How do you all make play dates without class lists?! Slip a note and hope your kid gives it to her friend and also gives it to her mom?

The head of our nursery/K told parents to please not encourage or even use the term “best friend” or “bff” because she felt very strongly that preschool/early elementary kids with a best friend developed less robust friendship skills. She said even if it seems clear that your kid really preferred another kid, we should still encourage them to have a variety of play dates and not label the preferred friend as a best friend. It did seem to eliminate some of the best friend drama that I saw at our prior school, for example, kids telling each other “you can’t hang out with so and so because we are best friends”. It also helped break up the parent cliques, which was maybe the main motive of the head of school! Hmm…

Every kid is different. My son is now in 2nd grade and he always has had friends in school but never a super close “bff” type friend. He just makes friends easily and is friendly w a lot of kids. He is not shy.

My daughter is in k this year and is very shy w majority of ppl but she has 2 “bff” type friends she is really close w. luckily one of her bff friends is in her class bc otherwise I don’t think she would play w anyone at school (I wouldn’t have thought this based only on the info I get from my daughter but based on my own observations from volunteering at her school and based on what her teacher has told me) I do want her to make other friends outside this one bff but I figure eventually she will and she’s happy.