Disciplined is planning and commiting to mealtimes (Breakfast at 7, lunch at noon, and dinner at 7) so that you avoid voracious snacking because you are too hungry. Disordered is refusing to have dinner because there was you had to work late and you got home at 8 PM rather than 7.

Height, weight, age, calories eaten in a day, any food you won’t eat because you might get fat?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is your bmi? If it's above 18 and below 23 you don't have an eating disorder, case closed

My chubby bulimic cousin would disagree.

What about your normal sized cousin with bulimia? I think everybody knows that people with high BMIs have an eating disorder.

Here’s the thing, OP, if you are worried that when your daughter reflects upon your behavior and your focus on your body composition and your eating habits she’ll copy you and possibly get an eating disorder, then you have an eating disorder

It is horrific to put yourself through bulimia and not even have the pay off of being thin. I'd be so pissed. It's been rough for my cousin and I realize the eating disorder is about so much more than wanting to be thin.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just the fact thst you talk about being disciplined about food and exercise shows that at the very least you have a disordered relationship with your weight.

This type of thinking is why the vast majority of you are overweight.

Looks like someone’s mommy didn’t make their favorite fish sticks TV dinner last night.

Anonymous wrote:Just the fact thst you talk about being disciplined about food and exercise shows that at the very least you have a disordered relationship with your weight.

This type of thinking is why the vast majority of you are overweight.

BMI is a wildly inaccurate, sexist, and racist means of determining healthy weight, FYI

I think disordered eating and maintaining a very small frame at any cost are very normalized (and celebrated) behaviors for women in our society, even among medical professionals, so I think finding true understanding of the above is going to be hard for you, OP.

I still want to know OP’s BMI. I am curious why people think she has an eating disorder. I am lean with a BMI of around 18.5 or 19. I am conscious of my diet and exercise because I want to be strong and healthy. But if I talked about diet all the time and worked out obsessively, I think people who are heavier than me might wonder. I also have a teenage daughter and I never talk about my weight or hers, though we do talk about nutrition as a family as we are all active, athletic people. There is always a line, but no one knows whether you’ve past it except you or you doctor/s.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think restricting food to attain muscle definition is an eating disorder. I’m right in the normal BMI range, but to stay there in middle age means food restriction for many women (including me).

I don’t know where that line is, but I can’t agree that disciplined eating is the deciding factor. In fact it’s something more Americans should be doing IMO.

The OP works out “hard and often” and diets to get a “very lean frame.” Those aren’t red flags for you?

Some people need to restrict their diets for medical reasons. Wanting to look skinny isn’t a medical reason. More Americans should eat less and eat less processed foods and should move more. That’s not the same as the kind of rigid discipline the OP describes.

Working out hard and often should be the norm. Somewhere in the range of 4-6 days a week is right for me, but people have different needs. A very lean frame is consistent with OP’s goal to attain muscle definition. As long as your body is getting the nutrients it needs, and your diet and exercise regimen isn’t causing other issues with spending time with family, work performance or enjoying time with friends, I consider it normal.

I think most people have some form of "disordered eating", some extreme, some not. To all those who are "triggered" by other peoples disorders you need to get off this forum.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is your bmi? If it's above 18 and below 23 you don't have an eating disorder, case closed

My chubby bulimic cousin would disagree.

What about your normal sized cousin with bulimia? I think everybody knows that people with high BMIs have an eating disorder.

Here’s the thing, OP, if you are worried that when your daughter reflects upon your behavior and your focus on your body composition and your eating habits she’ll copy you and possibly get an eating disorder, then you have an eating disorder

The fact that OP seems almost proud that she looks like she has an ED, is what triggers me. I've been there. Go talk to a therapist. Please.

Anonymous wrote:What is your bmi? If it's above 18 and below 23 you don't have an eating disorder, case closed

My chubby bulimic cousin would disagree.

We don't know what your "disciplined dieting" consists of. But if you are already so lean that you look like you have an ED and still consider yourself to be endlessly "dieting" then that might warrant a closer look.

Your daughter is getting the message that you place great value on having a certain body type. If she does not naturally have that body type, then she will get the message that there is something wrong with her body and she may try to change it - even if you don't think your food and exercise behaviors don't impact her because you try not to talk about them.

Could you tolerate having a child who is a normal, healthy weight but not skinny, even though that body type might disgust you? My perpetually dieting mom couldn't and as I hit the teen years, I got occasional loaded comments from her (I was not overweight or even close to it). It didn't take much. I ended up being <90 pounds in college. It took me another 25+ years to normalize my relationship with food.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think restricting food to attain muscle definition is an eating disorder. I’m right in the normal BMI range, but to stay there in middle age means food restriction for many women (including me).

I don’t know where that line is, but I can’t agree that disciplined eating is the deciding factor. In fact it’s something more Americans should be doing IMO.

The OP works out “hard and often” and diets to get a “very lean frame.” Those aren’t red flags for you?

Some people need to restrict their diets for medical reasons. Wanting to look skinny isn’t a medical reason. More Americans should eat less and eat less processed foods and should move more. That’s not the same as the kind of rigid discipline the OP describes.