In my experience, looks really start to go downhill after 45. I'm 47 and have watched about 50 friends age. At 40-43 or so, many looked indistinguishable from 35. Then aging hit and it's been striking.

Agree with others - no one looks 20 and if they think they do they’re delusional. Among my friends the ones who look older have a ‘mom style’— think frumpy Kohls outfits and overly fluffy blonde hair. I’m a thrift store shopper so not saying clothes have to be expensive, just that they should fit well. I do Botox and lasers and I think it takes a few years off but I most definitely still look like a middle aged woman. Everyone’s looks start going downhill. It’s just how much time and upkeep you’re willing to put in.

Anonymous wrote:We had my 25th HS reunion last fall. There was pretty clearly a divide between people who had been living rough and people who had the resources to keep up with themselves. I wouldn't say anyone looked 30, but lots of folks certainly looked 50.

I don’t even think you have to really, really take care of yourself, there’s a huge divide between the “normal living” people and the “living rough.” I saw a classmate when I was in my hometown and she looked rough. We’re 41/42 and I thought she was a tough looking 55 year old, but she had a less stable upbringing and started partying young, plus tanning and all that kind of stuff.

Anonymous wrote:I am not mentally ready for botox/fillers/surgery. What else can I do at this point?

Love yourself. You’re above ground, your face is who you are and we should not need to pretend to look “young” for our entire lives. It’s psychotic.

Fillers look so bad. As much as “I’m 50 but I look 30!” is a trope on here, so is “my fillers look amazing and everyone tells me so and no one can tell!” I just met a woman who couldn’t be more than 50, probably closer to 45, and she’s lineless, yes, but she doesn’t look good. She doesn’t even have crazy fillers, she just looks bad.

And if you really can’t accept yourself, just get a facelift. Done right, that’s something that turns back the clock and doesn’t make you look like a freaky bag of wax in the bargain.

I think it's when looks start to diverge. You can't get away with the same unhealthy habits (bad diet, drinking, lack of exercise, etc.) of your 20s and 30s anymore. Many women hit perimenopause at this age and that has an effect too.

We had my 25th HS reunion last fall. There was pretty clearly a divide between people who had been living rough and people who had the resources to keep up with themselves. I wouldn't say anyone looked 30, but lots of folks certainly looked 50.

I think it's mostly genetics.
My husband is 60, as no gray in a full head of blonde hair, has few wrinkles and is fit (this he does himself) but he's never used any skincare or anything.

Anonymous wrote:I am not mentally ready for botox/fillers/surgery. What else can I do at this point?

I thought Botox was a huge deal until I tried it, and it’s been wonderful for me. I go to someone who has a light touch. It definitely takes some years off.
Something else you can do is pay attention to your eyebrows. Get them waxed and tinted, and get your eyelashes tinted too if you want.
Doing this makes a huge improvement in my appearance. I go to Progressions in Rockville and it costs $100 for brow shape and tint with eyelash tint.

Your 40s are also when the sh!t often hits the fan in your personal life. Parents getting older, sick and dying; kids getting older and becoming more challenging; marital bliss starting to wear off. It’s a tough decade for many. It was May worst decade and it aged me a lot.

Try to stick to a regular schedule of exercise, with weight training a central component; eat healthier and ease off on the alcohol if you drink.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, everyone here on DCUM swears they look 20 years younger and still get carded in their 40s. Of course any other woman their DH looks at looks terrible and old for her age.

God, this. And that they have the most style and blah blah blah. I’m looking around at school pick up and … no. Just no. You all look your age and for those that are so proud they don’t wear makeup and don’t need to, you do, and no, the jeans you got at the teen store at the mall aren’t super flattering. You’re just delusional. And you don’t need to feel bad about yourself. But no, you don’t look so incredible and better than everyone else either. Find the nice reality.

Jesus. How much real estate does “looking around at school pick up” take up in your head? I can’t imagine being that distressed about how other women look.

Oh, it’s casual observation, and I don’t care what other people look like. It’s just responding to all the posters that pop on here in every thread to gush about their own perceived gorgeousness.

I am not mentally ready for botox/fillers/surgery. What else can I do at this point?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the covid quarantine aged a lot of people. I am 50 and felt like I looked 40 before covid, but now I look 60.

yes, me too. but i was 45 when the stay-at-home orders started, so it could have happened even without them. (But I probably would be wearing more makeup if the lockdowns didn't happen, I guess?)

Me too but that’s partially because I broke my foot and couldn’t exercise. But apparently foot injuries were common during the shutdown because so many people were barefoot at home so that’s art of the pandemic!

Anonymous wrote:I think the covid quarantine aged a lot of people. I am 50 and felt like I looked 40 before covid, but now I look 60.

yes, me too. but i was 45 when the stay-at-home orders started, so it could have happened even without them. (But I probably would be wearing more makeup if the lockdowns didn't happen, I guess?)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the covid quarantine aged a lot of people. I am 50 and felt like I looked 40 before covid, but now I look 60.

This happened to me too

+ Another here

The last 2+ years have aged me so quickly

Well my cheeks have fallen in. In a decade or so, I'll have my father's jowls

Apart from that, I'm lucky that I still have a rosy, dewy look sometimes. Rest, hydration and clean eating do a lot for that.