Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Start the application for the high school and have your daughter do a shadow day. Maybe she will change her mind if she visits it. People have a lot of preconceived notions of what schools are like and seeing them in person is really the best way to tell. If she still hates it after the visit then don’t send her!

+1

Anonymous wrote:have you socialized thids with her at all, or are you just telling her this is how it is?

You sound not in DC - our catholic schools have shadow days for the kids, open houses, and plenty of ways to get engaged. 2-3 hours of homework sounds excessive. Is she saying that because it's true or because it's what she fears? Here, there's also a competitive application process and an essay the kid has to write, as well as a test.

I dunno. I feel like working WITH you kids as much as possible is a better path than dictating to your kids. Something seems off here, especially with older son though I guess you kept him at local school and did'nt change things for him because of covid years.

Anonymous wrote:Start the application for the high school and have your daughter do a shadow day. Maybe she will change her mind if she visits it. People have a lot of preconceived notions of what schools are like and seeing them in person is really the best way to tell. If she still hates it after the visit then don’t send her!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't do this to your daughter.

This don’t do this to your daughter please!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I was in your situation a few years back. My kid was in a large public middle with supposedly excellent academics but was getting As with no effort and his 504 was totally ignored. Given his good grades, we applied to private Catholic HS. He was totally opposed for the reasons your DD articulated. We essentially made him apply but told him that we would discuss options once the application process was over. He did a shadow day and I’m positive he went to the shadow day intending to hate it … but found he really liked it. He loved the small class sizes and classroom discussion and even the cafeteria. He liked the kids he met too.

When he got in, he did think about it, but finally decided to go. It has been a very good experience. He got the 504 support he needed (the school was much better for that than his public middle). Academically it was a shock and his first-year grades were not good. He went from “advanced” math to remedial math. I would say he was practically a year behind his Catholic school peers — they came in writing full essays, he had barely read a book at his school. It was a real struggle. But he is now getting As.

The one thing I will say is that we are in the college process now and his grades are markedly lower than some of his middle school peers who went to the local public. It may impact his college choices. At his school, the highest GPA any student can ever get is 4.2 because they don’t weight classes like the public school. On the other hand, he had had the benefit of a very rigorous education and is heading off the college very well prepared. And, hopefully the colleges understand the grading rigor. Since he wants to go to grad school, it may not be the worst thing to go to an undergraduate school that he will shine at. But he also just told me that he thinks his high school decision changed the course of his life. Some of his friends from middle school with similar profiles (boys who flew under the radar) aren’t even planning to go to college and he sees that.

Good luck!

eh..not all schools are the same, either public or private. There are plenty of private school kids who go public, and find they are behind in math.

DC knows some kids in private schools, and their highest math class is two lower than the advanced math track in public where the advanced math classes are full of really smart kids. It really depends on the schools.

Anonymous wrote:Don't do this to your daughter.

Anonymous wrote:OP I was in your situation a few years back. My kid was in a large public middle with supposedly excellent academics but was getting As with no effort and his 504 was totally ignored. Given his good grades, we applied to private Catholic HS. He was totally opposed for the reasons your DD articulated. We essentially made him apply but told him that we would discuss options once the application process was over. He did a shadow day and I’m positive he went to the shadow day intending to hate it … but found he really liked it. He loved the small class sizes and classroom discussion and even the cafeteria. He liked the kids he met too.

When he got in, he did think about it, but finally decided to go. It has been a very good experience. He got the 504 support he needed (the school was much better for that than his public middle). Academically it was a shock and his first-year grades were not good. He went from “advanced” math to remedial math. I would say he was practically a year behind his Catholic school peers — they came in writing full essays, he had barely read a book at his school. It was a real struggle. But he is now getting As.

The one thing I will say is that we are in the college process now and his grades are markedly lower than some of his middle school peers who went to the local public. It may impact his college choices. At his school, the highest GPA any student can ever get is 4.2 because they don’t weight classes like the public school. On the other hand, he had had the benefit of a very rigorous education and is heading off the college very well prepared. And, hopefully the colleges understand the grading rigor. Since he wants to go to grad school, it may not be the worst thing to go to an undergraduate school that he will shine at. But he also just told me that he thinks his high school decision changed the course of his life. Some of his friends from middle school with similar profiles (boys who flew under the radar) aren’t even planning to go to college and he sees that.

Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:

I know St. X is the best place for her. Can I make her go, or is she destined for failure if her heart isn't in it?

Anonymous wrote:OP I was in your situation a few years back. My kid was in a large public middle with supposedly excellent academics but was getting As with no effort and his 504 was totally ignored. Given his good grades, we applied to private Catholic HS. He was totally opposed for the reasons your DD articulated. We essentially made him apply but told him that we would discuss options once the application process was over. He did a shadow day and I’m positive he went to the shadow day intending to hate it … but found he really liked it. He loved the small class sizes and classroom discussion and even the cafeteria. He liked the kids he met too.

When he got in, he did think about it, but finally decided to go. It has been a very good experience. He got the 504 support he needed (the school was much better for that than his public middle). Academically it was a shock and his first-year grades were not good. He went from “advanced” math to remedial math. I would say he was practically a year behind his Catholic school peers — they came in writing full essays, he had barely read a book at his school. It was a real struggle. But he is now getting As.

The one thing I will say is that we are in the college process now and his grades are markedly lower than some of his middle school peers who went to the local public. It may impact his college choices. At his school, the highest GPA any student can ever get is 4.2 because they don’t weight classes like the public school. On the other hand, he had had the benefit of a very rigorous education and is heading off the college very well prepared. And, hopefully the colleges understand the grading rigor. Since he wants to go to grad school, it may not be the worst thing to go to an undergraduate school that he will shine at. But he also just told me that he thinks his high school decision changed the course of his life. Some of his friends from middle school with similar profiles (boys who flew under the radar) aren’t even planning to go to college and he sees that.

Good luck!