Anonymous wrote:Working parents need aftercare, for both their sanity, their child's happiness, and their employers commitment. Don't blame your kid for not being able to entertain themselves; that's not their job. It's your job to provide them the attention they need, which you can't do when you're working.

It's fine every now and then to have your kid watch a movie or set up new legos or a scavenger hunt around the yard to waste time. It's not fine every single day.

These posts really kill me. Just because you work from home does not mean you don't need childcare! Come on, create some normal boundaries and be responsible!

So wait, are you saying it's not an important skill for kids to be able to entertain themselves?

Working parents need aftercare, for both their sanity, their child's happiness, and their employers commitment. Don't blame your kid for not being able to entertain themselves; that's not their job. It's your job to provide them the attention they need, which you can't do when you're working.

It's fine every now and then to have your kid watch a movie or set up new legos or a scavenger hunt around the yard to waste time. It's not fine every single day.

These posts really kill me. Just because you work from home does not mean you don't need childcare! Come on, create some normal boundaries and be responsible!

Mine has to do homework.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do working parents think they don't need aftercare? Its not your kid's fault for not wanting to be along and entertain himself.

I think the question should be “how can people be actually working when they are watching a young child?”
I have a job with a lot of flexibility over the summer, so my kids aren’t in camp every single week, but that means I’m working at night after they’re in bed.

They can't. The child is either on screens, or the parent is not focused on work which is not fair to the employer. I get that most parents don't care though.

Yeah my DH gets off at 4 but often just transitions into playing video games and pretending he's still working.

Yikes, that would infuriate me.

My DD has Irish dance one night a week from 4:45pm-5:45pm, we usually go to the library once a week, playground occasionally. Otherwise at home, she can watch a show after school, arts and crafts, she plays barbies/dollhouse, we work on our garden.

She's at aftercare til 4pm then it's really only an hour to fill because we eat at 5/5:30pm then do bath/shower, set out clothes for the next day, pack lunch, read a couple books, and bed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do working parents think they don't need aftercare? Its not your kid's fault for not wanting to be along and entertain himself.

I think the question should be “how can people be actually working when they are watching a young child?”
I have a job with a lot of flexibility over the summer, so my kids aren’t in camp every single week, but that means I’m working at night after they’re in bed.

They can't. The child is either on screens, or the parent is not focused on work which is not fair to the employer. I get that most parents don't care though.

Yeah my DH gets off at 4 but often just transitions into playing video games and pretending he's still working.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks all. PP was spot on. Our aftercare is subpar and DC asked not to go back this year. If they're going to watch movies every day at aftercare, we can do that at home just as well. We considered a college student, but DC has a class twice a week and it seemed pretty difficult to find someone for only MWF for 2-3 hours. If the first month goes terribly, we'll reconsider and try to find something more structured.

My kids were not able to entertain themselves more than 30 minutes at that age. And I didn't let them play outside unsupervised until probably age 8 or so. Plus not many kids are home from aftercare/activities so there are few kids for them to play with, and none they really mesh with.

OP here. Thanks all. PP was spot on. Our aftercare is subpar and DC asked not to go back this year. If they're going to watch movies every day at aftercare, we can do that at home just as well. We considered a college student, but DC has a class twice a week and it seemed pretty difficult to find someone for only MWF for 2-3 hours. If the first month goes terribly, we'll reconsider and try to find something more structured.

They play outside either by themselves (shoot hoops, scooter, chalk, whatever) or with neighborhood kids.
After screen and snack they know to go outside. It breaks up the late afternoon and gets them hungry for dinner.

Soccer 1x/week.

Scouts starting soon.

I similarly have a lot of WFH flexibility, but we hired a college student to pick them up and do activities with them until dinner. It's just more stimulation and attention for them. If I wrap up work early I send our after school sitter home early (but with full pay), run errands, or take some solo time to exercise. Worth every penny.

If you knew you were never going to be out of the house and wanted to save money, you could look for a mothers' helper/teen a few days a week to come over and do activities with them.

Our nanny picks the kids up and they either eat a snack on the way to their after-school activity or come home, eat a snack and then go. Then they come home from that, wash up and get ready for dinner, do their chores, read, etc.

My kindergartner and 2nd grader come home. They get off the bus at 4pm and we are home by 4:15. They get a snack, color or play together and then we go get their brother from daycare around 5ish. I am finishing up work, making dinner and helping with homework (once that starts). I also make my older daughter read to me for 15 minutes before we leave.

I don’t know. That’s up to him.

He has to tell me if he is going to leave the house/yard or use the oven. If there is something I think he will enjoy (new book or game), then I leave it somewhere visible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do working parents think they don't need aftercare? Its not your kid's fault for not wanting to be along and entertain himself.

Interesting, I personally think it's better that the child go home and still have access to parents appropriately but be at home vs an aftercare situation.

Not if the parents are working. I think parents of young kids who work don’t do aftercare or some other planned activity after school for most days of the week just don’t want to spend the money - they don’t think that what they’re doing is “better” for the kid, they think it’s better for their pocketbook. I’m not saying that’s not valid but let’s not pretend the parent thinks the kid is better off with that arrangement.

I disagree. The OP just stated that her after care situation is sub par.

This is what I've known as a previous after school camp counselor as a teen.

After care facilities cost money but in general are a holding place for your child until you can pick them up. Lots of Lord of the Fly behavior on the playground with a blind eye on the playground by staff, movies, coloring sheets, etc...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do working parents think they don't need aftercare? Its not your kid's fault for not wanting to be along and entertain himself.

I think the question should be “how can people be actually working when they are watching a young child?”
I have a job with a lot of flexibility over the summer, so my kids aren’t in camp every single week, but that means I’m working at night after they’re in bed.

They can't. The child is either on screens, or the parent is not focused on work which is not fair to the employer. I get that most parents don't care though.

It really depends on your job and how you work. I’m an editor and my job is not heavy on meetings. Even before kids, a typical day for me was to start work early (7 or 7:30), work intensely 4 hours, come up for air/phone calls/food, then 2 more hours of intense focus, then administrative work the rest of the day. It’s common for me to do markups in the evening or on the weekend to accommodate deadlines.

This has translated so easily to parenting, especially with WFH. My partner handles mornings, and I’m around afternoons/evenings with no real impact on my work output. I’m also far enough into my career that there are things I’m valued for that would be challenging to find someone with enough experience to do as well or as quickly. My colleagues are fully aware of my work schedule and I block out time on my calendar when I’m with my kid. It’s transparent and works for everyone.

Not all jobs are like this but more could be. This is something I sought out before I had kids because it appeals to my strengths and work habits. I do not do well in environments with lots of meetings or where my work is disrupted often.