OP here. I’m a woman not a man.

I personally would not like the gesture of showing up unannounced. As a woman, I'm likely decompressing at home in sweatpants, messy hair, etc and I would not appreciate an unexpected visit.

You wanted to end the relationship. They are holding you to that and moving on.

This isn’t apologizing after a fight, this is asking to be taken back. Totally do not show up at their house for this! Send a text asking if you can get together because you’d like the chance to apologize. Leave the gift.

Anonymous wrote:Do not show up unannounced. Clearly they don’t want to talk to you right now, and forcing yourself on them by showing up at their door uninvited will show a complete lack of respect for them.

+1 I suppose you could leave the gift and note at their door. But in your shoes I would send one more note expressing my desire to listen to what they say and work things out, and then tell them you will give them the space they need.

OP, how long ago was the fight, what was it about, and what happened to make you want to end things?

Anonymous wrote:Do not show up unannounced. Clearly they don’t want to talk to you right now, and forcing yourself on them by showing up at their door uninvited will show a complete lack of respect for them.

This. As another PP said, send a card/note and apologize, and invite them to contact you when and if they want. Then give them space. Any pressure or appearance of pressure you apply now will backfire.

Also, don't threaten to end things just because your ego got hurt. It's a very bad sign/red flag, and personally, I would probably not want to continue with someone who did that.

You wanted to end it, congratulations. Wish granted.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much of this depends on what the fight was about. If it has anything to do with them finding you overbearing or controlling, or if they have specifically asked for space, then do NOT do this, you will be violating the boundaries they’re worried about and validating their views, not improving them.

Fight was not about being controlling or overbearing. I told SO I wanted to end things in the heat of the moment, now they are not taking my calls.

That doesn’t sound like a good dynamic.

This. If the dynamic was you were being controlling/overbearing, then broke of the relationship out of anger (emotional leveraging), and now want to lovebomb with a surprise gift. Well, some of us have been down this road before and it does not end well.

Be open to what she was saying in the argument. And possibly, that your relationship skills may benefit from self-awareness and the right help.

Op says fight was not about being controlling or overbearing.

Anonymous wrote:Wait, were YOU being criticized for being overbearing and controlling, and now you want to show up unannounced after they are declining your calls?! I’d call the freaking police if you did that to me, and I am not kidding.

X2. This has got restraining order all over it.

Creepy? Not at all.
Rude, inconsiderate and a little narcissistic? Absolutely.

Wait, were YOU being criticized for being overbearing and controlling, and now you want to show up unannounced after they are declining your calls?! I’d call the freaking police if you did that to me, and I am not kidding.

Do not show up unannounced. Clearly they don’t want to talk to you right now, and forcing yourself on them by showing up at their door uninvited will show a complete lack of respect for them.

I would tell so that you made a mistake, apologize, you would like to see him/her, but understand if they don’t want to or need time. I would send a note, not just show up and expect to have a conversation.