Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll tell you what my pediatrician would say about this.

She'd tell you to ignore the behavior. If your child will hurt herself if you ignore the tantrum then you may need to place her in a safe area or even put a helmet on her. She'd also say that you need 7 positive interactions for every one negative interaction and encourage you to heap more praise on the child in general.

This is TERRIBLE advice. And it’s also why you don’t ask the pediatrician for behavioral or psychological advice.

Anonymous wrote:I'll tell you what my pediatrician would say about this.

She'd tell you to ignore the behavior. If your child will hurt herself if you ignore the tantrum then you may need to place her in a safe area or even put a helmet on her. She'd also say that you need 7 positive interactions for every one negative interaction and encourage you to heap more praise on the child in general.

Anonymous wrote:I'll tell you what my pediatrician would say about this.

She'd tell you to ignore the behavior. If your child will hurt herself if you ignore the tantrum then you may need to place her in a safe area or even put a helmet on her. She'd also say that you need 7 positive interactions for every one negative interaction and encourage you to heap more praise on the child in general.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do I help my daughter who struggles with emotional regulation? She's 3 and when told no or basically anytime she can't do precisely what she wants she loses control and sometimes can't seem to get herself calmed down for 30-45 minutes or longer. When she loses control she tends to run around singing or screaming and throwing stuff and if you get close to her she will try to kick you/hit you (she knows we are coming to take her to a place to help her calm down and she doesn't want that). One the one hand I think this is fairly normal 3 year old behavior, i.e. she throws a tantrum when she doesn't get what she wants. On the other hand I think the level of the running and screaming and the duration it lasts is a bit unusual, especially combined with the fact that there doesn't seem to be anything we can do to help end it sooner. We've tried talking about big feelings, and have read all the books on big feelings. In calm moments we've tried to give her other strategies than running and screaming. We've been at it for more than 6 months and there seems to be no change in her behavior either good or bad. Our current strategy is just ignoring her as much as possible and waiting for her to stop on her own as long as she isn't hurting herself, anyone else or being too destructive. Usually she stops after 30-45 minutes, sometimes faster, sometimes longer. Her preschool has also commented on this behavior, but so far don't have any suggestions, and haven't come up with a way to control it either, so sometimes we get called to pick her up.

If I wanted to be proactive about trying to manage this what would I do? Does she need to see a developmental pediatrician? Someone else?

My kid is like this and was throughout the 3s - he still is at 4.5 and our tantrums last over an hour. It’s gotten better but it’s still garbage. So the answer is I think it’s normal and you endure every day and dreaming of when they’re 18 and out of your house. Can you tell today has been one of this garbage days with a tantrum at every moment?

Anonymous wrote:It's the duration and intensity, OP. This was my son at three. We did all the same things-the books, the talking, the timeouts, etc. Nothing worked. By five he was diagnosed with severe ADHD. Speaking from that experience, if you wait it will only get worse and more destructive.

Not trying to internet diagnose for you as it could be a few things, but please get on a waitlist for a child psychologist. The process can take months. In the meantime, schedule an appointment with your pediatrician to discuss. I'd also look up the difference between a meltdown and a tantrum. That was eye-opening for us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do I help my daughter who struggles with emotional regulation? She's 3 and when told no or basically anytime she can't do precisely what she wants she loses control and sometimes can't seem to get herself calmed down for 30-45 minutes or longer. When she loses control she tends to run around singing or screaming and throwing stuff and if you get close to her she will try to kick you/hit you (she knows we are coming to take her to a place to help her calm down and she doesn't want that). One the one hand I think this is fairly normal 3 year old behavior, i.e. she throws a tantrum when she doesn't get what she wants. On the other hand I think the level of the running and screaming and the duration it lasts is a bit unusual, especially combined with the fact that there doesn't seem to be anything we can do to help end it sooner. We've tried talking about big feelings, and have read all the books on big feelings. In calm moments we've tried to give her other strategies than running and screaming. We've been at it for more than 6 months and there seems to be no change in her behavior either good or bad. Our current strategy is just ignoring her as much as possible and waiting for her to stop on her own as long as she isn't hurting herself, anyone else or being too destructive. Usually she stops after 30-45 minutes, sometimes faster, sometimes longer. Her preschool has also commented on this behavior, but so far don't have any suggestions, and haven't come up with a way to control it either, so sometimes we get called to pick her up.

If I wanted to be proactive about trying to manage this what would I do? Does she need to see a developmental pediatrician? Someone else?

My kid is like this and was throughout the 3s - he still is at 4.5 and our tantrums last over an hour. It’s gotten better but it’s still garbage. So the answer is I think it’s normal and you endure every day and dreaming of when they’re 18 and out of your house. Can you tell today has been one of this garbage days with a tantrum at every moment?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the duration and intensity, OP. This was my son at three. We did all the same things-the books, the talking, the timeouts, etc. Nothing worked. By five he was diagnosed with severe ADHD. Speaking from that experience, if you wait it will only get worse and more destructive.

Not trying to internet diagnose for you as it could be a few things, but please get on a waitlist for a child psychologist. The process can take months. In the meantime, schedule an appointment with your pediatrician to discuss. I'd also look up the difference between a meltdown and a tantrum. That was eye-opening for us.

I'm the PP and wanted to add this link (https://www.additudemag.com/toddler-tantrums-adhd-emotions-early-signs/). I wish I'd found it when he was three. It would have saved two more years and a Kindergarten start from hell. Please take a look and see if your DD hits on any of the other symptoms. There's also a helpful comparison of what is developmental age appropriate behavior. Very helpful. Again, not trying to internet diagnose, but the more knowledge you have, the better prepared you'll be.

Anonymous wrote:How do I help my daughter who struggles with emotional regulation? She's 3 and when told no or basically anytime she can't do precisely what she wants she loses control and sometimes can't seem to get herself calmed down for 30-45 minutes or longer. When she loses control she tends to run around singing or screaming and throwing stuff and if you get close to her she will try to kick you/hit you (she knows we are coming to take her to a place to help her calm down and she doesn't want that). One the one hand I think this is fairly normal 3 year old behavior, i.e. she throws a tantrum when she doesn't get what she wants. On the other hand I think the level of the running and screaming and the duration it lasts is a bit unusual, especially combined with the fact that there doesn't seem to be anything we can do to help end it sooner. We've tried talking about big feelings, and have read all the books on big feelings. In calm moments we've tried to give her other strategies than running and screaming. We've been at it for more than 6 months and there seems to be no change in her behavior either good or bad. Our current strategy is just ignoring her as much as possible and waiting for her to stop on her own as long as she isn't hurting herself, anyone else or being too destructive. Usually she stops after 30-45 minutes, sometimes faster, sometimes longer. Her preschool has also commented on this behavior, but so far don't have any suggestions, and haven't come up with a way to control it either, so sometimes we get called to pick her up.

If I wanted to be proactive about trying to manage this what would I do? Does she need to see a developmental pediatrician? Someone else?