Anonymous wrote:My parents basically paid my way through life into early adulthood. School (no loans), cars (no car note), and gave me down payment for my first house. A lot of people assume if you do that for your kids, they’ll be irresponsible, but quite the opposite. Also, life is so expensive now, so in reality, it was merely a head start. I make decent/good money as an attorney, but I’m not filthy rich on my own…yet. I live on a budget, and my parents still offer to help me, but I try to do most things on my own. I’ve saved but have been impacted by 401k and stock market like everyone else. I’m thankful for my parents and will care for them in old age, even though they did long term care. I won’t let them go to a nursing home.

Sweet family.

My parents basically paid my way through life into early adulthood. School (no loans), cars (no car note), and gave me down payment for my first house. A lot of people assume if you do that for your kids, they’ll be irresponsible, but quite the opposite. Also, life is so expensive now, so in reality, it was merely a head start. I make decent/good money as an attorney, but I’m not filthy rich on my own…yet. I live on a budget, and my parents still offer to help me, but I try to do most things on my own. I’ve saved but have been impacted by 401k and stock market like everyone else. I’m thankful for my parents and will care for them in old age, even though they did long term care. I won’t let them go to a nursing home.

Anonymous wrote:As an aging rich kid, ime it’s better to pay your kid’s rent then to buy a property for them to live in. It just feels better that way. Try to make the rent assistance in the realm of what they could afford on their own. A realm is big. But I’m the realm.

*in the realm*

As an aging rich kid, ime it’s better to pay your kid’s rent then to buy a property for them to live in. It just feels better that way. Try to make the rent assistance in the realm of what they could afford on their own. A realm is big. But I’m the realm.

Nope. Daughter was looking for a townhome for three years and couldn’t find one. We offered to help to bump up budget but then Covid hit and she had an opportunity to work tons of overtime and she was able do it herself.

Usually this means you fiancé it and they go in the deed, only them. Preferable one person.

Way too many strings attached with multiple people in a deed. This is very misinformed Old Country where some uncle convinced everyone it will save a bundle in any death or inheritance tax and suddenly your’re backstopping a cousins heloc.

My parents paid 1/3 of the down payment for my first condo in DC (280k), my grandmother paid a third and I paid a third. I was able to pay this third because (a) my grandfather left me money when he died, (b) I’d lived at home for my first year and a half after college and saved my salary and (c) had no student loans (parents paid for college and I paid for grad school with a combination of an academic scholarship and a job working for a professor.). So although it was “my” money my family obviously had set me up to be able to pay my portion. I also covered the closing costs associated with the sale. Once it was mine, I paid for all the associated costs (taxes, insurance, repairs, painting, condo fees etc) though I think my parents’ Xmas present to me one year was chipping in about $500 toward fixing my broken heater. I lived there 10 years which enabled me to save up a ton of my money (condo fees were way less than rent would be.) For 6 of those years my husband lived there too. We sold it when we moved for his job. The company paid all the fees and we didn’t want to manage from afar, but sold it for less than I’d bought it for. That said, it was still a good decision as I would have lost more in rent over the years (all in, the condo probably cost me on average $700 a month, rent would have been a lot more.) We live in a very expensive area now so have rented since moving. I’d like to own again at some point, but the homes here start over $2 million.

My DH has been supporting his mom since last 33 years.

Our parents didn't leave us any inheritance but we are doing fine and even paid for their living for two decades.

Queen left Charles $500 million. Some people are born privileged, most of us can't even help them pay off their student loans.

Anonymous wrote:We immigrated here and struggled financially for many years because of our visa status. I have only been able to provide paid college and new cars for my kids. I will at some point pay for their weddings. Other than that, they are welcome to stay with us for as long as they want without paying rent or groceries.

I wish I could buy them a house, but we will probably only give them $50 K to use as they see fit.

Better to give money for house then for events, let them have weddings they and their partners can afford.

Anonymous wrote:We immigrated here and struggled financially for many years because of our visa status. I have only been able to provide paid college and new cars for my kids. I will at some point pay for their weddings. Other than that, they are welcome to stay with us for as long as they want without paying rent or groceries.

I wish I could buy them a house, but we will probably only give them $50 K to use as they see fit.

That's very generous.

We immigrated here and struggled financially for many years because of our visa status. I have only been able to provide paid college and new cars for my kids. I will at some point pay for their weddings. Other than that, they are welcome to stay with us for as long as they want without paying rent or groceries.

I wish I could buy them a house, but we will probably only give them $50 K to use as they see fit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our in-laws lent us down payment for our first house and had us sign papers it was loan. Our bad in that there were no specific terms discussed other than don’t repay until
You can refi after appreciation. When we refinanced two years later and asked amount to repay they decided it was only fair to calculate ‘what they would have gotten if that money had been invested’ - calculated using an above market return. Again - our bad we didn’t get details. Foolishly assumed they’d match market mortgage rate or honestly give us a deal. (They are very well off.)! Yes - helped us get foot in door on nicer house than we could have afforded but left really bad feelings in my mind. DH not phased but I would not use my kids as easy marks to make $$$. In the end we would have done better getting lesser house at good mortgage and cashed in equity and moved.

Right after the wedding, my mother and father in-law, bought DH and I a brand new 2M+ SFH and they paid off the mortgage in cash. We only have to pay the property tax on the house. They are such wonderful people. They also gave us 500k for DH and I to start our new life together. Not that it makes any difference but I am white and DH is asian. They always treat me as if I am their own daughter.

I’m also white with an Asian DH and the amount of cash support from his parents is mind blowing to me. I do well for myself now making $300k+ but I come from a lower class family that has never had much money to speak of and certainly doesn’t think the best use of it is to set your kids up with a head start in life - the culture is it’s morally correct to make your kids earn their own way. That attitude is maladaptive in the current economic structure and i will not be propagating it to my kids.

Eastern European here, my parents immigrated to the US so they can make their own way as the only friends of theirs that had money are the ones who's parents had money (mostly through communist connections as the pre WW2 riches were taken through "nationailization"). it is sad that the US is becoming like this--it is hard to make your own way and the only way to live prosperously as a young adult is by having your parents pay your way. i am not criticizing the parents (I plan to help my kids) but rather criticizing what America is becoming.

My Dad gifted me $100K towards our 3rd house so we could keep the 2nd home we owned to rent out. This worked out perfect.