I had to figure out how to tell my husband that his bottom teeth have gotten horribly stained. It looks like he spits tobacco or something (apparently the culprit is a bag of tea we bought a few months ago, which he's been having in the afternoons). I said, "You know I love you no matter what, but did you know that your teeth have gotten really stained? I just thought I should mention it in case no one had told you." He said his business partner had actually said, "You need to get your bleeping teeth cleaned." So he knew, apparently, lol. He did start brushing better and they're like what people's teeth looked like in the 80s.

Your partnership is based on mutual attraction. It's OK to mention (gently, obliquely) that you prefer a certain look over the one that's being adopted now. Most people want their partners to be attracted to them and will take it under consideration. Just be kind because at the end of the day, it's just hair, and if it makes her happy then that's nice, right? My husband shaved off his beard once and I was like, oh, hmmmm, yes, well, do YOU like it? He got the hint and grew it right back.

Anonymous wrote:Can you just tell her exactly what you said here? If my husband said it the way you did I’d be totally receptive and really rethink my haircut.

+1 - ish.

Does she tell you when she's going to the salon? If so, can you just say, hey have you ever thought about a new style? I saw a picture of (insert celebrity name here) and I thought that would look really good on you.

What’s the Canadian thing? I don’t get it. Maybe I don’t know enough Canadians.

Can you just tell her exactly what you said here? If my husband said it the way you did I’d be totally receptive and really rethink my haircut.

Anonymous wrote:Is she Canadian? 😂 Only partly joking

+1 I look at my Canadian cousins and think, wow, all that work went in to their hair...and it looks so harsh!

I’m imagining OP telling his spouse he’d like a different hairstyle, the wife shaving it all off a la Sinead O’Connor, and then OP standing there with a surprised Pikachu look

OP, one way around this is to say, "I was looking at a picture of us back when ___ "(like when we were married, or 2004, etc)
"And I forgot you had your hair (long and wavy). I miss that! Can you do that next time?"

Because asking your wife to do something she did before is not as prickly as asking her to do something "else."

So, think this through. If the style you like is longer than what she has, say this to her *before* she goes in to get a haircut, not immediately after.

Also, if pressed, just tell her "This is okay but I like the other style better."

My DH has done this with me--he's careful--but I do hear what he's saying.

I do think that in general, "Men want what they married." If they dated you when your hair was long and magenta and permed 80s style, then that's what they still like. I've been married now so long and have ditched the magenta, and then the curls. Losing the perm was hard on him. I try not to ditch the length, but I've also gone gray and it looks good to everyone but him. Maybe I'll give him 80s hair on Halloween!

OP, you probably have no idea re: what is needed to look as good as she does. Hair texture, hair thinning, going grey ... you have no idea.

Anonymous wrote:Probably all her friends have been encouraging her to have an awful haircut, and now you're going to hear the DCUM anons screeching that you should stay out of her hair decisions. (What fun to sabotage women whom you don't even know!)

Please sit down and eat a gummy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the hairstyle? Maybe she finds it easier to manage? She is the one having to deal with her hair, not you.

Obviously it’s the Karen (can i speak to the manager).

What was she thinking?

Is she Canadian? 😂 Only partly joking

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the hairstyle? Maybe she finds it easier to manage? She is the one having to deal with her hair, not you.

Obviously it’s the Karen (can i speak to the manager).

Anonymous wrote:Show her a picture of her hairstyle on someone else (celebrity) and say "She'd be SO pretty with a different hairstyle. Act innocent. Do this a few times a week. See if she takes the hint.

Then when she connects the dots and says "Um, that's MY hairstyle - don't you like my hair?" don't answer with yes or no, but just say "Actually, you know what I think would really accentuate your eyes/cheekbones/whatever? If you did layers started shoulder length and a color like two shades lighter than you have now (or whatever). If you can show her a picture even better.

Lol

Anonymous wrote:What is the hairstyle? Maybe she finds it easier to manage? She is the one having to deal with her hair, not you.

Obviously it’s the Karen (can i speak to the manager).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she work? It might be professional armor. In general it’s hard for women, especially middle aged women, to be taken seriously professionally with hair that men consider attractive. I know people will come with the exceptions but the exceptions tend to be very glamorous women.

Not really. You can wear an elegant ponytail or chic bun if you have long feminine hair in the workplace.

No you can’t.