Anonymous wrote:I’m white and married to a south Asian man. I wear saris (gifted to me by in laws) to Indian weddings and family events of course. But neither of us would wear those clothes to a western wedding or event. That would be weird, and in poor taste for me especially.

Super weird you say western wedding

I’m white and married to a south Asian man. I wear saris (gifted to me by in laws) to Indian weddings and family events of course. But neither of us would wear those clothes to a western wedding or event. That would be weird, and in poor taste for me especially.

Wear anything you want, any time you want, regardless of your spouse’s ethnicity. Cultural appropriation is a myth.

You can't ask white people this question, they're always going to say yes it's OK go ahead! In reality, it's not. Marrying someone doesn't give you a free pass to play dress up. It's not your culture, it never will be. You already know not to do it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course they can. What a ridiculous question.

Are you kidding, this is par for the course on DCUM. The land where saying “scotch tape” may be offensive.

That thread made me want to go drink a bottle of Scotch.

Anonymous wrote:I think this board is probably majority white, but I wonder if those of you saying “of course you can, you dummy!” Are not white. White people know you can’t wear stuff or hairstyles or anything of ethnicities where the people are not white without possibly being horribly offensive. We are constantly told we cannot do it. That’s fine with me, whatever makes other people comfortable is fine. But don’t act like this stuff is universally accepted.

I am half white, half Asian, and I have worn things from both of my native countries, even though I don't necessarily look like I "belong" to any of them at first glance. I have also worn things from my husband's country.

DCUM is full of obsessives who are so nervous about potentially offending anyone, and so enamored with being seen as culturally sensitive and accepting of all differences, that they end up being quite intolerant of anything they see as not conforming to those ideals. It's dreadfully ironic, except they don't see it.

I'm not American, and I know the above is only true of certain areas of the US, and that other places are indeed backwards and racist. But dear goodness: most people who use symbols from a culture other than their own do not mean any disrespect!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this board is probably majority white, but I wonder if those of you saying “of course you can, you dummy!” Are not white. White people know you can’t wear stuff or hairstyles or anything of ethnicities where the people are not white without possibly being horribly offensive. We are constantly told we cannot do it. That’s fine with me, whatever makes other people comfortable is fine. But don’t act like this stuff is universally accepted.

OP here. I’m surprised at the near universal “of course you can!” Response. I think this PPs post may be along the lines of why I posted the question and sometimes feel uncomfortable wearing the clothes.

If you feel uncomfortable DON’T do it! That is a clear sign you shouldn’t!

I’m white and my H is Mexican. The only time I would ever wear clothes from his culture is in situations where it would be more offensive NOT to. That’s never happened, so I never have. I would never just randomly decide to wear Mexican clothes to an event.

Being married to someone from a different culture doesn’t grant you permission to use things from that culture to suit you. Like people in his family use slurs and I would absolutely never, ever say any of them just because I’m part of the family.

I think it depends on the ethnicity. Most wouldn’t be offended, but I think some would.

Anonymous wrote:I think this board is probably majority white, but I wonder if those of you saying “of course you can, you dummy!” Are not white. White people know you can’t wear stuff or hairstyles or anything of ethnicities where the people are not white without possibly being horribly offensive. We are constantly told we cannot do it. That’s fine with me, whatever makes other people comfortable is fine. But don’t act like this stuff is universally accepted.

OP here. I’m surprised at the near universal “of course you can!” Response. I think this PPs post may be along the lines of why I posted the question and sometimes feel uncomfortable wearing the clothes.

Anonymous wrote:Curious, went to a wedding of a family friend (Jewish ceremony) , they offered my brothers a yamaka to wear. They put them on. With a previous comment I wonder now if maybe they assumed we were Jewish
And maybe they should have put them on??
Can anyone advise on protocol.

That's just being respectful, like how I cover my hair in Orthodox churches

Anonymous wrote:Curious, went to a wedding of a family friend (Jewish ceremony) , they offered my brothers a yamaka to wear. They put them on. With a previous comment I wonder now if maybe they assumed we were Jewish
And maybe they should have put them on??
Can anyone advise on protocol.

If they were going into a synagogue, yes, they should wear the offered yarmulke. It would be more disrespectful to go in bare-headed, as I understand it.

For most cultural appropriation questions, I'm pretty sure the answer is "ask the culture who may or may not be being appropriated." In this question, OP should ask their spouse or their in-laws if wearing spouse's traditional clothing is appropriate.

Curious, went to a wedding of a family friend (Jewish ceremony) , they offered my brothers a yamaka to wear. They put them on. With a previous comment I wonder now if maybe they assumed we were Jewish
And maybe they should have put them on??
Can anyone advise on protocol.

I think this board is probably majority white, but I wonder if those of you saying “of course you can, you dummy!” Are not white. White people know you can’t wear stuff or hairstyles or anything of ethnicities where the people are not white without possibly being horribly offensive. We are constantly told we cannot do it. That’s fine with me, whatever makes other people comfortable is fine. But don’t act like this stuff is universally accepted.

I think most cultural appropriation cases are more accurately cases of cultural appreciation. Having grown up by with the idea that America is a melting pot, I think it’s a good thing when we learn from each other and see the value in other cultures that we admire and want to adopt.

That doesn’t even apply to the OP, because in coming together, the couple brings the cultures together and forms a bridge. Their children, if they have any, will be a part of both.