My mom (69) can listen to five minutes of updates on her two grandkids but then needs to talk for 45 minutes about herself. She has hobbies and does interesting things so it's not terrible. For her, I think it's because she lives alone and no one else will listen to her talk about the things she does.

Anonymous wrote:IDK, our neighbor has multiple conversations, out on the street walking her dog, many times a day. With all neighbors she only talks about herself.

Give an example of what she talks about. How do these self topics come up?

Anonymous wrote:They are trying to cover up hearing loss.

Their memory isn't good enough to follow an unfamiliar topic of conversation.

This.

I think older people get isolated and conversational skills atrophy. Old people also get bitter, demented and have an entitlement that they can do and say what they like, even if they are rude or out of line. For example, George Bush Sr. was known for putting his hands on women's asses from his wheelchair. I have had similar experiences with old men. I put them in check.

Yeah probably all the reasons people are saying. And with a lot of old people it’s actually really great. I think that the rest of us feel a lot of pressure to not talk about ourselves so our stories aren’t heard as much as they should be. If my grandpa didn’t sit around talking about himself so much, I probably wouldn’t have learned so much about what it was like to live during the Great Depression. And my next door neighbor now has so many interesting stories about working in the state department and boy does he know how to tell a story. As long as they aren’t bitter and complain your ear off, it’s great to just listen to older people. (Not that I fault the bitter ones for being bitter, they are usually bitter for good reason)

My mother-in-law, who is 75 and in relatively good health, has become increasingly isolated and as a result seems to be mentally aging quickly. She has no hobbies, no real social life (she expects family to be her sole source of entertainment and socialization), no intellectual curiosity (unless you count watching hours of Fox News and Dr. Oz re-runs), and no interest in physical exercise. The pandemic eliminated any kind of normal life she had and she's just never bounced back. Now she has nothing to talk about but her ailments. And how much Biden sucks. She's also become more vocally racist. Ugh. It's so frustrating. Gentle encouragement to try new things has not been welcomed or considered.

IDK, it can be a goal for an older person not to talk, only, about themselves. If they want to stay sharp, social skills are part of that.

I'm in my 50s and in a book group that includes several neighbors in their 80s. They have a lot of really interesting things to talk about, including their own lives, but also politics, movies, TV shows, sports, podcasts, etc. TBH, I prefer chatting with them to chatting with the younger moms, who are really caught up in the drama going on at the bus stop. It makes me wonder how boring I must have been when I talked endlessly about that kind of stuff to my older neighbors and how incredibly kind they were to listen to me.

Anonymous wrote:They are trying to cover up hearing loss.

Their memory isn't good enough to follow an unfamiliar topic of conversation.

This is definitely it. Just be kind and listen.