Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I talk to "readers" but then they say they aren't reading anything right now, and their last book read was like years (plural) ago. I get things like stress, little kids, changes in life, etc. But when do you stop calling yourself a reader and maybe say something like "I used to read".

This is my biggest thing about readers. It's like people who called themselves nerds but hated studying. No you weren't a nerd, you were unpopular.

We. Are. Not. The. Same

Or they just don't want to talk about something personal with you. Could be that. I don't "read" in the sense that I track my 100+ new books in goodreads every year. I "read" in I never leave home without a book and am usually in the middle of rereading 1-3 comfort books and probably at least three different fanfics. But those aren't necessarily subjects I want to bring up with a judgy person who likes to police others' language. You sound like the kind of person who would declare that graphic novels and romances don't count as "reading."

But by having a book on you that you're actively reading, you can honestly answer the question of what you're reading. Now, is you want to be holding a spider man novel and tell me nothing when I ask, I'm not going to get mad, I just won't talk to you about it. But if you tell me you haven't read a book since high school not you are in your 40s and love to read, sorry but 1 + 1 is not giving me 2.

I honestly don't care too much about what people read. It could be national enquirer for all I care. If it brings you joy great. I just remember that song. Read a book, read a book read a mfin book. And that's where I am. I just want to encourage more reading.

Cheers to that. You don't need to read a certain amount or a certain kind of book to be a reader. Gatekeeping in reading hurts everyone who loves books.

My gosh, we have extremists trying to ban books and defund libraries all over the country (several towns in Virginia are dealing with this right now). If you love reading books, support the reading of books. All kinds and all formats. It's important!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I talk to "readers" but then they say they aren't reading anything right now, and their last book read was like years (plural) ago. I get things like stress, little kids, changes in life, etc. But when do you stop calling yourself a reader and maybe say something like "I used to read".

This is my biggest thing about readers. It's like people who called themselves nerds but hated studying. No you weren't a nerd, you were unpopular.

We. Are. Not. The. Same

Or they just don't want to talk about something personal with you. Could be that. I don't "read" in the sense that I track my 100+ new books in goodreads every year. I "read" in I never leave home without a book and am usually in the middle of rereading 1-3 comfort books and probably at least three different fanfics. But those aren't necessarily subjects I want to bring up with a judgy person who likes to police others' language. You sound like the kind of person who would declare that graphic novels and romances don't count as "reading."

But by having a book on you that you're actively reading, you can honestly answer the question of what you're reading. Now, is you want to be holding a spider man novel and tell me nothing when I ask, I'm not going to get mad, I just won't talk to you about it. But if you tell me you haven't read a book since high school not you are in your 40s and love to read, sorry but 1 + 1 is not giving me 2.

I honestly don't care too much about what people read. It could be national enquirer for all I care. If it brings you joy great. I just remember that song. Read a book, read a book read a mfin book. And that's where I am. I just want to encourage more reading.

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I talk to "readers" but then they say they aren't reading anything right now, and their last book read was like years (plural) ago. I get things like stress, little kids, changes in life, etc. But when do you stop calling yourself a reader and maybe say something like "I used to read".

This is my biggest thing about readers. It's like people who called themselves nerds but hated studying. No you weren't a nerd, you were unpopular.

We. Are. Not. The. Same

Or they just don't want to talk about something personal with you. Could be that. I don't "read" in the sense that I track my 100+ new books in goodreads every year. I "read" in I never leave home without a book and am usually in the middle of rereading 1-3 comfort books and probably at least three different fanfics. But those aren't necessarily subjects I want to bring up with a judgy person who likes to police others' language. You sound like the kind of person who would declare that graphic novels and romances don't count as "reading."

Because I love reading, I love a good story.

Great questions.

I just love the written word. Audio books don't do it for me, tv is okay, I can count on one hand the number of movies I see in a year or two. (Not being a snob, it's just how my brain is wired.)

I've been a reader my entire life. My dad used to take me to the library every Saturday and I'd come home with a stack of books. I did not have an easy childhood and books were my escape. Reading was my way of staying quiet and out of the way so I could avoid being yelled at.

As an adult I can't imagine my life without reading. It's my favorite hobby. I find it more entertaining that most tv shows. I love connecting with others through books.

Sometimes I talk to "readers" but then they say they aren't reading anything right now, and their last book read was like years (plural) ago. I get things like stress, little kids, changes in life, etc. But when do you stop calling yourself a reader and maybe say something like "I used to read".

This is my biggest thing about readers. It's like people who called themselves nerds but hated studying. No you weren't a nerd, you were unpopular.

We. Are. Not. The. Same

Wow. Thank you all for these comments. I related 100% to all of them. I had no idea that my excessive reading was a coping skill for hiding from my childhood traumas. That makes me happy actually to think that I turned a negative into a major positive in my life. It's really beautiful to me to hear how much other people love reading.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another poster with a bad childhood who used books to survive. New books and old books over and over again. Also always had a big stack of books by my desk at school, and my teachers knew I loved to read and saw it as an endearing trait.

As an adult books feel nice, and I like seeing them on my shelves. Generally, now I read for intellect. Either learning directly from the books or by staying engaged in excellent writing, grammar, etc.

I'm curious. did you see books as a "safe space". What did you do when books went into an area that got close to your trauma? I have a problem reading books that are too descriptive in certain villainous acts and I have had to put the book down (permanently) for this, but I can't imagine if this had been a trigger for me.

Is that the case, and if so, how do you avoid such books?

Generally, books were life. My parents didn't talk to me and I wasn't welcome in family areas of the house. I was hungry and lonely all the time, books were warmth or just a better life and probably why i turned out half normal.

I get more triggered by movies or TV shows than books. Books are different somehow, although ones that involve child neglect and other abuse stir emotion and sometimes trauma and I sometimes don't stop reading when I should, though TV and movies I stop right away.

I really don’t know. It’s almost compulsive, honestly, or akin to asking why I like to talk to my husband. It’s just what I do.

I do enjoy learning and I find that my reading goes in related streaks. A book about a Native American story led to bison, which led to more books about bison which led to learning about the prairie… then I’ll be done with it for a while. I went through a serious Black authors/Black justice streak after 2020. I’m not the same person after I finish one of these streaks.

I have always enjoyed reading. I love being immersed in a different time or place, I love beautiful prose, I love learning about history or science or a number of other things. Reading is a way to experience lives I could never have lived, to put myself in someone else's place and see the world in a different way. It's a way to exercise my brain and my empathy at the same time. It's also fun to discuss books with others who love reading and analyzing books beyond whether they liked the characters or the plot.

I often think of Foucault's line: “There are times in life when the question of knowing if one can think differently than one thinks, and perceive differently than one sees, is absolutely necessary if one is to go on looking and reflecting at all.” For me, reading helps with that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another poster with a bad childhood who used books to survive. New books and old books over and over again. Also always had a big stack of books by my desk at school, and my teachers knew I loved to read and saw it as an endearing trait.

As an adult books feel nice, and I like seeing them on my shelves. Generally, now I read for intellect. Either learning directly from the books or by staying engaged in excellent writing, grammar, etc.

I'm curious. did you see books as a "safe space". What did you do when books went into an area that got close to your trauma? I have a problem reading books that are too descriptive in certain villainous acts and I have had to put the book down (permanently) for this, but I can't imagine if this had been a trigger for me.

Is that the case, and if so, how do you avoid such books?

8:15 here. I typically don't read books that detail trauma I experienced. I'm fine with it in a general sense or as part of a character's background but nothing more than something incidental. It's one of the reasons I can't/won't read the Stephanie Plum books by Janet Evanovich. In the very first book, she recounts how Morella stuck his head up her skirt when she was 6 and, when she was in high school, he came into the bakery where she worked and quickly convinced her to have sex with him on the floor of the bakery and never contacted her again. He was never in her circle, she only knew him from the neighborhood and they had no relationship. That's just so F'd up, peervy and abusive that I can't get past him being a major part of the books. Had this just been part of her life story, I would have been fine. But, it feels traumatizing to me. It's a shame because I live her Fox & O'Hare series.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another poster with a bad childhood who used books to survive. New books and old books over and over again. Also always had a big stack of books by my desk at school, and my teachers knew I loved to read and saw it as an endearing trait.

As an adult books feel nice, and I like seeing them on my shelves. Generally, now I read for intellect. Either learning directly from the books or by staying engaged in excellent writing, grammar, etc.

I'm curious. did you see books as a "safe space". What did you do when books went into an area that got close to your trauma? I have a problem reading books that are too descriptive in certain villainous acts and I have had to put the book down (permanently) for this, but I can't imagine if this had been a trigger for me.

Is that the case, and if so, how do you avoid such books?

DP: When I was younger, I would have skipped through the “bad” parts — and maybe checked ahead to see if there were some positive resolutions, or even a “happy ending” however improbable. To me that would have suggested that reading further might be able to provide hints about strategies and resources that could help me with my trauma. I also liked to write, so as a kid, I often wrote my own edits and endings to a few stories — and that felt quite empowering.

Anonymous wrote:Another poster with a bad childhood who used books to survive. New books and old books over and over again. Also always had a big stack of books by my desk at school, and my teachers knew I loved to read and saw it as an endearing trait.

As an adult books feel nice, and I like seeing them on my shelves. Generally, now I read for intellect. Either learning directly from the books or by staying engaged in excellent writing, grammar, etc.

I'm curious. did you see books as a "safe space". What did you do when books went into an area that got close to your trauma? I have a problem reading books that are too descriptive in certain villainous acts and I have had to put the book down (permanently) for this, but I can't imagine if this had been a trigger for me.

Is that the case, and if so, how do you avoid such books?

Another poster with a bad childhood who used books to survive. New books and old books over and over again. Also always had a big stack of books by my desk at school, and my teachers knew I loved to read and saw it as an endearing trait.

As an adult books feel nice, and I like seeing them on my shelves. Generally, now I read for intellect. Either learning directly from the books or by staying engaged in excellent writing, grammar, etc.