Anonymous wrote:""but have no interest in getting to know me or involving me in their family. My husband is gone half of the year and I solo parent my child. It’s radio silence on their end when he’s gone. We don’t wish each other happy birthdays, go to birthday parties (unless my husband is home), it’s basically like I don’t exist.[u]"

People show you how to treat them. No acknowledgment from OP is needed.

Exactly. No card or text.

""but have no interest in getting to know me or involving me in their family. My husband is gone half of the year and I solo parent my child. It’s radio silence on their end when he’s gone. We don’t wish each other happy birthdays, go to birthday parties (unless my husband is home), it’s basically like I don’t exist.[u]"

People show you how to treat them. No acknowledgment from OP is needed.

Send a card. Dear InLaws, I was sorry to hear about Fido. I know how much he meant to you and he was such a good dog.

Thinking of you,
Larla

Flowers are too much. Text is too informal for people you don't speak to.

Send a hand written note. That is the right thing to do and if you text you will just be a annoyed that they don't acknowledge the text.

Anonymous wrote:I find it strange that the victim of cruelty is expected to "do the right thing" and/or "be the bigger person" to their perpetrator. To quote DCUM favorite and all too frequent advice, DROP THE ROPE. It's your husband's responsibility to send condolences on his parent's dog. It's a dog, not a person. If it were a person I'd say send them a card, but after years of blatant abuse, I would do nothing for a pet. You reap what you sow.

It doesn't sound as if the in-laws are cruel, just don't engage which isn't the same thing.

Personally for my dh I would send a card and flowers if the dog died. Did the dog die?

I find it strange that the victim of cruelty is expected to "do the right thing" and/or "be the bigger person" to their perpetrator. To quote DCUM favorite and all too frequent advice, DROP THE ROPE. It's your husband's responsibility to send condolences on his parent's dog. It's a dog, not a person. If it were a person I'd say send them a card, but after years of blatant abuse, I would do nothing for a pet. You reap what you sow.

Anonymous wrote:My dog was actually hit by a car about a month ago and did die. We have two kids, so you can imagine how upset our whole household was.

I very much appreciated the kind texts some close friends and family sent.
I absolutely would have thought it was SUPER weird if anyone had sent flowers. And extra weird if it was someone I barely talked to.

Send a card or a text, but that's it.

Having lost our dog recently, I can’t relate to this at all. I would have been appreciative of flowers for sure.

Flowers or card

How very sad.

My dog was actually hit by a car about a month ago and did die. We have two kids, so you can imagine how upset our whole household was.

I very much appreciated the kind texts some close friends and family sent.
I absolutely would have thought it was SUPER weird if anyone had sent flowers. And extra weird if it was someone I barely talked to.

Send a card or a text, but that's it.

Send a card, write a short note and reference the pet by name if you knew it. Don't expect anything in return, but know you showed kindness to someone who was hurting.

NOT comparing pets and people, but I'll note that DH had a very acrimonious divorce from his first wife. She sent flowers when his mom died which was more than 10yrs after their divorce. We didn't all suddenly become best friends, but it was a kind and thoughtful thing to do on her part.

I’d send a card/ condolences. The high road is always the right roads, and “what other people think abiut yu is none of your business”.

If I basically had no contact with them, I would not do anything. I think DH should handle it.

I would not send anything.

If you send a card or call, don’t expect a response. Shows their true colors.

I would send the flowers or at least a card. Be the bigger person, OP.