Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are queer lives gay lives? What does the term mean? I always thought it was an insult.

Queer is a reclaimed slur that is used by some people in the community. It's used as an umbrella term to talk about people that are LGBTQIA+ without saying those letters out. IE: queer people, queer community. Some older LGBT people that had it weaponized against them decades ago still feel uncomfortable with using the term and that's okay.

This this this. I understand why it's being used, but I cringe every time I hear it said in the media or in person. I can't seem to help myself. (FWIW I'm straight, but have/have had many LGBT+ friends over the years). I'm 55.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a bizarre thread. Two men should be able to handle the physical demands of an infant. It is MUCH more taxing in a heterosexual relationship because the woman gave birth to the child and has to overcome the physical issues from 9 months of pregnancy and then childbirth. Heteros have it much harder in the bed game then two men who had nothing to do with childbirth and its consequences.

Op here. The question was not about infants. It was about in general with gay men with kids. Does the amount of sex appreciably decrease because of the kids (in contrast to pure age).

Other than little ones interrupting sometimes, I’m betting no.

Why are you curious about this? I honestly don’t understand. Is it just curious it’s about queer lives and experiences?

Op here. I’m a gay man with kids. Yes, I’m curious as to the experience of other gay female couples with children. Not from an outside looking in perspective, but from the inside looking around.

But why? Who cares if someone is having more or less sex than you. If you aren't happy talk to your partner/husband.

I'm not the OP but I would guess that he's perhaps wondering if what is going on in his relationship is just them or is it a thing. Working it out might depend on the source of the issue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a bizarre thread. Two men should be able to handle the physical demands of an infant. It is MUCH more taxing in a heterosexual relationship because the woman gave birth to the child and has to overcome the physical issues from 9 months of pregnancy and then childbirth. Heteros have it much harder in the bed game then two men who had nothing to do with childbirth and its consequences.

Op here. The question was not about infants. It was about in general with gay men with kids. Does the amount of sex appreciably decrease because of the kids (in contrast to pure age).

Other than little ones interrupting sometimes, I’m betting no.

Why are you curious about this? I honestly don’t understand. Is it just curious it’s about queer lives and experiences?

Op here. I’m a gay man with kids. Yes, I’m curious as to the experience of other gay female couples with children. Not from an outside looking in perspective, but from the inside looking around.

But why? Who cares if someone is having more or less sex than you. If you aren't happy talk to your partner/husband.

Anonymous wrote:I just read about lesbian bed death. I’m thinking this is not a thing for gay men with kids. When they were babies there were times when we were both exhausted and sometimes morning sex is not practical because the kids are up and ready for us to get going, but I wouldn’t say it has decreased in any significant amount. Anyone disagree?

Dude, no one cares about your sex life. Keep it between you and your partner.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are queer lives gay lives? What does the term mean? I always thought it was an insult.

Queer is a reclaimed slur that is used by some people in the community. It's used as an umbrella term to talk about people that are LGBTQIA+ without saying those letters out. IE: queer people, queer community. Some older LGBT people that had it weaponized against them decades ago still feel uncomfortable with using the term and that's okay.

Here's a song with a few slurs that were relaimed in it as well as some other slang. I actually quite like it.

Anonymous wrote:Are queer lives gay lives? What does the term mean? I always thought it was an insult.

Queer is a reclaimed slur that is used by some people in the community. It's used as an umbrella term to talk about people that are LGBTQIA+ without saying those letters out. IE: queer people, queer community. Some older LGBT people that had it weaponized against them decades ago still feel uncomfortable with using the term and that's okay.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a bizarre thread. Two men should be able to handle the physical demands of an infant. It is MUCH more taxing in a heterosexual relationship because the woman gave birth to the child and has to overcome the physical issues from 9 months of pregnancy and then childbirth. Heteros have it much harder in the bed game then two men who had nothing to do with childbirth and its consequences.

Op here. The question was not about infants. It was about in general with gay men with kids. Does the amount of sex appreciably decrease because of the kids (in contrast to pure age).

Other than little ones interrupting sometimes, I’m betting no.

Why are you curious about this? I honestly don’t understand. Is it just curious it’s about queer lives and experiences?

Op here. I’m a gay man with kids. Yes, I’m curious as to the experience of other gay female couples with children. Not from an outside looking in perspective, but from the inside looking around.

Having kids affects everyone’s sex lives regardless of the gender of the parents. Even in cishet couples you hear about this. Probably far more commonly discussed than with LGBTQ couples since the cishet ppl are the majority. I think if you’re worried a sour your sex life, just do like everyone else does. Prioritize it. Raising kids is a lot of work and sometimes you are exhausted. You’re probably going to have less sex but by no means no sex unless you stop placing a priority on it.

When there's a will, there's a way.

Talking about the "will", however: maternity recovery and oral contraceptives are the main causes of libido decrease in women (of any sexual orientation). Then after a certain age perimenopause comes into the mix, with a wide variety of effects.

So all in all, OP, women's sex lives are usually more impacted by their reproductive systems than men's are with theirs.

I don't think it has anything to do with same-sex life. Just female versus male.

Lucky you...