Anonymous wrote:It’s obvious that all you haters give crappy gifts.

A $20 bar soap is a very nice gift actually. But a $20 set of plates, is definitely garbage.

I give great gifts, and I love it. But because I understand that People Are Different From Me, I recognize and accept that I'm not going to "get as good as I give," and I keep it moving. Because my intention is to give something that will bring joy and show appreciation and celebration, my intention is not to keep score or "come out even" or "win."

You tried it, though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Small gifts are the norm in my family. I don't think anyone on my side of the family has given a birthday or christmas gift worth more than $30 ever. And it isn't a financial issue, most of us are very well off. The point of the gift is to give a token and acknowledgement. It was weird to me to marry into my husband's family where they exchange multiple expensive gifts...which just seems so inefficient to me. Gift giving traditions vary, it isn't a sign of disrespect.

You are right, but I guess my issue with it is that it’s aggravating to receive a cheap gift which is either useless or breaks after a few uses, and deal with it.

I don’t mind a $15/20/30 gift card or cash. The kids can save and buy something bigger. For bdays and holidays, I buy their gift cards if they are from multiple places so they can get some they like.

I personally don’t go out of my way to make the gift $15. If I see something that costs $22, and it’s a better fit, I get it. When the kids are young it’s easier to spend ~$20 and get a nice gift, but as they grow older it’s just not possible. We have another cousin that does low price gifts, but they are usually very well thought out, ex a book that the child would enjoy and read and reread.

I know I can give the same lame gifts back, but it takes more time for me to do that.

Cheap gifts are also a burden on the environment. Think of all those broken plastic pieces and the pollution they cause.

The point is, why give something you know is garbage and will be trashed?

Because you’ve made us feel obligated to give you a gift and we just don’t care. You get the cheapest easiest thing because we’ve got better things to do with our time.

Anonymous wrote:When I was 10 my grandmother gave me an XL ladies slip with the $1.50 gimbels clearance tag still on it and gave my cousins pretty dolls. Still not sure if she was mentally ill, it was a mistake or just some way to jab my dad.

Your dad likely wasn't getting your grandma and all your other relatives gifts and she was trying to get back at him.

Anonymous wrote:If gifts are causing this much hurt feelings then stop with the material gift exchanges and just create beautiful memories when you are together. That is a true gift.

+100

Anonymous wrote:It’s obvious that all you haters give crappy gifts.

A $20 bar soap is a very nice gift actually. But a $20 set of plates, is definitely garbage.

I don’t want a $20 bar of soap. That is not a nice gift for me because I don’t care.

Anonymous wrote:Small gifts are the norm in my family. I don't think anyone on my side of the family has given a birthday or christmas gift worth more than $30 ever. And it isn't a financial issue, most of us are very well off. The point of the gift is to give a token and acknowledgement. It was weird to me to marry into my husband's family where they exchange multiple expensive gifts...which just seems so inefficient to me. Gift giving traditions vary, it isn't a sign of disrespect.

You are right, but I guess my issue with it is that it’s aggravating to receive a cheap gift which is either useless or breaks after a few uses, and deal with it.

I don’t mind a $15/20/30 gift card or cash. The kids can save and buy something bigger. For bdays and holidays, I buy their gift cards if they are from multiple places so they can get some they like.

I personally don’t go out of my way to make the gift $15. If I see something that costs $22, and it’s a better fit, I get it. When the kids are young it’s easier to spend ~$20 and get a nice gift, but as they grow older it’s just not possible. We have another cousin that does low price gifts, but they are usually very well thought out, ex a book that the child would enjoy and read and reread.

I know I can give the same lame gifts back, but it takes more time for me to do that.

Cheap gifts are also a burden on the environment. Think of all those broken plastic pieces and the pollution they cause.

The point is, why give something you know is garbage and will be trashed?

Anonymous wrote:So you like giving gifts, and everyone should like it because you do?

I like giving gifts. My brother hates giving and receiving them. I respect his preferences by not giving gifts, but rather going out for a meal together, and offering to pay and respecting his answer when it is his birthday or whatever.

If he feels obligated to give a gift, it’s usual on the cheaper side and not nicely wrapped. He and my kids joke about it…they love it when he literally tosses them a CVS bag filled with candy at the holidays. So what?

Like, so what? Who cares? Do what you want to do. Respect that not everyone likes giving gifts, etc. If you have a tit-for-tat, petty attitude about it, that rather defeats the purpose and the spirit of giving, now doesn’t it?

Honestly do get over yourself. Do you need another luxury hand lotion or Sephora gift card?

This right here. I hate having to shop for gifts. So I don’t.

Small gifts are the norm in my family. I don't think anyone on my side of the family has given a birthday or christmas gift worth more than $30 ever. And it isn't a financial issue, most of us are very well off. The point of the gift is to give a token and acknowledgement. It was weird to me to marry into my husband's family where they exchange multiple expensive gifts...which just seems so inefficient to me. Gift giving traditions vary, it isn't a sign of disrespect.

When I was 10 my grandmother gave me an XL ladies slip with the $1.50 gimbels clearance tag still on it and gave my cousins pretty dolls. Still not sure if she was mentally ill, it was a mistake or just some way to jab my dad.

If gifts are causing this much hurt feelings then stop with the material gift exchanges and just create beautiful memories when you are together. That is a true gift.

One of my family members - who is umm - gives the worst/cheapest gifts. So we do the same for her family. Easy.

$20 is not bad. My mother often buys my kids stuff at Dollar Tree which often breaks within a few uses. Then they are really upset because its a present and we spend a lot of time crazy gluing the bits back together. I try to steer her towards experiences but she likes getting them junk for us to toss.

Anonymous wrote:So you like giving gifts, and everyone should like it because you do?

I like giving gifts. My brother hates giving and receiving them. I respect his preferences by not giving gifts, but rather going out for a meal together, and offering to pay and respecting his answer when it is his birthday or whatever.

If he feels obligated to give a gift, it’s usual on the cheaper side and not nicely wrapped. He and my kids joke about it…they love it when he literally tosses them a CVS bag filled with candy at the holidays. So what?

Like, so what? Who cares? Do what you want to do. Respect that not everyone likes giving gifts, etc. If you have a tit-for-tat, petty attitude about it, that rather defeats the purpose and the spirit of giving, now doesn’t it?

Honestly do get over yourself. Do you need another luxury hand lotion or Sephora gift card?

Chill out Karen.

It’s obvious that all you haters give crappy gifts.

A $20 bar soap is a very nice gift actually. But a $20 set of plates, is definitely garbage.

So you like giving gifts, and everyone should like it because you do?

I like giving gifts. My brother hates giving and receiving them. I respect his preferences by not giving gifts, but rather going out for a meal together, and offering to pay and respecting his answer when it is his birthday or whatever.

If he feels obligated to give a gift, it’s usual on the cheaper side and not nicely wrapped. He and my kids joke about it…they love it when he literally tosses them a CVS bag filled with candy at the holidays. So what?

Like, so what? Who cares? Do what you want to do. Respect that not everyone likes giving gifts, etc. If you have a tit-for-tat, petty attitude about it, that rather defeats the purpose and the spirit of giving, now doesn’t it?

Honestly do get over yourself. Do you need another luxury hand lotion or Sephora gift card?