Anonymous wrote:Not going will solidify your estrangement and will take your sister from saying you're close to moving her into the estranged pack. Is that really what you want to do? I just don't see the payoff here for making such drama - because you know your absence will cause drama. If you truly care for your sister, go to the wedding and go to the reception. If you need to leave the reception early, then do so. But don't blow up your sister's wedding just because you don't like some of your family members. It isn't fair to your sister.

Anonymous wrote:Just respond that you can't make to a cross country wedding due to childcare issues and send a gift.

Anonymous wrote:Not going will solidify your estrangement and will take your sister from saying you're close to moving her into the estranged pack. Is that really what you want to do? I just don't see the payoff here for making such drama - because you know your absence will cause drama. If you truly care for your sister, go to the wedding and go to the reception. If you need to leave the reception early, then do so. But don't blow up your sister's wedding just because you don't like some of your family members. It isn't fair to your sister.

Anonymous wrote:Fairly estranged from my family. I have four kids and a spouse. Ideally would like to totally avoid sibling’s wedding but there would be so much blow-back my spouse and I don’t think that’s possible. Is it too much of a statement to only attend the ceremony and not the reception? There will be a lot of folks at the reception we don’t want to see, parents included.

Anonymous wrote:I think you should RSVP that you'll happily be attending the ceremony but not the reception. The reception is the part that costs them money per head.

Don't invent an emergency or lie. "Laura I'm so happy for you and Joe, and will attend your wedding ceremony to support your marriage. I won't be attending the reception - as you know I have a contentious relationship with our parents and I'd hate for my presence to take away from your special day. All the best to you and Joe!" (Don't put all that on the RSVP card - just text or email it to your sibling.)

Anonymous wrote:Since the wedding is not local, you have a perfect reason to skip. No excuses needed.

RSVP no and move on with your week.

Anonymous wrote:Since the wedding is not local, you have a perfect reason to skip. No excuses needed.

RSVP no and move on with your week.

Anonymous wrote:If you’re estranged from your family and fine with the estrangement, why do you care about blow back?

Anonymous wrote:Fairly estranged from my family. I have four kids and a spouse. Ideally would like to totally avoid sibling’s wedding but there would be so much blow-back my spouse and I don’t think that’s possible. Is it too much of a statement to only attend the ceremony and not the reception? There will be a lot of folks at the reception we don’t want to see, parents included.

Anonymous wrote:My recommendation to you is: in or out.

Anything else and you can rightfully be accused of causing drama, causing confusion, pulling attention away from the bride and groom, adding to their cost, taking up spots that otherwise they would have filled with friends.

In or out.

Anonymous wrote:Fairly estranged from my family. I have four kids and a spouse. Ideally would like to totally avoid sibling’s wedding but there would be so much blow-back my spouse and I don’t think that’s possible. Is it too much of a statement to only attend the ceremony and not the reception? There will be a lot of folks at the reception we don’t want to see, parents included.

Anonymous wrote:So much dysfunction. Ugh. Just don't go. Say that with 4 kids, you just can't get away.