OP, there’s a really good reason why most women do not decide to wait until their late 40s to have a second pregnancy or 50s to adopt. Menopause does horrible things to your brain, ability to sleep, energy levels, etc. Brain fog while parenting adolescents isn’t fun, but it could be seriously dangerous if you have an infant of toddler. I had my youngest in my mid-thirties and she didn’t sleep through the night until she was three due to some health issues. If you plan to hire FT childcare, including a night nanny, you might be fine. But I don’t think you’ll have the energy for a Black Diamond if you are dealing with a refluxy baby and your own night sweats for months on end.

Anonymous wrote:Most men in their 40s still have a very healthy sex drive. And can and want sex everyday. That won't be your issue. The having a kid late 40s will be.

This!

Anonymous wrote:Most men in their 40s still have a very healthy sex drive. And can and want sex everyday. That won't be your issue. The having a kid late 40s will be.

Most men in their 40s also have younger kids..

Anonymous wrote:Ignore the haters, OP. I’m a lot like you, I love to travel, love adventures, I’m mid-30s but plan on adopting or fostering once my bio kids are a bit older.

It’s not crazy to want those things in men, and there are plenty of those kinds of men available. Regardless of what kind of man you want, OLD is pretty much the same, 99% of the interest you get is from people you aren’t compatible with. But there will definitely be the few who are exactly what you’re looking for, just gotta sift through the compost to find the gem.

Just make it clear on your profile what life you live - include plenty of pictures of travel and adventures, list them all, and say you’re looking for someone with a similar lifestyle. You’ll get plenty of interest.

I always like doing hikes as first dates, so I can see what they’re made of, lol.

Sure, all that's fine. It's her plan to have a kid or adopt at kid when she's around 50 that's the issue here. Even the "gems" are not likely to be up for that.

Anonymous wrote:OP here: we had a very intense romance with exH, got married after a year of dating very early when I was 22. He wasn’t an “old fart” at his 36. In fact, he was very physically attractive and we had a good sex luge for the first 3 years of marriage (particular after birth when I got more curves). But then he cooled off and focused on his career. I am as much a gold digger as anyone who marries rich and successful men.

I have a very athletic adolescent son and as I was a “tiger” mom all I do in sports is basically from participating in his life and activities. I think people just don’t understand why toddlers are cranky; they are bored at home ! Toddler boys need constant switch of activities, scenery, physical activity to sleep abs eat well. My son traveled internationally at age 1; we just carried him along in a seat on our shoulders. He windsurfs since 7, bikes since 5 and so on. Traveling is fun with little kids. I have 3 female friends in their 50s who had kids later in life. One mom us 62 and she had twins at 48. She divorced her husband but having kids that late in her life was the best thing she did. She travels with her daughter, they are best friends with her son and she has tons of money to support her kids.

I do think often that people underestimate how increased life expectancy changes things. If average longevity of women who are now in their 20s would be 94 yo, why not having kids later in life? I am open to adopt, use a donor egg, or a surrogate. My projected longevity is 84-89 yo. My grandma was working till age 69 as a pharmacy director and died at 89. She did all kinds of things in between, including helping to raise 3 grandkids. What am I supposed to do for the next 50 years of my life???

If I don’t meet someone by my 50 yo I am certain to adopt.

"I do think that people underestimate how increased life expectancy changes things."

Oh, OP, you are underestimating how much work a kid will be -- if you even are able to have a healthy kid and stay healthy yourself, or even if you are able to adopt (or still want to adopt) as a 50-year-old single woman.

Life expectancy is not at all the same thing as quality of life.

And "What am I supposed to do for the next 50 years of my life???" -- WOW. You seem unaware that a child is not a way to fill your time and stay occupied. A child is a commitment you seem to think you can schedule perfectly and raise ideally because you're so active now, but any child you have might not fit your idealized plans. I don't think you've even remotely considered what happens if your child has disabilities (a possibiltiy that increases with every year older you are, yes, even if your own health is just fine, OP) or if your child is fine but isn't the person or personality I suspect you're picturing alongside you as you hike and have it all....

But I'm going to stop because you are past listening to anyone but yourself at this point, I think.

Ignore the haters, OP. I’m a lot like you, I love to travel, love adventures, I’m mid-30s but plan on adopting or fostering once my bio kids are a bit older.

It’s not crazy to want those things in men, and there are plenty of those kinds of men available. Regardless of what kind of man you want, OLD is pretty much the same, 99% of the interest you get is from people you aren’t compatible with. But there will definitely be the few who are exactly what you’re looking for, just gotta sift through the compost to find the gem.

Just make it clear on your profile what life you live - include plenty of pictures of travel and adventures, list them all, and say you’re looking for someone with a similar lifestyle. You’ll get plenty of interest.

I always like doing hikes as first dates, so I can see what they’re made of, lol.

Anonymous wrote:OP here: we had a very intense romance with exH, got married after a year of dating very early when I was 22. He wasn’t an “old fart” at his 36. In fact, he was very physically attractive and we had a good sex luge for the first 3 years of marriage (particular after birth when I got more curves). But then he cooled off and focused on his career. I am as much a gold digger as anyone who marries rich and successful men.

I have a very athletic adolescent son and as I was a “tiger” mom all I do in sports is basically from participating in his life and activities. I think people just don’t understand why toddlers are cranky; they are bored at home ! Toddler boys need constant switch of activities, scenery, physical activity to sleep abs eat well. My son traveled internationally at age 1; we just carried him along in a seat on our shoulders. He windsurfs since 7, bikes since 5 and so on. Traveling is fun with little kids. I have 3 female friends in their 50s who had kids later in life. One mom us 62 and she had twins at 48. She divorced her husband but having kids that late in her life was the best thing she did. She travels with her daughter, they are best friends with her son and she has tons of money to support her kids.

I do think often that people underestimate how increased life expectancy changes things. If average longevity of women who are now in their 20s would be 94 yo, why not having kids later in life? I am open to adopt, use a donor egg, or a surrogate. My projected longevity is 84-89 yo. My grandma was working till age 69 as a pharmacy director and died at 89. She did all kinds of things in between, including helping to raise 3 grandkids. What am I supposed to do for the next 50 years of my life???

If I don’t meet someone by my 50 yo I am certain to adopt.

Too old.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re not having another child in your late 40s. You’re too old now.

That stood out to me too. Late 40s, wtf?!?! She wants another kid at almost 50?

This is such a troll post.

I love these gold diggers that marry for money and get an old stodgy dude and then after they pop out a kid snd get his $ they want sympathy. Who knew he’d not like to do the same things as someone 15-20 years younger or that his D wouldn’t work as well in a short amount of time after marriage???

And immediately on to baiting and switching the next one.

Op here: it’s been over 2 years since my divorce I haven’t dated anyone

OP here: we had a very intense romance with exH, got married after a year of dating very early when I was 22. He wasn’t an “old fart” at his 36. In fact, he was very physically attractive and we had a good sex luge for the first 3 years of marriage (particular after birth when I got more curves). But then he cooled off and focused on his career. I am as much a gold digger as anyone who marries rich and successful men.

I have a very athletic adolescent son and as I was a “tiger” mom all I do in sports is basically from participating in his life and activities. I think people just don’t understand why toddlers are cranky; they are bored at home ! Toddler boys need constant switch of activities, scenery, physical activity to sleep abs eat well. My son traveled internationally at age 1; we just carried him along in a seat on our shoulders. He windsurfs since 7, bikes since 5 and so on. Traveling is fun with little kids. I have 3 female friends in their 50s who had kids later in life. One mom us 62 and she had twins at 48. She divorced her husband but having kids that late in her life was the best thing she did. She travels with her daughter, they are best friends with her son and she has tons of money to support her kids.

I do think often that people underestimate how increased life expectancy changes things. If average longevity of women who are now in their 20s would be 94 yo, why not having kids later in life? I am open to adopt, use a donor egg, or a surrogate. My projected longevity is 84-89 yo. My grandma was working till age 69 as a pharmacy director and died at 89. She did all kinds of things in between, including helping to raise 3 grandkids. What am I supposed to do for the next 50 years of my life???

If I don’t meet someone by my 50 yo I am certain to adopt.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re not having another child in your late 40s. You’re too old now.

That stood out to me too. Late 40s, wtf?!?! She wants another kid at almost 50?

This is such a troll post.

I love these gold diggers that marry for money and get an old stodgy dude and then after they pop out a kid snd get his $ they want sympathy. Who knew he’d not like to do the same things as someone 15-20 years younger or that his D wouldn’t work as well in a short amount of time after marriage???

. I mean, OP did say she was never sexually satisfied and he did not share the same interests as her. As a young, fit, active, and zesty woman not sure why you would marry an old dusty toad unless for money. 💁‍♀️ It is what it is, I guess. Some people don’t marry for love.

Yeah, troll post. Has to be. No one this worldly actually is this ignorant about the chances of getting pregnant at 47 which is very close to zero.

Don't bother with your anecdotes about someone you know who did this, you can Google the odds of this and it's way lower than 5%.

And that should be 48 to 70, not 58 to 70, above....so, 22 years if you include college....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re not having another child in your late 40s. You’re too old now.

That stood out to me too. Late 40s, wtf?!?! She wants another kid at almost 50?

This is such a troll post.

Age 48-- has the baby.
50--toddler getting into everything, adorable but a huge amount of work. She figures she'll farm that out to a nanny during the days, maybe?
55--second grader, wanting activities, I guess the nanny drives and OP doesn't really see the kid that much. Dad? What dad?
60--has a middle schooler
66--child is graduating from high school and starting college
66-70 -- child is in college (and OP today has no idea how much she will still be involved with, concerned about, helping out a college age kid)
70s -- OP loves her kid but might resent that she spent from 58 to 70 focused on her kid, just as she now resents spending 18 years focused on her ex-DH

That's reality but OP's post smacks of newfound freedom after a long marriage to the wrong man for her, and she's high on that freedom and not looking ahead practically.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re not having another child in your late 40s. You’re too old now.

That stood out to me too. Late 40s, wtf?!?! She wants another kid at almost 50?

This is such a troll post.

I love these gold diggers that marry for money and get an old stodgy dude and then after they pop out a kid snd get his $ they want sympathy. Who knew he’d not like to do the same things as someone 15-20 years younger or that his D wouldn’t work as well in a short amount of time after marriage???

And immediately on to baiting and switching the next one.

Ha you sound awesome and I would love to be your friend.

Don’t compromise. Just have fun - maybe consider dating younger men in their 30s with no kids. The right match may come along but if not - better to be alone than stuck with a man you don’t fit with.