Anonymous
Post 08/27/2022 22:16     Subject: Re:shoes in house -awkward
Anonymous wrote:OP here- no judgement towards people who have a no-shoe policy. We actually also remove our shoes in our home but when guests come over, we never ask them to. Seems forward to me? Whatever- the point is that I had zero issue with taking off my shoes. I wish I had removed that a second time to walk through the kitchen to the front door. I also wish she hadn't complained to someone else about it. Embarrassing and uncomfortable all arouond!


I would most offended at this mutual “friend”

While yes, this isn’t that big of deal, and yes the host shouldn’t have brought it up to this mutual friend, I don’t consider this to be huge gossip. We all complain sometimes to a friend about someone we both may know from time to time. But to go and REPEAT something like this to you is low. She is a drama starter.
Anonymous
Post 08/27/2022 19:45     Subject: shoes in house -awkward
Anonymous wrote:It's really easy. If you ask someone to not wear shoes in the house, or just share that they generally don't wear shoes in the house, then take off your shoes. Whether it's for an hour or for walking from one door to another, the problem (for those who don't wear shoes in the house) is that the dirt, the germs, the fragments of dog poop, I95 rest stop urinal slop, or stones that scratch the wood floors happen in the first steps.

Having grown up in farm country, where everyone took off their shoes, it's bizarre to me to traipse around town or the canal path and then traipse through one's own house, let alone another's.


You are a sociopath.
Anonymous
Post 08/27/2022 19:40     Subject: Re:shoes in house -awkward
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here- no judgement towards people who have a no-shoe policy. We actually also remove our shoes in our home but when guests come over, we never ask them to. Seems forward to me? Whatever- the point is that I had zero issue with taking off my shoes. I wish I had removed that a second time to walk through the kitchen to the front door. I also wish she hadn't complained to someone else about it. Embarrassing and uncomfortable all arouond!


Troll.

No one has a shoes-off policy for themselves but not the guests. You're really going to have a playdate where your kids have no shoes and the guests have shoes? I've lived in many countries and have seen many things, but not that.

You're just creating a scenario to rile people up.



What? We are a mostly shoes off house but I do not ask guests to take their shoes off because I want them to feel comfortable. I let them ask and say whichever they prefer. This is not uncommon.


Same! My husband is Asian American, and I grew up in Appalachia, so we are definitely a shoes-off house. We don’t ask guests to take theirs off, though. Some people ask if they should, and we tell them to do what’s most comfortable for them.
Anonymous
Post 08/27/2022 19:34     Subject: Re:shoes in house -awkward
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here- no judgement towards people who have a no-shoe policy. We actually also remove our shoes in our home but when guests come over, we never ask them to. Seems forward to me? Whatever- the point is that I had zero issue with taking off my shoes. I wish I had removed that a second time to walk through the kitchen to the front door. I also wish she hadn't complained to someone else about it. Embarrassing and uncomfortable all arouond!


Troll.

No one has a shoes-off policy for themselves but not the guests. You're really going to have a playdate where your kids have no shoes and the guests have shoes? I've lived in many countries and have seen many things, but not that.

You're just creating a scenario to rile people up.



What? We are a mostly shoes off house but I do not ask guests to take their shoes off because I want them to feel comfortable. I let them ask and say whichever they prefer. This is not uncommon.
Anonymous
Post 08/27/2022 19:31     Subject: Re:shoes in house -awkward
Anonymous wrote:OP here- no judgement towards people who have a no-shoe policy. We actually also remove our shoes in our home but when guests come over, we never ask them to. Seems forward to me? Whatever- the point is that I had zero issue with taking off my shoes. I wish I had removed that a second time to walk through the kitchen to the front door. I also wish she hadn't complained to someone else about it. Embarrassing and uncomfortable all arouond!


I am like you OP. I would not have thought to remove my shoes a second time. A few steps with shoes should not be a big deal. Or she should have said something.
Anonymous
Post 08/27/2022 19:31     Subject: Re:shoes in house -awkward
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here- no judgement towards people who have a no-shoe policy. We actually also remove our shoes in our home but when guests come over, we never ask them to. Seems forward to me? Whatever- the point is that I had zero issue with taking off my shoes. I wish I had removed that a second time to walk through the kitchen to the front door. I also wish she hadn't complained to someone else about it. Embarrassing and uncomfortable all arouond!


Troll.

No one has a shoes-off policy for themselves but not the guests. You're really going to have a playdate where your kids have no shoes and the guests have shoes? I've lived in many countries and have seen many things, but not that.

You're just creating a scenario to rile people up.



NP. That’s not so. My husband and I have a shoes-off (me) or indoor shoes (him) policy for ourselves, but we don’t ask our guests to take their shoes off. Some do, some don’t. It’s all good—our floors are hardwood and easily cleaned.
Anonymous
Post 08/27/2022 19:28     Subject: Re:shoes in house -awkward
Anonymous wrote:OP here- no judgement towards people who have a no-shoe policy. We actually also remove our shoes in our home but when guests come over, we never ask them to. Seems forward to me? Whatever- the point is that I had zero issue with taking off my shoes. I wish I had removed that a second time to walk through the kitchen to the front door. I also wish she hadn't complained to someone else about it. Embarrassing and uncomfortable all arouond!


Troll.

No one has a shoes-off policy for themselves but not the guests. You're really going to have a playdate where your kids have no shoes and the guests have shoes? I've lived in many countries and have seen many things, but not that.

You're just creating a scenario to rile people up.

Anonymous
Post 08/27/2022 19:26     Subject: shoes in house -awkward
Anonymous wrote:I feel so funny about this situation. Playdate with a newer friend. We had never been to their house before. When we arrived, we entered through their side door and she promptly asked us to take our shoes off. Of course, we did. When it was time to leave, my child and I sat and put our sneakers back on. We went to exit out the kitchen door but there was a sprinkler running right in front of the door. I said "could we go out the front?" and she said "sure!" so we walked through the house and left though the front. Apparently, she later complained to a mutual friend that we walked through their house with shoes on, when she made it clear they were a no-shoe house. Now I feel terribly embarrassed. I'm annoyed that she left out the detail about the sprinkler, but I still wish I had just taken off our shoes to walk through. Is that an obvious thing to do?

We never ask guests to take off their shoes so I have a different perspective.


We do not wear shoes in the inside as a rule. It's disgusting if you actually think about what happens when you do. My friends and guests know we don't wear shoes and take them off. We offer socks and flip flops (new) if they want. If I ask you to take your shoes off and you ignore me, yeh I talk about you.
Anonymous
Post 08/27/2022 19:24     Subject: shoes in house -awkward
Anonymous wrote:OP now you know the play date host and the mutual “friend” are not friends at all.


I’m guessing OP wasn’t going to get a repeat invite anyway.
Anonymous
Post 08/27/2022 19:23     Subject: shoes in house -awkward
I’d be annoyed if you walked through my house with shoes. You should have carried them through.

The only time I wouldn’t do that is if someone’s house is a barn anyway (indoor pets).
Anonymous
Post 08/27/2022 19:19     Subject: Re:shoes in house -awkward
That is an obvious thing to do. You were thoughtless.
Anonymous
Post 08/27/2022 19:17     Subject: shoes in house -awkward
OP now you know the play date host and the mutual “friend” are not friends at all.
Anonymous
Post 08/27/2022 19:17     Subject: Re:shoes in house -awkward
Anonymous wrote:OP here- no judgement towards people who have a no-shoe policy. We actually also remove our shoes in our home but when guests come over, we never ask them to. Seems forward to me? Whatever- the point is that I had zero issue with taking off my shoes. I wish I had removed that a second time to walk through the kitchen to the front door. I also wish she hadn't complained to someone else about it. Embarrassing and uncomfortable all arouond!


It’s all a blessing in disguise. You now know what kind of person she is so you know to keep your distance.
Anonymous
Post 08/27/2022 19:15     Subject: shoes in house -awkward
Anonymous wrote:It's really easy. If you ask someone to not wear shoes in the house, or just share that they generally don't wear shoes in the house, then take off your shoes. Whether it's for an hour or for walking from one door to another, the problem (for those who don't wear shoes in the house) is that the dirt, the germs, the fragments of dog poop, I95 rest stop urinal slop, or stones that scratch the wood floors happen in the first steps.

Having grown up in farm country, where everyone took off their shoes, it's bizarre to me to traipse around town or the canal path and then traipse through one's own house, let alone another's.


Part of hosting is making your guests feel welcome. Would it be so hard for the host mom to simply mop/vacuum the path OP and her child took from back door to front door? Instead she badmouthed her guest to a third party. OP, this woman is not a good person and I wouldn’t interact with her or the child again.
Anonymous
Post 08/27/2022 19:13     Subject: Re:shoes in house -awkward
OP here- no judgement towards people who have a no-shoe policy. We actually also remove our shoes in our home but when guests come over, we never ask them to. Seems forward to me? Whatever- the point is that I had zero issue with taking off my shoes. I wish I had removed that a second time to walk through the kitchen to the front door. I also wish she hadn't complained to someone else about it. Embarrassing and uncomfortable all arouond!