Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't say anything. They have no right to private medical information about your kid. The only time this might make sense is if there is some kind of potential for law enforcement to be involved if there is a giant meltdown. But generally for a 6 year old, a meltdown is not going to be mistaken for dangerous aggression.

I have a kid with Autism and to me it is isn't a private medical condition. It is just a fact and could help others understand. Would you hide that fact that your kid is blind if they bump into you? No. Autism is just one part of your dd's and isn't the whole part of her.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't say anything. They have no right to private medical information about your kid. The only time this might make sense is if there is some kind of potential for law enforcement to be involved if there is a giant meltdown. But generally for a 6 year old, a meltdown is not going to be mistaken for dangerous aggression.

Anonymous wrote:DD is 6 and often says rude things to adults who she perceived as breaking the rules. Or sometimes she corrects adults (strangers) who she thinks are getting facts wrong. For example, if we are at a museum and she overhears a stranger saying something about an exhibit that she knows is incorrect, she will beeline over to them and correct them. Often people look puzzled but let it go. Sometimes, though, people get super offended and angry. They don’t know she has autism. They think she is being sassy/bossy/smart-alecky/back-talking. I don’t like telling an angry stranger, “She has autism.” I think I’m concerned that their reaction will color how she sees her autism, and their reaction is unlikely to be good at that moment! They are already angry! But I want to be able to say SOMETHING to let them know she is not disrespecting them; this is just how her brain works. Do you have a phrase you use in situations like that?

Anonymous wrote:Does your daughter know that she is breaking rules by being rude and interrupting strangers? Correct her behavior too.

Anonymous wrote:A little off-topic - but I am finding that Astrid et Raphaelle on Amazon Prime/Masterpiece Theater is a wonderful show that goes to great lengths to explain how difficult it is for those living with autism to live in a neurotypical world. It's not sensationalized and it presents from many different points of view - all within the confines of a typical police procedural (with subtitles). I highly, highly recommend to anyone who has individuals living with autism in their lives. It just gets better as the season goes on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is 6 and often says rude things to adults who she perceived as breaking the rules. Or sometimes she corrects adults (strangers) who she thinks are getting facts wrong. For example, if we are at a museum and she overhears a stranger saying something about an exhibit that she knows is incorrect, she will beeline over to them and correct them. Often people look puzzled but let it go. Sometimes, though, people get super offended and angry. They don’t know she has autism. They think she is being sassy/bossy/smart-alecky/back-talking. I don’t like telling an angry stranger, “She has autism.” I think I’m concerned that their reaction will color how she sees her autism, and their reaction is unlikely to be good at that moment! They are already angry! But I want to be able to say SOMETHING to let them know she is not disrespecting them; this is just how her brain works. Do you have a phrase you use in situations like that?

Why aren't you stopping her from beelining over to an adult to speak to them and correct them? The issue here is not the ASD but that you are not helping her to understand that her behaviour is inappropriate. ASD is not an excuse for this, it's a reason for it and you have to help her learn appropriate ways to interact with people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Six is too young to get this, but when your dd is older, you’ll need to coach her on thinking before she speaks, because she can follow her impulse never to let other people’s mistakes go or she can have friends, but she can’t have both.

No, six is absolutely old enough to learn not to talk to strangers like this. It's not about the content of what she's saying, but that she's interrupting/disturbing strangers. We don't do our kids with autism ANY favors if we let them engage in this kind of boundary crossing in public with strangers. As they get older the consequences get higher and possibly dangerous. Things that are cute when a toddler does it (like unsolicited hug) become assaults when a big tween does it.

It's a lesson to be taught but since generally children with ASD/ADHD are several years less mature than NT kids, they probably won't learn it as soon as you want them to.

I'm not sure why you think this. They can be taught not to do it if you make it into a goal and implement it in the right way. Maybe OP is describing something that is a rare event, in which case, not a big deal. But if a kid is routinely acting in an unxpected way towards strangers in public, this needs to be addressed.

At what age did your impulsive ASBD child master this skill, pp?

Anonymous wrote:DD is 6 and often says rude things to adults who she perceived as breaking the rules. Or sometimes she corrects adults (strangers) who she thinks are getting facts wrong. For example, if we are at a museum and she overhears a stranger saying something about an exhibit that she knows is incorrect, she will beeline over to them and correct them. Often people look puzzled but let it go. Sometimes, though, people get super offended and angry. They don’t know she has autism. They think she is being sassy/bossy/smart-alecky/back-talking. I don’t like telling an angry stranger, “She has autism.” I think I’m concerned that their reaction will color how she sees her autism, and their reaction is unlikely to be good at that moment! They are already angry! But I want to be able to say SOMETHING to let them know she is not disrespecting them; this is just how her brain works. Do you have a phrase you use in situations like that?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Six is too young to get this, but when your dd is older, you’ll need to coach her on thinking before she speaks, because she can follow her impulse never to let other people’s mistakes go or she can have friends, but she can’t have both.

No, six is absolutely old enough to learn not to talk to strangers like this. It's not about the content of what she's saying, but that she's interrupting/disturbing strangers. We don't do our kids with autism ANY favors if we let them engage in this kind of boundary crossing in public with strangers. As they get older the consequences get higher and possibly dangerous. Things that are cute when a toddler does it (like unsolicited hug) become assaults when a big tween does it.

It's a lesson to be taught but since generally children with ASD/ADHD are several years less mature than NT kids, they probably won't learn it as soon as you want them to.

I'm not sure why you think this. They can be taught not to do it if you make it into a goal and implement it in the right way. Maybe OP is describing something that is a rare event, in which case, not a big deal. But if a kid is routinely acting in an unxpected way towards strangers in public, this needs to be addressed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Six is too young to get this, but when your dd is older, you’ll need to coach her on thinking before she speaks, because she can follow her impulse never to let other people’s mistakes go or she can have friends, but she can’t have both.

No, six is absolutely old enough to learn not to talk to strangers like this. It's not about the content of what she's saying, but that she's interrupting/disturbing strangers. We don't do our kids with autism ANY favors if we let them engage in this kind of boundary crossing in public with strangers. As they get older the consequences get higher and possibly dangerous. Things that are cute when a toddler does it (like unsolicited hug) become assaults when a big tween does it.

It's a lesson to be taught but since generally children with ASD/ADHD are several years less mature than NT kids, they probably won't learn it as soon as you want them to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is 6 and often says rude things to adults who she perceived as breaking the rules. Or sometimes she corrects adults (strangers) who she thinks are getting facts wrong. For example, if we are at a museum and she overhears a stranger saying something about an exhibit that she knows is incorrect, she will beeline over to them and correct them. Often people look puzzled but let it go. Sometimes, though, people get super offended and angry. They don’t know she has autism. They think she is being sassy/bossy/smart-alecky/back-talking. I don’t like telling an angry stranger, “She has autism.” I think I’m concerned that their reaction will color how she sees her autism, and their reaction is unlikely to be good at that moment! They are already angry! But I want to be able to say SOMETHING to let them know she is not disrespecting them; this is just how her brain works. Do you have a phrase you use in situations like that?

1) Reinforce appropriate boundaries with your daughter. There are situations in which it is acceptable to beeline over to strangers to correct them in mid-conversation or to tell adults they are wrong, but there are also situations in which it is not OK to do this. A lot of friction will be created in her life by doing this and you will not always be there to protect her or smooth things over. Maybe in situations like at the museum coach her to tell you or another person with her what is incorrect about the comment instead of telling the person across the room. This could easily lead to offended teachers (if she is in a mainstream classroom) and at some point, offended managers or co-workers.

2) I would say something like "Apologies, she's really passionate about this" to add some levity. I don't think that there is a line that will work 100% of the time though. Your daughter is inserting herself into situations inappropriately and the older she gets the more awkward it will be for her and for you.

This is really important and possibly something to work on with an SLP. When is small talk with strangers appropriate, and when is it intrusive/crossing boundaries to talk to strangers? Most 6 year olds of course don't know how to make small talk, but they also don't talk to strangers like that. I know some parents of a kid on the spectrum who have never imposed appropriate stranger boundaries - which might have been cute and excusable at 6, but no longer cute as the child becomes a tween and has boundary-crossing interactions with complete strangers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Six is too young to get this, but when your dd is older, you’ll need to coach her on thinking before she speaks, because she can follow her impulse never to let other people’s mistakes go or she can have friends, but she can’t have both.

No, six is absolutely old enough to learn not to talk to strangers like this. It's not about the content of what she's saying, but that she's interrupting/disturbing strangers. We don't do our kids with autism ANY favors if we let them engage in this kind of boundary crossing in public with strangers. As they get older the consequences get higher and possibly dangerous. Things that are cute when a toddler does it (like unsolicited hug) become assaults when a big tween does it.