The above, and this from an earlier poster are right on the mark: "Your job is to keep the perspective that your teenager likely won’t have, which is that there are lots of great schools and what you do in school is more important than where you go."

Fairy tale ending from the bloodbath 2 years ago: WL at 2 reach schools (never got off the WLs), denied at all targets, in at all safetys. Child is now the happiest kid on the block at their safety school. Seriously. They love the location, classes, professors (has a repeat from last Spring this Fall), friends, social life, and we are happy with Dean's List their freshman year (Fall and Spring).

Those reach schools will still be available for grad school, IF they still want to go there!

OP, it WAS a bloodbath last year, but here’s what you need to know: your child will land somewhere, and it will most likely be the best fit. My DS did not get into his reach schools nor his match schools; however, the school he accepted ended up being perfect for him.

Anonymous wrote:It was mostly a bloodbath for non-athletes and non-African-war refugees, but some of the boring white legacy kids I know did end up getting into their parent’s college. Rejected everywhere else prestigious, though. Parents thought their little geniuses were bound for hyp but the kid had to be content with legacy at Cornell or Haverford.

You sound jelly

Are some of these success stories from people that checked an URM box because I know nobody that got into a T15-20 with the stats presented in a few of these posts? It would at least explain the difference if they are URM.

Anonymous wrote:OMG if one more person tells me what a horrible bloodbath this process is going to be for my senior, for me and my spouse and for my entire family I am going to scream. I feel like whatever happens we will be fine but I'd love someone to say "sometimes it works out just fine."

Can anyone share some success stories- where you kid applied to a reach and actually got in? Or a case where you thought they had no chance at a school and it worked out?

I know, I know it's all an unfair lottery. We are realistic but would just love to hear some positive stories of times it actually worked out. Thanks in advance.

Kid was just outside of top 10% of class and considered CMU and UNC Chapel Hill a reach as OOS. Got into both, but biggest success was to get into their #1 W&M. Happy as a clam there, found their happy place.

Anonymous wrote:The bloodbath narrative comes from the fact parents who went to top schools in a much easier era wishing and praying somehow their kids will get the results they would have gotten in the 1990s or whenever it is you applied. You absolutely must stop engaging in this magical thinking. Your kids will not get admitted to the places they would have if they had been your classmates.

+1. I would go further and say that everything changed once Covid hit and schools went test optional. Regardless, Op you sound way too emotionally invested in the situation. Your job is to keep the perspective that your teenager likely won’t have, which is that there are lots of great schools and what you do in school is more important than where you go. This is not a bloodbath. My DS had a perfect unweighted GPA and a high ACT score. End of the day he didn’t get into any of his top choices and is now at a public school in the honors college, and he loves it! Chill op.

The bloodbath narrative comes from the fact parents who went to top schools in a much easier era wishing and praying somehow their kids will get the results they would have gotten in the 1990s or whenever it is you applied. You absolutely must stop engaging in this magical thinking. Your kids will not get admitted to the places they would have if they had been your classmates.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP, but your post does sound geared toward true reaches (not the "reach" to a school with a 60% acceptance rate). The best thing you can do for your kid to avoid the "bloodbath" is to help him/her find reaches, targets, and TRUE safeties they'd be happy going to. And if you have a high stats kid, they need to put the work in with the safety just as they would with the reach/match. High stat kids are sometimes sidelined in the yeild protection process.

This is what worries me.

Yep. You have to show them love. I had a high stats kid who did not want T20. She showed the lower ranked schools the love and got into all of them.

Anonymous wrote:The counter argument to the "unfair lottery" deniers is the fact that there are schools when plenty of highly qualified students with better stats get rejected and the green checks on the scatterplot are lower and to the left. Not all lottery schools are looking for the 4.67 GPA. There are some with an average GPA much lower, but it still ends up lottery. That can "feel" unfair. It's not up to me or you to say whether or not it is.

What part of holistic admissions do you not get? It’s not based solely on GPA or test scores. That check mark may have had something the school was looking for (the oboe player, etc or maybe just rich). That doesn’t make it unfair. No one promised that the slots go to the highest scorers. The schools have been very open about that. Just because that is how you would do it does not mean the colleges do it that way. They look at lots of factors.

Anonymous wrote:I think that success looks like your kid realizing that they're not so fragile that they can only learn in a small number of places, and falling in love with a place they can get into.

I think framing the college search the way you are is likely to hurt your kid badly, whether or not they get into a reach.

+1000

Inevitably, on this board, we will see the posts in Jan/Feb/Mar where the parent is lamenting how "crushed" the kid is that s/he didn't get into his/her "dream school." And that the kid is non-stop-crying and now doesn't want to go to college at all, and on and on....

Barf.

(1) start by actually discerning what YOU want (not what everyone else wants or thinks you should want),
(2) then be realistic and honest about your chances at every school you are SERIOUSLY interested in,
(3) then assume whatever happens, you will be ok... with any outcome!
(4) Actually choose to embrace what the world offers.

THAT is the recipe for happiness.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP, but your post does sound geared toward true reaches (not the "reach" to a school with a 60% acceptance rate). The best thing you can do for your kid to avoid the "bloodbath" is to help him/her find reaches, targets, and TRUE safeties they'd be happy going to. And if you have a high stats kid, they need to put the work in with the safety just as they would with the reach/match. High stat kids are sometimes sidelined in the yeild protection process.

This is what worries me.

Anonymous wrote:OP - To the PP I never mentioned how high they were reaching - why do you assume I am talking about reaching for the stars? No need to be unkind. JMU is a good school and a reach for some kids. I'd love to hear about when kids applied for schools they thought were target/reach (doesn't matter if it was JMU or Harvard) and they got in. My kid has heard about friends at all different academic and achievement levels not getting into anything but last choice or even nowhere.. He has curated his list carefully and hopefully likes all his schools. We'd just love to hear- yes- sometimes you are happily surprised.

Hope that curated list includes several Safeties that he truly likes and would be thrilled to attend. That way, whatever happens he will be excited. Because the fact is, if your reaches include T20-T30 schools, there is a high chance you will be disappointed---that's just how it works. There are way too many highly qualified people applying for 1500-2000 spots at most of those schools. And it's the same groups applying to so many of those T30 schools. So yes, a few people are lucky. But 90-95% are not.

But if your kid has a good list of balanced reach/target/safety they will end up where they belong come next fall

By definition, a “reach” is that it’s a school you are not likely to get in. If getting into a school that you have a low probability of getting into is your definition of success, you are really messed up. The goal should be getting into a match.

No, your bog standard smart kid isn’t going to miraculously get into Stanford, so you can just lay that to rest.

This is why our kids are so messed up.

The acceptance rates for the highly selective schools are staggering.

For those schools a "success story" would be the equivalent of someone hitting the lottery.

Thankfully there are hundreds of great schools where one can have a success story without the churn, angst and recriminations.

Anonymous wrote:OMG if one more person tells me what a horrible bloodbath this process is going to be for my senior, for me and my spouse and for my entire family I am going to scream. I feel like whatever happens we will be fine but I'd love someone to say "sometimes it works out just fine."

Can anyone share some success stories- where you kid applied to a reach and actually got in? Or a case where you thought they had no chance at a school and it worked out?

I know, I know it's all an unfair lottery. We are realistic but would just love to hear some positive stories of times it actually worked out. Thanks in advance.

Can you say more why you know it is an *unfair* lottery?