Anonymous
Post 09/02/2022 20:37     Subject: Why the conflict between older and younger women?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't care what age or gender you are, or whether you are a total stranger or a friend/family member: I don't appreciate unsolicited advice. It has nothing to do with "older women and younger women" and everything to do with...I'm just not going to play into the whole tolerant, indulgent and deferential woman thing.

Perhaps people pity you when they see you relentlessly struggle unnecessarily. Just tell them you like it as is.


Bland, disinterested smile! I hope you get the attention you so desperately seek somewhere.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2022 20:36     Subject: Why the conflict between older and younger women?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't care what age or gender you are, or whether you are a total stranger or a friend/family member: I don't appreciate unsolicited advice. It has nothing to do with "older women and younger women" and everything to do with...I'm just not going to play into the whole tolerant, indulgent and deferential woman thing.


Wow! The truth is that you probably need it more than you care to admit. Get some anger management counseling and fast.


Ask any therapist, counselor, or advice columnist if walking up to someone you don’t know and giving them unsolicited advice is a good idea or a not-so-good idea. Go on, I’ll wait.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2022 20:34     Subject: Why the conflict between older and younger women?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't care what age or gender you are, or whether you are a total stranger or a friend/family member: I don't appreciate unsolicited advice. It has nothing to do with "older women and younger women" and everything to do with...I'm just not going to play into the whole tolerant, indulgent and deferential woman thing.


But what if it was really important like you left your coffee on top of the car or your stroller is rolling down the hill?


That’s…not unsolicited advice. That’s…not what unsolicited advice is. Do you get it?
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2022 00:15     Subject: Why the conflict between older and younger women?
Anonymous wrote:I don't care what age or gender you are, or whether you are a total stranger or a friend/family member: I don't appreciate unsolicited advice. It has nothing to do with "older women and younger women" and everything to do with...I'm just not going to play into the whole tolerant, indulgent and deferential woman thing.

Perhaps people pity you when they see you relentlessly struggle unnecessarily. Just tell them you like it as is.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2022 00:08     Subject: Re:Why the conflict between older and younger women?
I don't think it is a younger or an older woman conflict. But, I do think younger women may feel more unsupported in the period when they run their own household after marriage, have young children, are working full time etc. These are usually intense period of a woman's life when it is prime child rearing and earning years, however, in most other cultures there is significant support for the women during this time.

Because of the way American society and work culture is, women are not supported. Couple that with the predominant culture where people are expected to become independent as soon as they turn 18 is also not doing these women any favor because they are lifting all the load of marriage, childcare and work without much support. If established institutions like schools shut down or become remote, they are pretty much up the $hitz creek without a paddle.
Anonymous
Post 09/01/2022 17:57     Subject: Why the conflict between older and younger women?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't care what age or gender you are, or whether you are a total stranger or a friend/family member: I don't appreciate unsolicited advice. It has nothing to do with "older women and younger women" and everything to do with...I'm just not going to play into the whole tolerant, indulgent and deferential woman thing.


Wow! The truth is that you probably need it more than you care to admit. Get some anger management counseling and fast.


Please don't get her going again.
Anonymous
Post 09/01/2022 16:42     Subject: Why the conflict between older and younger women?
Anonymous wrote:I don't care what age or gender you are, or whether you are a total stranger or a friend/family member: I don't appreciate unsolicited advice. It has nothing to do with "older women and younger women" and everything to do with...I'm just not going to play into the whole tolerant, indulgent and deferential woman thing.


Wow! The truth is that you probably need it more than you care to admit. Get some anger management counseling and fast.
Anonymous
Post 09/01/2022 16:40     Subject: Why the conflict between older and younger women?
Anonymous wrote:This isn't something that plays out in real life the way it does online.

If an older woman pulls the "just you wait" routine with me out in public, I'll give her a bland, completely disinterested smile and move on with my day.

If that same woman mopes on DCUM about some young mom who was cold to her today, I'll tell her directly that "just you wait" isn't a great way to start a conversation with someone they don't know.


Perhaps not. Time will tell. Most of us eat several plates of crow over time. Not always age related of course. But that happens too.

No one should behave as if they know more. We have no idea what someone else’s experiences are.

I’m not disagreeing with you.
Anonymous
Post 09/01/2022 16:39     Subject: Why the conflict between older and younger women?
Anonymous wrote:Spurred by the "cherish the moments" post I 'm really curious about this animosity between older and younger women. Why? What is to be lost or gained by the other? Why are the words and intentions of both so misunderstood by the other? Why do both seem unwilling to cede any ground to the other? Why the anger and name calling? Is it a mother/daughter dynamic still playing out? Is it competition for social resources? Is it lack of power in the larger culture causing the squabbles amongst them? It is really fascinating. I had no idea the animus was as deep as it apparently is.
to

I have never experienced this and I have friends 20 years younger and 20 years older
Me thinks thou art trying to stir up trouble.
Anonymous
Post 09/01/2022 16:33     Subject: Why the conflict between older and younger women?
Internalized misogyny is a thing. That said, once I deprogrammed myself from that, embraced my feminine energy, and engaged in self-love, my relationships with everyone improved. I am very distrustful of men for obvious reasons and absolutely adore and embrace my woman friends, who range in age from mid-twenties to late fifties, and seek to continue to connect with women in my workplace and community. I adore women and want us to be cherished and protected in this world.
Anonymous
Post 09/01/2022 16:18     Subject: Why the conflict between older and younger women?
Anonymous wrote:I don't care what age or gender you are, or whether you are a total stranger or a friend/family member: I don't appreciate unsolicited advice. It has nothing to do with "older women and younger women" and everything to do with...I'm just not going to play into the whole tolerant, indulgent and deferential woman thing.


But what if it was really important like you left your coffee on top of the car or your stroller is rolling down the hill?
Anonymous
Post 09/01/2022 16:16     Subject: Why the conflict between older and younger women?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Its mostly a WASP phenomenon. No one talks about it but the angry young White woman is a real thing.


Why do you think that is?


My guess is that it is partly a corollary of what White men are facing. Read "Dying of Whiteness".

They are entitled because that is how they are socialized but suddenly they see that life is not serving up to them what they think everyone else is getting. In comparison, most other races and cultures in USA have already factored in their disadvantages of being non-WASP. So their world view and life strategy already compensates for all of that. When White women see how advantageous it is that "others" are getting what is their due (McMansions in good school districts, Grandparents helping with childcare, DH helping at home, DH making a lot of money, kids going to private schools-magnets, vacations abroad, kids excelling, mostly intact families, outsourcing chores...) there is a sense of anger and being played.

Similarly, they are realizing that being in the workplace is skewed against working moms - unequal pay, inflexible work day, school closing, lack of good childcare, remote learning etc, and when they see any non-WASPs doing better they are angry.

Non-WASPs have their own struggles but they are very aware of the inequality and they, their families and communities band together to minimize that. So the younger and older women are dependent on each other and try to get along.

In reality, the America of many decades ago has disappeared. Being college educated does not get you a MC or UMC life. Especially if you are in a place like DMV. The individualistic culture of WASP families have left these women alone to juggle work, child rearing, housework etc because previous generations were able to do it much easily because of higher HHI, schools providing education and childcare and women not being in the workforce in such large numbers. Now they feel slammed.




Really interesting and thoughtful thank you. Gonna chew on that a bit.
Anonymous
Post 09/01/2022 16:01     Subject: Why the conflict between older and younger women?
Anonymous wrote:Its mostly a WASP phenomenon. No one talks about it but the angry young White woman is a real thing.


Not all white women are WASPs. Why the particular focus on this subset? Do many women even identify this way?
Anonymous
Post 09/01/2022 15:57     Subject: Why the conflict between older and younger women?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Its mostly a WASP phenomenon. No one talks about it but the angry young White woman is a real thing.


Why do you think that is?


My guess is that it is partly a corollary of what White men are facing. Read "Dying of Whiteness".

They are entitled because that is how they are socialized but suddenly they see that life is not serving up to them what they think everyone else is getting. In comparison, most other races and cultures in USA have already factored in their disadvantages of being non-WASP. So their world view and life strategy already compensates for all of that. When White women see how advantageous it is that "others" are getting what is their due (McMansions in good school districts, Grandparents helping with childcare, DH helping at home, DH making a lot of money, kids going to private schools-magnets, vacations abroad, kids excelling, mostly intact families, outsourcing chores...) there is a sense of anger and being played.

Similarly, they are realizing that being in the workplace is skewed against working moms - unequal pay, inflexible work day, school closing, lack of good childcare, remote learning etc, and when they see any non-WASPs doing better they are angry.

Non-WASPs have their own struggles but they are very aware of the inequality and they, their families and communities band together to minimize that. So the younger and older women are dependent on each other and try to get along.

In reality, the America of many decades ago has disappeared. Being college educated does not get you a MC or UMC life. Especially if you are in a place like DMV. The individualistic culture of WASP families have left these women alone to juggle work, child rearing, housework etc because previous generations were able to do it much easily because of higher HHI, schools providing education and childcare and women not being in the workforce in such large numbers. Now they feel slammed.


Anonymous
Post 09/01/2022 15:54     Subject: Why the conflict between older and younger women?
I don't necessarily think it's indicative of general conflict between older and younger women. Two people can have a conflict on this particular issue but still be close. It's just a case of two people coming from very different perspectives, and sometimes that can lead to worse things like name calling but usually doesn't.