Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't you and the super close SIL just hatch the plan between yourselves and keep the secret? It's such an obvious solution to a problem of your own making. It's almost like this can't even be real because it's so easily solved.

Exactly this. Just keep your mouth shut. Not every plan needs to be advertised. But that would solve the problem too easily.

+1!!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't you and the super close SIL just hatch the plan between yourselves and keep the secret? It's such an obvious solution to a problem of your own making. It's almost like this can't even be real because it's so easily solved.

Exactly this. Just keep your mouth shut. Not every plan needs to be advertised. But that would solve the problem too easily.

And when they find out after the fact and are pouty and mad it's a perfect time to just lay your cards on the table. Nip this in the bud.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi, this isn’t about MIL/FIL not “letting” grown-ass adults do anything. This is about you, DH, SIL and BIL lacking spines and mouths, apparently.

Your SIL/BIL:
“Our priority is cousin time and giving Bill and Jane and their family the best accommodations in our house. If you want to visit at the same time, there’s a Hampton Inn about five minutes away.”

You:
“Actually, Katie and I are looking forward to some time just the two of us. We’ll see you at dinner.” [DH then steps in and says “Mom, the kids want to play Uno—come join us.”]

Grow a freaking spine and a freaking mouth. I am so sure. It took me literally five seconds of thinking of your “problem” to find solutions that anyone who isn’t a completely spineless twit can manage to say.

And before you start with the “there’s no hotel nearby” excuses, just stop. If it’s a 20-minute drive to the nearest hotel or more, oh well. NOT YOUR PROBLEM, NOT SIL/BIL’S PROBLEM. “We’re staying on the main floor guest room this time. We’re tired of the basement and this visit is meant to be cousin time. So if you and David want to visit at the same time, you can either take the basement or stay at the Holiday Inn in Wheeling. We’re not doing the basement anymore, just so you know.”

Good speech, but I don’t think you just dictate that the visit is cousin time (or brother time, or sisters-in-law time, or whatever) unless it’s your brother-in-law explaining to his parents why they’re not invited.

Your husband and his brother need to address this directly. Be direct. Ask mom why she is so determined to always join your plans to visit the brother. Explain how it impacts his family. I would go so far as to say that my children caught colds the last time the visited and sleeping in an unfinished basement is no longer an option. Period. State that visits from here on out need to be staggered or someone needs to stay in a hotel.

BTW, stating that there is no AB&B or hotel nearby is not convincing. I'm sure there is SOMETHING within a 30 minute drive. Next time they tagalong, agree that you will either 1) stay in a hotel, thus making the visit much more inconvenient and fun or 2) cancel and tell inlaws that since they are going, you no longer will.

stop being such a doormat.

Anonymous wrote:Why can't you and the super close SIL just hatch the plan between yourselves and keep the secret? It's such an obvious solution to a problem of your own making. It's almost like this can't even be real because it's so easily solved.

Exactly this. Just keep your mouth shut. Not every plan needs to be advertised. But that would solve the problem too easily.

I think OP is a troll. I'm not buying that they would change their Mexico plans.

I hear you OP. In my case, it’s my grandma’s house in the country and I would love to get there with just my sister and her family (brother lives in the area as well) and NOT my mom, who can’t travel without very elderly grandma whom she fights with constantly, and my dad, who can’t travel without his unruly dogs! In my case, it’s not our house so I don’t say anything but boy is it nice if we can ever arrive early and enjoy some sibling time.

Anonymous wrote:OP - why can’t the sibling/cousins visit you?

+1. If their accommodations are so spartan, I’m surprised they’re not traveling to see you. Also, if it’s a 6 hour drive, how long do you stay at their house? Seems too long of a drive for a weekend visit.

Anonymous wrote:Hi, this isn’t about MIL/FIL not “letting” grown-ass adults do anything. This is about you, DH, SIL and BIL lacking spines and mouths, apparently.

Your SIL/BIL:
“Our priority is cousin time and giving Bill and Jane and their family the best accommodations in our house. If you want to visit at the same time, there’s a Hampton Inn about five minutes away.”

You:
“Actually, Katie and I are looking forward to some time just the two of us. We’ll see you at dinner.” [DH then steps in and says “Mom, the kids want to play Uno—come join us.”]

Grow a freaking spine and a freaking mouth. I am so sure. It took me literally five seconds of thinking of your “problem” to find solutions that anyone who isn’t a completely spineless twit can manage to say.

And before you start with the “there’s no hotel nearby” excuses, just stop. If it’s a 20-minute drive to the nearest hotel or more, oh well. NOT YOUR PROBLEM, NOT SIL/BIL’S PROBLEM. “We’re staying on the main floor guest room this time. We’re tired of the basement and this visit is meant to be cousin time. So if you and David want to visit at the same time, you can either take the basement or stay at the Holiday Inn in Wheeling. We’re not doing the basement anymore, just so you know.”

Why can't you and the super close SIL just hatch the plan between yourselves and keep the secret? It's such an obvious solution to a problem of your own making. It's almost like this can't even be real because it's so easily solved.

Hi, this isn’t about MIL/FIL not “letting” grown-ass adults do anything. This is about you, DH, SIL and BIL lacking spines and mouths, apparently.

Your SIL/BIL:
“Our priority is cousin time and giving Bill and Jane and their family the best accommodations in our house. If you want to visit at the same time, there’s a Hampton Inn about five minutes away.”

You:
“Actually, Katie and I are looking forward to some time just the two of us. We’ll see you at dinner.” [DH then steps in and says “Mom, the kids want to play Uno—come join us.”]

Grow a freaking spine and a freaking mouth. I am so sure. It took me literally five seconds of thinking of your “problem” to find solutions that anyone who isn’t a completely spineless twit can manage to say.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Double knee replacements. Six hour drive. If you weren't going, how often would the MIL/FIL be able to make the trip without you? Just curious.

Who cares. Not OP’s problem to fix

I was just pointing out why they would be so desperate to tag along with you. OP and the ILs could maybe do a parents holiday without the kids. But honestly its the opposite problem of a lot of DCUM where the grandparents don't care AT ALL.

Call the BIL and SIL to your town. Then tell MIL and FIL that you all will be eating the three meals daily at their house.

Cure them.

Anonymous wrote:Double knee replacements. Six hour drive. If you weren't going, how often would the MIL/FIL be able to make the trip without you? Just curious.

Who cares. Not OP’s problem to fix

Anonymous wrote:OMG, there are so many threads like this. WHYYYYY do you people tell your in-laws that this visit is happening??? Just go and don't tell them until after the fact. So dumb.

Exactly. Be an adult. Have a backbone. Make a decision and stick to it.

Or don’t, but then don’t complain about it.