DC area. It’s toxic. Normal life in normie America is so much more pleasant.

Go to centerville fool

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are like that everywhere and not just in the DC area. The obsessive “researching” on baby and young toddler stuff is a function of anxiety and access to too much information on the internet and social media. The stuff for slightly older but still young kids - the when did they learn to read, when did they start soccer or a sport, when did they learn to ride a bike, play an instrument, etc. - is an annoying attitude but ultimately insignificant, because kids do most of those things eventually at their own pace. I’m VERY laid back and find myself in the minority about it so I definitely get it. I just had to adjust my own attitude and ways of thinking about it. Now I just feel a little sorry for those other parents for being so high strung and wasting so much time and energy worrying!

OP here, and I get this. I just think the balance of intense parents to laid back parents on the Hill is wrong for us. And I also think it didn't used to be this way! Before we had kids, one reason we were drawn to the Hill is that it seemed pretty laid back. But I think as the average home prices went up and as the schools became more desirable, demographics shifted a bit. A lot of our old friends who were kind of laid back hippy types have left (for Hyattsville, Howard County, or outside the DMV altogether). The newer people are wealthier and more intense and we are now distinctly in the minority. Just looking for a vibe that swings our way a bit more, even though I know there are intense parents all over these days.

Probably not what you want to hear then but my friends who are more laid back all live in Prince William County in VA. Lol.

Even then there’s some weirdness. Like, they’re super relaxed about school, kids work at their own pace and have plenty of down time/aren’t over scheduled at all, don’t really do sports, but then there’s rigidity about the types of toys the kids are allowed to have (lots of sad beige!) and uptightness about screen time and video games, even family stuff without an Internet connection like Mario Kart. Idk I’d rather obsess over my 7 year old’s reading levels than have some parent give me a blank stare when I mention he got Mario Golf for Switch for his birthday.

You don’t need to move, you just need to opt out or socialize with different people. They’re there. We know people like you describe and we don’t pursue friendship. I mean I’m polite but no I don’t want to compare kids or answer questions about their reading levels. My kids do really well in some stuff but I’m not out there bragging. They also do poorly in some areas and we work on that if we feel it needs addressing. We are probably less chill than moist if our friends with same age kids, in fact. All of our friends’ kids do activities but they’re all different and not competitive. My son takes ice skating lessons because he wants to. He has no ambitions toward hockey or figure skating. Etc.

We are in Bethesda.

Parenting as a competitive sport is a pretty often discussed recent development. Not sure if its social media or what. But parents of 30+ years ago of all income levels just didn't have the same expectations placed upon them. "Be home by dark" used to be a common and totally acceptable parenting method.

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you want to stay in the city, you'll find like-minded people in Eckington, Edgewood, Brookland, Woodridge, Takoma, Michigan Park, etc. Really anywhere that the baseline housing price is <$1M and the (DCPS) schools are just ok.

Capitol Hill is a spot that attracts an unusual number of striver/competitive parents because so many people are in or adjacent to politics and are used to gaming out every aspect of their work life. And then the machinations translate to home life as well.

(I live in DC, not in Capitol Hill. But I have friends who live on the Hill and when I socialize with them/their friends, it's like entering a weird semi-parallel one-upsmanship parenting universe.)

OP here. This mostly coincides with my general impression but it's good to have it confirmed. I think we're priced out of Brookland and possibly also Edgewood but we'll see. I think prices are coming down a smidge due to interest rates but it's also cutting into our buying power. We're not opposed to a condo as long as it had enough room for a family of 4, so that gives us some options.

It's funny because when we first moved to the Hill a long time ago, it really wasn't a ton of high powered political people. It wasn't considered a terribly desirable neighborhood and the schools were considered to mostly be bad except for Brent (which is not our IB). We had neighbors who worked on the Hill but were younger and not well compensated. I don't remember a lot of lobbyists or lawyers either -- lots of feds in career positions (not political) and lots of non-profit types. It doesn't feel that way anymore, and even the feds and non-profit folks we know have become more intense about parenting.

Try Woodridge or Mt. Ranier.

I will say, though, that there is a school quality tradeoff. Those neurotic parents really push for good schools. Do you want a school where all the parents are chill and not insisting on quality?

You really have to run your own race, it's hard to avoid entirely.
I noticed it was particularly bad in special programs in MoCo - gifted centers, magnet programs, IB, etc. Lots of anxious parents and anxious kids.
Just remember the anxious ones are more noticeable - more likely to talk about these issues or post to the list serves. The low key ones are not out there announcing how low key they are.

Anonymous wrote:People are like that everywhere and not just in the DC area. The obsessive “researching” on baby and young toddler stuff is a function of anxiety and access to too much information on the internet and social media. The stuff for slightly older but still young kids - the when did they learn to read, when did they start soccer or a sport, when did they learn to ride a bike, play an instrument, etc. - is an annoying attitude but ultimately insignificant, because kids do most of those things eventually at their own pace. I’m VERY laid back and find myself in the minority about it so I definitely get it. I just had to adjust my own attitude and ways of thinking about it. Now I just feel a little sorry for those other parents for being so high strung and wasting so much time and energy worrying!

OP here, and I get this. I just think the balance of intense parents to laid back parents on the Hill is wrong for us. And I also think it didn't used to be this way! Before we had kids, one reason we were drawn to the Hill is that it seemed pretty laid back. But I think as the average home prices went up and as the schools became more desirable, demographics shifted a bit. A lot of our old friends who were kind of laid back hippy types have left (for Hyattsville, Howard County, or outside the DMV altogether). The newer people are wealthier and more intense and we are now distinctly in the minority. Just looking for a vibe that swings our way a bit more, even though I know there are intense parents all over these days.

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you want to stay in the city, you'll find like-minded people in Eckington, Edgewood, Brookland, Woodridge, Takoma, Michigan Park, etc. Really anywhere that the baseline housing price is <$1M and the (DCPS) schools are just ok.

Capitol Hill is a spot that attracts an unusual number of striver/competitive parents because so many people are in or adjacent to politics and are used to gaming out every aspect of their work life. And then the machinations translate to home life as well.

(I live in DC, not in Capitol Hill. But I have friends who live on the Hill and when I socialize with them/their friends, it's like entering a weird semi-parallel one-upsmanship parenting universe.)

OH, and I'll add that in my experience, the striver stuff is also pretty bad in wealthy-ish suburbs - anywhere people move for "the schools."

People are like that everywhere and not just in the DC area. The obsessive “researching” on baby and young toddler stuff is a function of anxiety and access to too much information on the internet and social media. The stuff for slightly older but still young kids - the when did they learn to read, when did they start soccer or a sport, when did they learn to ride a bike, play an instrument, etc. - is an annoying attitude but ultimately insignificant, because kids do most of those things eventually at their own pace. I’m VERY laid back and find myself in the minority about it so I definitely get it. I just had to adjust my own attitude and ways of thinking about it. Now I just feel a little sorry for those other parents for being so high strung and wasting so much time and energy worrying!

OP, if you want to stay in the city, you'll find like-minded people in Eckington, Edgewood, Brookland, Woodridge, Takoma, Michigan Park, etc. Really anywhere that the baseline housing price is <$1M and the (DCPS) schools are just ok.

Capitol Hill is a spot that attracts an unusual number of striver/competitive parents because so many people are in or adjacent to politics and are used to gaming out every aspect of their work life. And then the machinations translate to home life as well.

(I live in DC, not in Capitol Hill. But I have friends who live on the Hill and when I socialize with them/their friends, it's like entering a weird semi-parallel one-upsmanship parenting universe.)

Anonymous wrote:We live in the city in an apartment and I find apartment families to be more flexible about decisions than homeowner parents.

What neighborhood? I know apartment families on the Hill but they seem as intense at people in row houses.

We live in the city in an apartment and I find apartment families to be more flexible about decisions than homeowner parents.

Anonymous wrote:South Arlington.

(I don't recommend the schools though!)