Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can do it. You just need to put all systems in place where if PPD creeps in again, you can just jump right in to your safety net. Friends and family for babysitting, doctor with prescription ready, a therapist you like, household tasks outsourced, good dynamic between you and DH.

You can’t control for sleep. Sleep deprivation is a major cause of PPD and perinatal mood disorders. You can do things to stack the deck in your favor but st the end of the day you cannot force an infant, toddler or child to sleep and some kids are just terrible sleepers even if you do all
The right “things.” Are you ok taking that gamble?

You can formula feed so your partner takes care of some overnights and/or hire overnight help a few days per week. This combo worked well for me. Obviously being able to hire help is a privilege but it does address the lack of sleep.

This. The idea that only you and your boobs can deal with an infant is false.

Yes but sometimes women end up with a husband or partner who pressures them to nurse or doesn’t want to get up in the night because the wife stays at home and they are the one working outside the home, or a baby who only wants mom, or a baby with colic, or a baby with allergies who can’t use formula, etc.And some kids just are terrible sleepers. Sometimes children with special needs or autism (something you don’t always know about in advance) can wake multiple times a night. And yes, you can do things to stack the deck in your favor for an easier postpartum time with lots of sleep but there are no guarantees. For example, I ended up with postpartum PTSD from an unexpectedly traumatic birth and had difficulty sleeping at night because of flashbacks. Then I had a child with an unexpected health condition who woke multiple times at night. And we couldn’t sleep train because we were in an apartment and had multiple noise complaints from neighbors with our baby screaming. Each baby is a gamble. You can’t plan for everything. Sometimes you just don’t get the sleep you need as a parent and you have to deal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can do it. You just need to put all systems in place where if PPD creeps in again, you can just jump right in to your safety net. Friends and family for babysitting, doctor with prescription ready, a therapist you like, household tasks outsourced, good dynamic between you and DH.

You can’t control for sleep. Sleep deprivation is a major cause of PPD and perinatal mood disorders. You can do things to stack the deck in your favor but st the end of the day you cannot force an infant, toddler or child to sleep and some kids are just terrible sleepers even if you do all
The right “things.” Are you ok taking that gamble?

You can formula feed so your partner takes care of some overnights and/or hire overnight help a few days per week. This combo worked well for me. Obviously being able to hire help is a privilege but it does address the lack of sleep.

This. The idea that only you and your boobs can deal with an infant is false.

Yes but sadly a lot of UMC white women are pressured to drive themselves crazy breastfeeding.

I did and I decided to formula feed my next baby. Made a huge difference for me. I am now angry that I breastfed my first as I can see how much worse it made my situation. I get that some women enjoy breastfeeding, but there is no denying that only the mom can breastfeed. It means you’re taking on 100% to the burden of feeding the baby. I found formula to be freedom. There’s a reason there are support groups for breastfeeding. FF this baby has allowed me to enjoy the baby and also leave for the day without needing to pump.

I had debilitating anxiety after both of my first two. #2 was an oops (I always wanted three kids but was terrified to feel that way again and was not ready to go back)….I ended up on Zoloft for a year after #2.
When the dust settled and I found myself where you are, I saw a reproductive psychiatrist, Which was life changing. After going over my history of anxiety symptoms/timing she told me that unfortunately it *would* happen again without intervention. It was triggered by times of unopposed progesterone-even happened in early pregnancy when the placenta was still forming. .
I decided to go on Zoloft at 35 weeks. When I asked if this would lessen the anxiety, the psychiatrist told me it should prevent it from happening.
I’m happy to say I didn’t experience one minute of post partum anxiety.

I feel so lucky because I truly enjoyed every second of my post partum year with my third. It was such a gift and I tell everyone because I would never have known it could be that way. Im so thankful for the experience.
Of course this was specific to my physiologic response and YMMV, but I highly suggest spending the money on a reproductive psychiatrist, if at all possible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can do it. You just need to put all systems in place where if PPD creeps in again, you can just jump right in to your safety net. Friends and family for babysitting, doctor with prescription ready, a therapist you like, household tasks outsourced, good dynamic between you and DH.

You can’t control for sleep. Sleep deprivation is a major cause of PPD and perinatal mood disorders. You can do things to stack the deck in your favor but st the end of the day you cannot force an infant, toddler or child to sleep and some kids are just terrible sleepers even if you do all
The right “things.” Are you ok taking that gamble?

You can formula feed so your partner takes care of some overnights and/or hire overnight help a few days per week. This combo worked well for me. Obviously being able to hire help is a privilege but it does address the lack of sleep.

This. The idea that only you and your boobs can deal with an infant is false.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can do it. You just need to put all systems in place where if PPD creeps in again, you can just jump right in to your safety net. Friends and family for babysitting, doctor with prescription ready, a therapist you like, household tasks outsourced, good dynamic between you and DH.

You can’t control for sleep. Sleep deprivation is a major cause of PPD and perinatal mood disorders. You can do things to stack the deck in your favor but st the end of the day you cannot force an infant, toddler or child to sleep and some kids are just terrible sleepers even if you do all
The right “things.” Are you ok taking that gamble?

You can formula feed so your partner takes care of some overnights and/or hire overnight help a few days per week. This combo worked well for me. Obviously being able to hire help is a privilege but it does address the lack of sleep.

I'm not sure if I actually had PPD after my first - never diagnosed - but at a minimum I had serious "baby blues," cried a ton, felt very hopeless/sad/overwhelmed for the first 3ish months.

I did not have any of the same feelings with my second.

I had PPD/A after my first. I started seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist (recommended by my OB and part of their team) while I was pregnant with DC2. It helped that I had 2 appointments with the psychiatrist before birth and one scheduled for 2 weeks after my due date so it was on the calendar and I didn’t have to think about it. I also had done all the intake and getting to know you before baby was born. Same with the therapist, who specialized in PPD. There’s a certification but I can’t recall what it is called. Anyway she really helped me work through some pre-birth anxiety and come up with some options in advance for handling potentially tricky situations. And she provided a lot of support after baby was born, during maternity leave.

But truly what helped me was finding the right medication, and figuring out how to sleep in 5 hour stretches, which didn’t happen for a few months.

Anonymous wrote:You can do it. You just need to put all systems in place where if PPD creeps in again, you can just jump right in to your safety net. Friends and family for babysitting, doctor with prescription ready, a therapist you like, household tasks outsourced, good dynamic between you and DH.

You can’t control for sleep. Sleep deprivation is a major cause of PPD and perinatal mood disorders. You can do things to stack the deck in your favor but st the end of the day you cannot force an infant, toddler or child to sleep and some kids are just terrible sleepers even if you do all
The right “things.” Are you ok taking that gamble?

I wouldn't, OP. I didn't have PPD but had a horrible adjustment experience postpartum that coincided with pandemic lockdowns and some life-changing family stress.

Anonymous wrote:I had PPD (debilitating anxiety) after my first. Was fine after my second. You never know.

As for planning for what to do (re read your OP), I believe for me a major trigger was lack of sleep. In my regular life, I spiral into being really anxious when I'm not sleeping and then when I'm anxious I can't sleep. With my first, I genuinely just did not sleep for months and months. It was horrible. I also really hated breastfeeding but felt obligated to keep going at all costs.

So a couple things I did differently. I kept my nanny during maternity leave so I had another adult around. This allowed me to get out of the house and do some activities with my older child which helped me a lot. With my first I felt very isolated and both that I couldn't go anywhere and then at the same time terrified to go anywhere. And I am an extrovert. I told myself that if I was getting as sleep deprived as I'd been, I'd make better decisions about getting out of the hole. This might mean formula. I basically let myself off the hook with the breastfeeding pressure before the baby was even born and even just that release helped a ton.

I had PPD (debilitating anxiety) after my first. Was fine after my second. You never know.

You can do it. You just need to put all systems in place where if PPD creeps in again, you can just jump right in to your safety net. Friends and family for babysitting, doctor with prescription ready, a therapist you like, household tasks outsourced, good dynamic between you and DH.

I had bad PPD after my first and was pretty depressed during my second pregnancy too. I was ready for it to be terrible post partum and got a prescription for Zoloft all lined up etc. instead I was borderline euphoric as soon as my second was born. A real shock! Wishing you similar joy if you move forward with a third.

Anonymous wrote:After a serious case of PPD after the birth of DC1, I had my second placenta encapsulated and consumed it in a daily pill.

The placenta contains very high amounts of iron and progesterone. I was severely anemic after the birth of DC2, so iron helped with that. Progesterone plummets vertiginously after birth and is suspected to trigger PPD in mothers who are predisposed, so we thought it would stave off PPD to consume dried placenta.

I did not develop PPD after DC2.

You can’t do this if you receive antibiotics in labor for B strep or otherwise - otherwise you’ll be eating antibiotics.