Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be clear, my father has always made it very clear how much he regrets that I was not born a boy. He has told me throughout my life that if I were a son, I would have fulfilled my obligations much better than I have done.

You are a willing victim.

You could not possibly be more unhelpful.

Why help someone who obviously doesn't want it?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be clear, my father has always made it very clear how much he regrets that I was not born a boy. He has told me throughout my life that if I were a son, I would have fulfilled my obligations much better than I have done.

You are a willing victim.

You could not possibly be more unhelpful.

Anonymous wrote:To be clear, my father has always made it very clear how much he regrets that I was not born a boy. He has told me throughout my life that if I were a son, I would have fulfilled my obligations much better than I have done.

You are a willing victim.

Anonymous wrote:OP. He is in DC. I am struggling with his rent which is under $2000. I also have three toddlers who aren’t old enough for school. I put the eldest in private prek and the other two are home with me so I can’t sustain him. I’m looking into the services for older people in dc. His pride is going to be a huge problem. I have suggested Medicaid, food stamps etc and he has been vehemently opposed.

Tell him you pay tax, he paid tax and it is his own money.
It is time to get the help .

OP. He is in DC. I am struggling with his rent which is under $2000. I also have three toddlers who aren’t old enough for school. I put the eldest in private prek and the other two are home with me so I can’t sustain him. I’m looking into the services for older people in dc. His pride is going to be a huge problem. I have suggested Medicaid, food stamps etc and he has been vehemently opposed.

If you you think he could be medically eligible for an assisted living I would apply him for the auxiliary grant if you live in Virginia. You can do this for your county's department of family services. All assisted living facilities are required to offer a certain number of units at this reduced rate, currently just under $2,000 a month.

My mother also just has social security, and she lives in a beautiful assisted living facility. She pays the majority of her social security and the county makes up the difference. She also qualified for Medicaid which helps with her prescriptions. My sister and I cover her incidental expenses and her Medicare supplement.

Your father would need to be deemed both medically and financially eligible, but it sounds like that is likely. We were completely at a loss when my mom started to decline, but there are these services out there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess, you’re the only daughter? The siblings who won’t help are brothers, right?

I was in a similar situation with my own Dad. The best thing you can do is try to find subsidized housing. The suggestion to contact your local agency on aging is a good one.

As much as you want to be a good daughter, you need to protect yourself and your children. Female caregivers often suffer ill health due to the demands on them.

It makes me angry when daughters are expected to handle things while sons are not. Why do we let this happen? We need to change these expectations for the next generation. I expect my sons to bear the same load as my daughters.

I'm a guy and I take care of my elderly mom with no help from my sister, so get stuffed with your ignorant prejudices.

If this is true, then you’re a rare bird. Look around. Who are the ones in the doctor’s office waiting rooms? Mostly middle-aged women with their elderly parents.

Also, see if dad can get supplemental social security income + foodstamp debit card.

Fairfax County might have income based sliding scale elderly people apartment complexes. If you live there. I know they exist and are very cheap.

To be clear, my father has always made it very clear how much he regrets that I was not born a boy. He has told me throughout my life that if I were a son, I would have fulfilled my obligations much better than I have done.

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess, you’re the only daughter? The siblings who won’t help are brothers, right?

I was in a similar situation with my own Dad. The best thing you can do is try to find subsidized housing. The suggestion to contact your local agency on aging is a good one.

As much as you want to be a good daughter, you need to protect yourself and your children. Female caregivers often suffer ill health due to the demands on them.

It makes me angry when daughters are expected to handle things while sons are not. Why do we let this happen? We need to change these expectations for the next generation. I expect my sons to bear the same load as my daughters.

I'm a guy and I take care of my elderly mom with no help from my sister, so get stuffed with your ignorant prejudices.

Anonymous wrote:Im not the only girl but I am the eldest. Growing up, it was my job to take care of my siblings. As an adult, it became my job to take care of my father.

What BS. You suck, Above PP, and I sure hope you don’t have any daughters.

Anonymous wrote:Im not the only girl but I am the eldest. Growing up, it was my job to take care of my siblings. As an adult, it became my job to take care of my father.

Sorry, that's bs. I know you said it's your "culture" but you're in America now. Your parents (even grandmother) chose to come to America. You have no obligation to follow the culture your parents CHOSE to remove you from.

Im not the only girl but I am the eldest. Growing up, it was my job to take care of my siblings. As an adult, it became my job to take care of my father.

Let me guess, you’re the only daughter? The siblings who won’t help are brothers, right?

I was in a similar situation with my own Dad. The best thing you can do is try to find subsidized housing. The suggestion to contact your local agency on aging is a good one.

As much as you want to be a good daughter, you need to protect yourself and your children. Female caregivers often suffer ill health due to the demands on them.

It makes me angry when daughters are expected to handle things while sons are not. Why do we let this happen? We need to change these expectations for the next generation. I expect my sons to bear the same load as my daughters.