Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Still drive

Are you crazy?

No. If I’m not sick and people are depending on me for their kids’ rides, I’m going to do what I can not to let them down.

Anonymous wrote:Still drive

Are you crazy?

Doesn’t matter. If my kid isn’t going, I’m not driving. Period.

I HATED carpooling with people like you. Many parents rely on carpools with no backup plan, because they are single parents or have multiple kids or an inflexible job. A respectful, polite person would ask if anyone can switch - and if they can't, you follow through on your obligation. That's what adults do.

Depends on the circumstances. My carpool is short (10 mins RT), the other kids live next door and its on my way to work so I would still offer to do it. Unless I thought I would spread the illness, in which case I would talk with the other parent.

The nice thing to do is to still offer to drive (if your kid doesn’t need care at that time). But the nice thing on the other end is to say no to the offer and drive your own kid.

Text the other parent and sort it out together, obviously.

"Hi, Jane. Larlo is sick and won't be attending practice. Can we switch days for carpool or if you've already got other plans I can still pick up your son and drop him at the soccer field." Sure, if OP's child is 5 she can't leave him home alone but if her own sick child is 9 or older she can likely leave him for a bit if she still needs to fulfill her commitment to the other family.

Chances are Jane will say she hopes Larlo feels better and will drive her own child. For whatever reason, it might be the case that she cannot flex her schedule so either will (a) have her son also skip practice, (b) ask you to drive, or (c) send a message to all the families on the team and say "help, any chance someone could swing by and pick up my kid today?".

Normal people work this out, and I've seen all of these happen.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No I would not still drive. Yes I would offer to take an extra turn later.

I’d say stay home and take care of your sick kid. What’s with you people?

My kids are teenagers, so they can be home alone. There’s nothing to do to take care of them if they’re asleep.

Doesn’t matter. If my kid isn’t going, I’m not driving. Period.

Then you shouldn't commit to a car pool. This happened to me recently when I agreed to drive a kid home after a sports practice. One of his parents was traveling for work and that the other one was in a secure location during the day and couldn't be reached by cell phone. When my DC didn't go to practice because he was sick, obviously I still drove the other kid home. What was I supposed to do -- just leave him sitting there for a few hours until the one parent got off work?

Worked in the 80s.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No I would not still drive. Yes I would offer to take an extra turn later.

I’d say stay home and take care of your sick kid. What’s with you people?

My kids are teenagers, so they can be home alone. There’s nothing to do to take care of them if they’re asleep.

Doesn’t matter. If my kid isn’t going, I’m not driving. Period.

Then you shouldn't commit to a car pool. This happened to me recently when I agreed to drive a kid home after a sports practice. One of his parents was traveling for work and that the other one was in a secure location during the day and couldn't be reached by cell phone. When my DC didn't go to practice because he was sick, obviously I still drove the other kid home. What was I supposed to do -- just leave him sitting there for a few hours until the one parent got off work?

DP, but my carpools have always been for convenience, not necessity. I would not drive if my kid were not going, for whatever reason (and expect the same of the other parent), HOWVER, I would drive if I were the only option for getting the other kid home. If asked and assuming I'm able, I'd likely drive any kid home one day if they didn't have another option, not just a kid in my carpool.
These days, I wouldn't even assume that the other parents want me to drive if my kid is sick, many people still feel if you are potentially exposed to covid, you should stay home and not everyone trusts negative tests on the first or second day of symptoms. I'm not that cautious, but certainly some people are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No I would not still drive. Yes I would offer to take an extra turn later.

I’d say stay home and take care of your sick kid. What’s with you people?

My kids are teenagers, so they can be home alone. There’s nothing to do to take care of them if they’re asleep.

Doesn’t matter. If my kid isn’t going, I’m not driving. Period.

Then you shouldn't commit to a car pool. This happened to me recently when I agreed to drive a kid home after a sports practice. One of his parents was traveling for work and that the other one was in a secure location during the day and couldn't be reached by cell phone. When my DC didn't go to practice because he was sick, obviously I still drove the other kid home. What was I supposed to do -- just leave him sitting there for a few hours until the one parent got off work?

No one in my carpool drives when their kid is absent, regardless of the reason for the absence. We are all fine with this.

The only time I would cancel if if I were showing similar symptoms myself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No I would not still drive. Yes I would offer to take an extra turn later.

I’d say stay home and take care of your sick kid. What’s with you people?

You don’t need both parents to do that.

You’re assuming a two parent household and or a second parent who is at home.

And that PP assumed there wasn’t.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No I would not still drive. Yes I would offer to take an extra turn later.

I’d say stay home and take care of your sick kid. What’s with you people?

My kids are teenagers, so they can be home alone. There’s nothing to do to take care of them if they’re asleep.

Doesn’t matter. If my kid isn’t going, I’m not driving. Period.

You don’t have to, that’s your prerogative, but a parent isn’t neglectful because they left home for a short period while their kid is sick. The original comment sounded judgmental.

+1. I would completely understand a parent in our carpool asking to reschedule for a sick kid but personally I would still drive leaving my child with the other parent. The parents I carpool with have pretty set schedules (and trying to get their other kids places too) and it’s a just pain for people to scramble to try to reorganize the route - I’m going to do whatever I can to not put them through that and just do the task I agreed to do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No I would not still drive. Yes I would offer to take an extra turn later.

I’d say stay home and take care of your sick kid. What’s with you people?

You don’t need both parents to do that.

You’re assuming a two parent household and or a second parent who is at home.