Op here, thank you for the insightful responses. Since the sudden death of my ex when they were younger, I often feel immense guilt re: big decisions that could impact them emotionally. All of my decisions have been in direct alignment with what is best for them; I would like to take advantage of the opportunity, but I don't want them to feel another sudden abandonment/upheaval.

I will discuss it with my therapist but greatly appreciate the outside perspectives.

Anonymous wrote:IDK my parents sold our home and moved many states away the day I graduated HS. So, all visits after that was going to a place I had no connection to. And here's what happened and I consider it advantages: I began my adult life, I think earlier than most. I began early thinking about my future, my plans, where I wanted to settle eventually. Second, if I wanted to go back to my old "home" area, that was something I had to arrange. Be in touch with old friends, finance it, make it happen.

+1. My parents did the same thing. I went to college and never looked back.

These are grown adults. They can handle not seeing their childhood home for a year.

Anonymous wrote:If you leave it empty, you'll get mice. 100%

Really? Why/how??

Anonymous wrote:They’re old enough to get an apartment. Your house stopped being their house at 18.

+1 cut the cord

Anonymous wrote:I know lots of kids whose parents moved permanently while they were in college. They all adjusted and visited mom and dad at their new home.

+1 -- One of my DD's friends is in this situation -- her parents moved to CA in the fall of her sophomore year of college -- and it's worked out fine. She spent the summer in the city where she attends college and has come back to DC occasionally to visit, staying with our family (she is a delightful young woman and a welcome houseguest). Our DD and other friends from here have also loved visiting the CA family in their new home. (DH and I are headed out there in October.) Really, this sounds like a wonderful opportunity for your sons to get to know the west coast, as well as a great career opportunity for you.

Your sons are adults. Why do you need to provide housing for them? They aren't capable of supporting themselves? Adults need to adult.

If you leave it empty, you'll get mice. 100%

I would rent it. They may be doing their own things over the summer. If they end up in Seattle plan lots of exploring of the area...every weekend is a staycation. So much to do.

I wouldn't rent it out as you can get a lot of damage especially if you leave your stuff. I'd let the kids choose where they want to go for a summer and ask/pay someone to check on the house and set up camera's. Hire a lawn company and maybe even a cleaning company to come once a month. Forward your mail.

Your kids should be working during their breaks. Their jobs should cover the sublet they live in while working. Or they can live with you and have a job in Seattle

Anonymous wrote:What does LA have to do with it?

Sorry. There are several spots out West and LA is one that I was also considering but my preference is Seattle. I started typing each location in the caption but but forgot to change it.

They’re old enough to get an apartment. Your house stopped being their house at 18.

Definitely rent it out! If you are up for the challenge of getting the house ready for renters, I would definitely NOT keep the house vacant for an entire year just so your adult kids can have Santa come to their childhood home and they can spend summer with whichever of their childhood friends still live in the neighborhood. Hopefully they will love visiting you in LA, but even if you were going to be in the middle of nowhere, they could handle it for a few weeks out of the year. Both of my parents moved to different states far from where I grew up and far from each other, when I was in college (they are divorced). I stopped coming home for entire summers after my sophomore year, I’d spend a week visiting each parent at the beginning or end, and then Thanksgiving in one city and then Christmas in another etc. You will be in an exciting place with room for them to stay with you when they choose, so maybe it will encourage them to get summer jobs in LA instead of where they are!

Take the money you earn from renting the house and plan a family trip!

What does LA have to do with it?

Rent it out! They’ll come see you for a week at Christmas break but they’ll probably stay at the school for summer with jobs or internships. You don’t need to give them free housing at that age!