Anonymous
Post 11/04/2022 17:42     Subject: Establishing lifetime trust accounts for young adult children
Anonymous wrote:You have $25 million dollars and you don't want your kids to ask you for help buying a house or a car?

Wow. My dad inspected boilers for a living and my folks never had more than $600K in savings/investments, but they still gave me $15K the first (and only) time I bought a house, with my husband.

What is wrong with rich people?


In my experience, it’s not that they don’t want to give their kids money, it’s that they’re worried about how giving or not giving the money will help or discourage a list of things they want their kids to do as adults. They’re often more generous if their kids don’t “need” it or they might structure the whole thing as sort of “bonuses” for graduating, marrying, having kids etc. I don’t condone that I’m just saying it’s not stinginess, it’s being controlling.
Anonymous
Post 11/04/2022 17:39     Subject: Re:Establishing lifetime trust accounts for young adult children
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There are worse things that can happen to your kids than “never establishing a career.” As long as they’re doing something meaningful to them and have enough money, does it matter? A lot of careers kind of suck.


I don't know, a lot of the people I know who never established themselves and got parental subsidies aren't really happy loafing around now that they are in their 40s and 50s. And the men are still single because women don't really want to marry someone like that. I knew some of these people growing up and I never would have guessed they would going to end up like this. I have my will set up to not give my kids money until 30 if I die. Honestly I would set it at 35 except that seems like a lot for an executor. If I am alive I would give my kids money in their 20s for specific reasons (med school, down payment) but I would not just give them money for nothing.


+1 the wealthiest trust finder I know is in their 40s and he and his wife seem rudderless outside their kids activities.


A lot of people are unhappy in their 40’s though. It’s not as if only trustfunders are getting divorced, hating their jobs or having other crises.
Anonymous
Post 11/04/2022 17:37     Subject: Re:Establishing lifetime trust accounts for young adult children
Anonymous wrote:we have about half of OPs $$$. But we prefer to pay downpayment, business seed money, and car, rather than just $5,000 per month or whatever which can just get pissed away on daily expanses. We make sure each kid gets at least $30k annually (into Roth accounts if kid does not otherwise have a big expenditure that year). So far the young adults are high achievers and seem to take nothing for granted. Oh, we also invite them on our really nice vacations 1-3 times a year. If they can make it, we pay all expenses.


But there are tax advantages of doing it through an income trust and not cash flowing it, right?
Anonymous
Post 11/04/2022 17:35     Subject: Establishing lifetime trust accounts for young adult children
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You have $25 million dollars and you don't want your kids to ask you for help buying a house or a car?

Wow. My dad inspected boilers for a living and my folks never had more than $600K in savings/investments, but they still gave me $15K the first (and only) time I bought a house, with my husband.

What is wrong with rich people?


And you took $15k from your working class parents instead of paying for your own damn house?

What is wrong with YOU?


Ha
Anonymous
Post 11/04/2022 17:32     Subject: Re:Establishing lifetime trust accounts for young adult children
Anonymous wrote:There are worse things that can happen to your kids than “never establishing a career.” As long as they’re doing something meaningful to them and have enough money, does it matter? A lot of careers kind of suck.


💯
Anonymous
Post 11/04/2022 17:08     Subject: Establishing lifetime trust accounts for young adult children
I wouldn’t start the distributions before age 25 or 30. I was a very mature, responsible kid. Went to an Ivy League law school. Am smart. Got a good job. Aaaaaand paid off my fiancé’s student loans with the distributions my dad gave me. And then two years later my fiancé (by then husband) had an affair and left me. I feel like I would have made better choices if I had been a bit older.
Anonymous
Post 11/04/2022 16:40     Subject: Establishing lifetime trust accounts for young adult children
Anonymous wrote:You have $25 million dollars and you don't want your kids to ask you for help buying a house or a car?

Wow. My dad inspected boilers for a living and my folks never had more than $600K in savings/investments, but they still gave me $15K the first (and only) time I bought a house, with my husband.

What is wrong with rich people?


And you took $15k from your working class parents instead of paying for your own damn house?

What is wrong with YOU?
Anonymous
Post 11/04/2022 16:17     Subject: Establishing lifetime trust accounts for young adult children
Our children are young adults and each has a trust managed by a bank trustee. They have to provide a financial statement along with any request for funds. Trust pays out for HEMS - Health, Education, Maintenance and Support. "Maintenance" can mean a lot of things. But it's a good framework for thinking through their requests.

DH also has a trust that pays a monthly amount.
Anonymous
Post 11/04/2022 15:53     Subject: Re:Establishing lifetime trust accounts for young adult children
I think 25 make more sense but that is me.

I've seen it the way you describe, monthly payments and that has not been great from my limited view.

I have seen that there are fund that are distributed for certain thing... housing, school, education (other than school), health, etc. These things will be paid for out of the trust but not other things, credit card/drugs/gambling/etc
Anonymous
Post 11/04/2022 15:45     Subject: Re:Establishing lifetime trust accounts for young adult children
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There are worse things that can happen to your kids than “never establishing a career.” As long as they’re doing something meaningful to them and have enough money, does it matter? A lot of careers kind of suck.


I don't know, a lot of the people I know who never established themselves and got parental subsidies aren't really happy loafing around now that they are in their 40s and 50s. And the men are still single because women don't really want to marry someone like that. I knew some of these people growing up and I never would have guessed they would going to end up like this. I have my will set up to not give my kids money until 30 if I die. Honestly I would set it at 35 except that seems like a lot for an executor. If I am alive I would give my kids money in their 20s for specific reasons (med school, down payment) but I would not just give them money for nothing.


+1 the wealthiest trust finder I know is in their 40s and he and his wife seem rudderless outside their kids activities.
Anonymous
Post 11/04/2022 15:42     Subject: Establishing lifetime trust accounts for young adult children
Anonymous wrote:The people I know who got money young never established any kind of career. The amount you are considering giving is more than many first jobs pay.


+1 I think op is envisioning their kids becoming passionate social workers/artists/teachers. In reality, that much money means they could passionately play video games as a ‘job’ and pay their bills. I live across the street from a professional gamer who makes $7,000 a year.
Anonymous
Post 11/04/2022 15:41     Subject: Establishing lifetime trust accounts for young adult children
You have $25 million dollars and you don't want your kids to ask you for help buying a house or a car?

Wow. My dad inspected boilers for a living and my folks never had more than $600K in savings/investments, but they still gave me $15K the first (and only) time I bought a house, with my husband.

What is wrong with rich people?
Anonymous
Post 11/04/2022 15:35     Subject: Re:Establishing lifetime trust accounts for young adult children
Anonymous wrote:There are worse things that can happen to your kids than “never establishing a career.” As long as they’re doing something meaningful to them and have enough money, does it matter? A lot of careers kind of suck.


I don't know, a lot of the people I know who never established themselves and got parental subsidies aren't really happy loafing around now that they are in their 40s and 50s. And the men are still single because women don't really want to marry someone like that. I knew some of these people growing up and I never would have guessed they would going to end up like this. I have my will set up to not give my kids money until 30 if I die. Honestly I would set it at 35 except that seems like a lot for an executor. If I am alive I would give my kids money in their 20s for specific reasons (med school, down payment) but I would not just give them money for nothing.
Anonymous
Post 11/04/2022 15:34     Subject: Re:Establishing lifetime trust accounts for young adult children
we have about half of OPs $$$. But we prefer to pay downpayment, business seed money, and car, rather than just $5,000 per month or whatever which can just get pissed away on daily expanses. We make sure each kid gets at least $30k annually (into Roth accounts if kid does not otherwise have a big expenditure that year). So far the young adults are high achievers and seem to take nothing for granted. Oh, we also invite them on our really nice vacations 1-3 times a year. If they can make it, we pay all expenses.
Anonymous
Post 11/04/2022 15:34     Subject: Establishing lifetime trust accounts for young adult children
I think it's interesting that giving your kid $5k/month for life is framed as something to promote independence/managing their "own" money/standing on their own 2 feet.

I'm just a poor I guess.