Anonymous
Post 10/07/2022 15:37     Subject: If you think bride's parents should pay for the wedding - why?
I was the bride, and my parents paid for the wedding, but that was because they wanted the wedding. My DH and I were fine with just signing papers at the courthouse and being done with it. We went through with the wedding because it made my parents happy.
Anonymous
Post 10/07/2022 15:35     Subject: If you think bride's parents should pay for the wedding - why?
Anonymous wrote:Not talking about either set of parents voluntarily contributing money for the wedding, but specifically bride's parents having an obligation to pay for the wedding.
If you believe they should, what is your reasoning?

IMHO, it was relevant back in the old days, but now, when a marriage is between two adults who have equal rights, earn an income or have an ability to earn an income and the new family unit is mostly independent, then the expectation seems just completely random.


I think there shouldn't be a wedding at all. It's a waste of money. Spend the money on a house, and throw a low-key party in it once it's set up.
Anonymous
Post 10/07/2022 15:11     Subject: Re:If you think bride's parents should pay for the wedding - why?
No obligation to pay for the wedding, but my DD is getting married soon and we are paying for most of it. We are able to afford it and happy to give them a wedding as a gift. They are young and just starting out so I’d rather them save for a house then spend their own money on a wedding.
Anonymous
Post 10/07/2022 14:59     Subject: Re:If you think bride's parents should pay for the wedding - why?
We split things up traditionally. My parents paid for the wedding service and reception, his parents paid for the rehearsal dinner (which included almost all guest and was almost as expensive). DH and I paid for morning after brunch at a club ( along with some other items such as photography and transportation) It all worked out in the end as I am the only girl (though my parents pitched in for both my brothers weddings far beyond the rehearsal dinner), and his family has far more money.

We plan to contribute to all children’s wedding equality’s
Anonymous
Post 10/07/2022 14:49     Subject: If you think bride's parents should pay for the wedding - why?
Because women generally care far more about a nice wedding than men do.
Anonymous
Post 10/07/2022 14:23     Subject: Re:If you think bride's parents should pay for the wedding - why?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Assuming anyone’s parents are paying and both sets of parents have the money, bride’s side should handle day of wedding and groom’s side should handle the previous night. In all three weddings we’ve been involved in recently, the expenditures were very similar, as the entire guest list was invited to an expensive rehearsal dinner/welcome party.


This is the Christian US WASP concept of rehersal and actual wedding. No. Just stop with this.



Goes beyond WASP, I think it’s a generation thing.
Anonymous
Post 10/07/2022 14:08     Subject: Re:If you think bride's parents should pay for the wedding - why?
Anonymous wrote:Bride price should also be dropped. There is no reason for the groom's family to give money, land, cattle to the bride's family.


Indeed. Drop the engagement ring crap. It’s overdone and unnecessary.
Anonymous
Post 10/07/2022 14:03     Subject: Re:If you think bride's parents should pay for the wedding - why?
Obligated? No, I don't believe the are obligated.

However, my parents (I'm female) paid for my wedding in full. For a few reasons 1) They have the money 2) My husband has two sisters, and his parents paid for their weddings in full. Feels crappy to then have to go halvsies on their son's wedding 3) My parents wanted to! They love weddings.

We'll see what happens with my children, but I imagine we'd offer to pay for all or offer to split costs depending on many variables.
Anonymous
Post 10/07/2022 13:42     Subject: Re:If you think bride's parents should pay for the wedding - why?
I will happily pay for the weddings of both my DD and DS, if they marry someone we think is going to be a good spouse and parent.

I will not spend a cent if I think the marriage will fail. Why should I?
Anonymous
Post 10/07/2022 13:39     Subject: Re:If you think bride's parents should pay for the wedding - why?
Anonymous wrote:Assuming anyone’s parents are paying and both sets of parents have the money, bride’s side should handle day of wedding and groom’s side should handle the previous night. In all three weddings we’ve been involved in recently, the expenditures were very similar, as the entire guest list was invited to an expensive rehearsal dinner/welcome party.


This is the Christian US WASP concept of rehersal and actual wedding. No. Just stop with this.

Anonymous
Post 10/07/2022 13:38     Subject: Re:If you think bride's parents should pay for the wedding - why?
Bride price should also be dropped. There is no reason for the groom's family to give money, land, cattle to the bride's family.
Anonymous
Post 10/07/2022 13:36     Subject: If you think bride's parents should pay for the wedding - why?
No obligation but society doesn't operate without a starting point. That starting point is "what has been the status quo? Start there. Alter as needed. Be generous when you can. These are people you love. Why wouldn't you be generous?

Life events are the centerpiece of joy in life. If you had the money, why wouldn't you?
Anonymous
Post 10/07/2022 13:27     Subject: Re:If you think bride's parents should pay for the wedding - why?
Assuming anyone’s parents are paying and both sets of parents have the money, bride’s side should handle day of wedding and groom’s side should handle the previous night. In all three weddings we’ve been involved in recently, the expenditures were very similar, as the entire guest list was invited to an expensive rehearsal dinner/welcome party.
Anonymous
Post 10/07/2022 13:26     Subject: If you think bride's parents should pay for the wedding - why?
It was NEVER Brides parents it is Father of Bride.

Does anyone really think last huge fancy wedding I went to the Mom of Bride who has not worked in 25 years was paying.
Anonymous
Post 10/07/2022 13:25     Subject: If you think bride's parents should pay for the wedding - why?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have three daughters and I believe 100 percent Father of Bride pays.

But the rules when that was in effect the grooms side pays rehearsal dinner, honeymoon, groom comes in debt free no student loans and the Groom traditionally provides a home and if wife decides to be a SAHM support her. And of course Groom has a good job and a good person with right values.

My brother married a pretty nice girl around four years younger, he was 29 she was 25. Her blue collar parents paid.

Well that was 30 years ago. She has not worked in 25 years. Drives a brand new Lexus, belongs to two country clubs at her primary and Florida home. My brother helps out in-laws both financially and physically. Paid all colleges. Hosts all holiday parties. Even pays for in-laws tickets for vacation.

But makes a lot. It was an investment and their community college pretty daughter is by far the richest person on their side of family.



Did they have children? If she worked inside the Horne raising children and caring for her family then she definitely would have worked most of those 25 years.


She had a babysitter, housekeeper etc and only had one kid. Her kid went away to college in 2014 so been enjoying laugh. She spends like crazy. Right now she has two housekeepers!! One for each place when she is there