OP, I can totally relate. The sexual and romantic side of my marriage deteriorated over time and after I was married fifteen years that side was pretty much nonexistent. However, my H was a very good dad and pretty good husband aside from the lack of sex and affection.

I stayed for another 9 years until my youngest was out of HS. I saw no good reason to implode my kids lives for the reasons I have stated. I viewed it as selfish. I love sex, and I had some great sex in the beginning of my marriage and after my divorce, but my kids were more important to me than sex.

If you could have a sex life outside your marriage with no repercussions that would be great, but you can't.

Anonymous wrote:Op sounds like she’s 16 yo or something.

Crush on a friend?
8 yo child that mainly the husband interacts with?
May want an open marriage?

Is OP called Yoko?

Op sounds like she’s 16 yo or something.

Crush on a friend?
8 yo child that mainly the husband interacts with?
May want an open marriage?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought people w kids stay because he is a lousy dad. Plus lousy husband or whatever.

What’s stopping you from leaving? You could do 50/50 or even give him 80% custody if you need to focus on other things. It can always be changed.

DP. Interest post, pp!

I sometimes think of how easy it will be for me to divorce because my DH is a great dad. I would be very comfortable giving him 50/50 custody.

Him being a great dad is one of the main reasons why I love him. Ironically, it will also make it so much easier to divorce him if I ever decided to.

Yup, and my disaster prone, can’t connect with anyone, can’t remember to brush his own teeth spouse would make a terrible solo parent or coparent.
My life would remain hell co-parenting with him; he has mental disorders.
So divorce w kids is not an easy decision for me. I only have bad options: stay in this hell to protect the kids and compensate for their lack of a father, or cut bait and let dysfunction rule 20-50% if the time.
I’m told the dysfunctional types- if not narcissists or wealthy- give up the custody time if posed in a way to save face . Ooh, you must be so busy and important. Oh, you need some time, take a couple years to regroup.

Well....I suspect this thread did not go the way OP was expecting...

Anonymous wrote:I thought people w kids stay because he is a lousy dad. Plus lousy husband or whatever.

What’s stopping you from leaving? You could do 50/50 or even give him 80% custody if you need to focus on other things. It can always be changed.

DP. Interest post, pp!

I sometimes think of how easy it will be for me to divorce because my DH is a great dad. I would be very comfortable giving him 50/50 custody.

Him being a great dad is one of the main reasons why I love him. Ironically, it will also make it so much easier to divorce him if I ever decided to.

I thought people w kids stay because he is a lousy dad. Plus lousy husband or whatever.

What’s stopping you from leaving? You could do 50/50 or even give him 80% custody if you need to focus on other things. It can always be changed.

To sum:
Op spend little to no time educating her child during the pandemic.
Op has a crush on someone else.
Op is upset that her husband spends a lot of time of quality time with his child!
let that sink, OP is jealous of the relationship her husband has his her child!
Why is such a wonderful person so not into you op? Did you ever ask yourself what are you contributing to this dynamic? Or is it just him?

OP it sounds like your DH doesn't like YOU.