Anonymous
09/05/2022 00:38
Subject: I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
How are you going to put four kids through college if you live in DC where there are no instate schools? You need to move to md or va
Anonymous
09/05/2022 00:02
Subject: I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
4+ children are status symbols, white people with multiple kids are showing off their wealth (or are try hards who want people to think they have a lot of money).
Anonymous
09/04/2022 23:14
Subject: I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I’m in the Midwest and only know two families with 4 kids. It isn’t common here either. The overwhelming majority of families have 2 kids, some with 3 if there is a SAHM.
OP here.
It may be something that kind of runs in families, and farming families especially. Like, people grow up in big families and are more likely to do the same. My dad is one of 5 kids who grew up ranching/farming; and each of them had at least 3 kids... Hence I have 18 cousins on that side, and each cousin has at least 3 kids... Multiple twins in the family too!
Eh, my mom (5 siblings) and MIL (8 siblings) each have 2 kids, and their siblings have 0, 1, or 2 kids. I think you will be happier if you don't try to fit your decision into a "story" about what kind of people have big families. That is what defensive or self-conscious people do. You don't need a reason to have 4 kids, except that you want them.
Anonymous
09/04/2022 22:16
Subject: I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
I live in Rockville OP and I know tons of 4 kid families.
Anonymous
09/04/2022 22:10
Subject: I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I’m in the Midwest and only know two families with 4 kids. It isn’t common here either. The overwhelming majority of families have 2 kids, some with 3 if there is a SAHM.
OP here.
It may be something that kind of runs in families, and farming families especially. Like, people grow up in big families and are more likely to do the same. My dad is one of 5 kids who grew up ranching/farming; and each of them had at least 3 kids... Hence I have 18 cousins on that side, and each cousin has at least 3 kids... Multiple twins in the family too!
Well, you (and most people suburb or city) aren’t raising farm hands anymore. The decision to procreate is a more cognitive decision than it once was. Now there are things to consider such as private schools, or living in a good public school district, saving for college, and so many more expenses.
Anonymous
09/04/2022 22:02
Subject: I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
Come to the suburbs op! On my block nearly every single house has 3 kids. Next door there’s a family with 4 kids. Clearly though, all these people chose larger homes in the suburbs that would fit their family so I’m sure most people here have larger families than average.
Anonymous
09/04/2022 22:02
Subject: Re:I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
We know 4 families that big
Anonymous
09/04/2022 21:59
Subject: I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
Anonymous wrote:You find us in the suburbs Op. We get more bang for our buck, great schools, and overall more affordable to raise a "large" family.
-Family of 6 in Burke
This. Space for 4 kids in NW DC is rare, but there are lots of big families in the burbs. I'm in Fairfax with an only child, but we know a couple families with 4 and 5 kids, and lots with 3. Also, FWIW, lots with 1.
People will comment on your family size no matter what that size is. And while it's often poorly phrased, I find it's rarely mean or judgy: people just want to say something to pass the time and compare experiences. Let it roll off.
Anonymous
09/04/2022 21:53
Subject: I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
I honestly just assume families with more than three kids are wealthy or super catholic (or another religion or ethnicity that doesn’t agree with birth control).
Anonymous
09/04/2022 21:51
Subject: I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I may be pregnant with our 4th child (I am pretty sure but need to confirm with a test in a couple days).
DH and I come from larger families: mine from the Midwest; I have 3 brothers, and on that side of my family it's the norm to have 3-4 kids (I have 18 cousins just on my dad's side!). DH has 6 or 7 siblings
, from a traditional society where families basically have as many children as possible.
Anyway, we're in NW DC... And it's kind of funny how my only reservation is sort of self-consciousness here. Like, are people going to judge us for being such a large family? We're not wealthy, just feds who live simply and love our community.
We have one set of friends in the neighborhood who have 3 kids. But our other family friends have 2 max!! I don't think I can even think of any family in my neighborhood with 4 children!
...tell me you exist? If I were in the Midwest state where my relatives are, no one would bat an eyelash at a healthy big family. But here.... What are people's reactions going to be? I shouldn't care, but I do!
I’m just focused on the fact that you don’t know how many siblings your husband has
Have as many kids as you want as long as you remember how many there are.
OP here. DH lost touch with his family when he was a young boy. He knows of at least 3 siblings. He also had heard his mother lost at least one child. So... Yeah, we don't know how many siblings he has, because he was born into an illiterate agrarian family and had to flee as a child. This history is likely key to his desire to raise a big, happy family.
Anonymous
09/04/2022 21:40
Subject: I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
Anonymous wrote:I may be pregnant with our 4th child (I am pretty sure but need to confirm with a test in a couple days).
DH and I come from larger families: mine from the Midwest; I have 3 brothers, and on that side of my family it's the norm to have 3-4 kids (I have 18 cousins just on my dad's side!). DH has 6 or 7 siblings
, from a traditional society where families basically have as many children as possible.
Anyway, we're in NW DC... And it's kind of funny how my only reservation is sort of self-consciousness here. Like, are people going to judge us for being such a large family? We're not wealthy, just feds who live simply and love our community.
We have one set of friends in the neighborhood who have 3 kids. But our other family friends have 2 max!! I don't think I can even think of any family in my neighborhood with 4 children!
...tell me you exist? If I were in the Midwest state where my relatives are, no one would bat an eyelash at a healthy big family. But here.... What are people's reactions going to be? I shouldn't care, but I do!
I’m just focused on the fact that you don’t know how many siblings your husband has
Have as many kids as you want as long as you remember how many there are.
Anonymous
09/04/2022 21:36
Subject: I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There's one family on our street with 4 but most have 1 or 2. There is one with 3.
Honestly, with climate change happening the environmental impacts of more than 1-2 kids are staggering, and I do think a lot of people judge based on that, but also a lot of people just don't have the time or energy or around here start older.
Do what you want, but consider ways to cut your environmental impacts.
Mmm no. Just you, really.
OP here. Um... I am sure plenty of people do. Like, I judge someone driving a gas guzzler a few blocks instead of walking. I even judge myself like that; "Why am I driving our car when I should be taking the bus? I need to practice what I preach!" I do that allthe time.
If you are really the op then you’re a terrible hypocrite, but most people aren’t monitoring/actively judging people for the environmental impact of their life choices whether it be having another child or driving to run a nearby errand.
Anonymous
09/04/2022 21:31
Subject: I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You find us in the suburbs Op. We get more bang for our buck, great schools, and overall more affordable to raise a "large" family.
-Family of 6 in Burke
Yep, this. Plenty of bigger families in the burbs - we resisted for awhile but are very happy
Yep, also in Burke and my neighbors on either side have 4 kids! We stopped at 2 but sometimes I am envious
Anonymous
09/04/2022 21:30
Subject: I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
Anonymous wrote:You find us in the suburbs Op. We get more bang for our buck, great schools, and overall more affordable to raise a "large" family.
-Family of 6 in Burke
Yep, this. Plenty of bigger families in the burbs - we resisted for awhile but are very happy
Anonymous
09/04/2022 21:28
Subject: I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There's one family on our street with 4 but most have 1 or 2. There is one with 3.
Honestly, with climate change happening the environmental impacts of more than 1-2 kids are staggering, and I do think a lot of people judge based on that, but also a lot of people just don't have the time or energy or around here start older.
Do what you want, but consider ways to cut your environmental impacts.
Mmm no. Just you, really.
+1, I don’t judge at all