Anonymous
08/13/2022 14:28
Subject: Re:Do you consider ADHD "special needs"?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:As a kid I was diagnosed with LDs. I required specialized services throughout school to help me learn. I graduated in the top 10% of my class from high school and went on to earn a PhD. That doesn’t means that I didn’t require special services to meet my needs. I used those special services to be able to attain success in school. My Mom spent a lot of time fighting for those services and providing additional supports so that I could succeed.
I was very much a special needs kid.
As an adult I was diagnosed with ADHD. It only reinforced to me how differently I see process information and respond to stimulation around me. I now understand why I get agitated in high stimulation environments and why I struggle with some regular scenarios, like in conversations where I find it hard not to interrupt and why I blurt out information. I am lucky to work in an environment where those issues have no caused me any problems and where I can make a very nice salary but I am pretty well aware that there are many environments where I would struggle. My work place has lots of open seating but they have always found a desk for me in a smaller room. They are fine with my using headphones when most people are discouraged from doing so. They have been accommodating of my quirks.
I am very much an adult with special needs.
Are my needs so great that I would be unable to function without accommodations? Probably not. Would I be in a very different place if I had not received the support I did in school or the accommodations I receive at work? Hell yeah. 100% I would have had a very different life.
There is nothing wrong with being different and knowing that you need some accommodations.
There is so much unacknowledged privilege in this comment I don't even know where to start.
This is why it is sometimes annoying when people with mild ADHD say they are special needs.
DP. You should reread the post since you didn't read it closely enough the first time.
Anonymous
08/13/2022 14:12
Subject: Re:Do you consider ADHD "special needs"?
Anonymous wrote:As a kid I was diagnosed with LDs. I required specialized services throughout school to help me learn. I graduated in the top 10% of my class from high school and went on to earn a PhD. That doesn’t means that I didn’t require special services to meet my needs. I used those special services to be able to attain success in school. My Mom spent a lot of time fighting for those services and providing additional supports so that I could succeed.
I was very much a special needs kid.
As an adult I was diagnosed with ADHD. It only reinforced to me how differently I see process information and respond to stimulation around me. I now understand why I get agitated in high stimulation environments and why I struggle with some regular scenarios, like in conversations where I find it hard not to interrupt and why I blurt out information. I am lucky to work in an environment where those issues have no caused me any problems and where I can make a very nice salary but I am pretty well aware that there are many environments where I would struggle. My work place has lots of open seating but they have always found a desk for me in a smaller room. They are fine with my using headphones when most people are discouraged from doing so. They have been accommodating of my quirks.
I am very much an adult with special needs.
Are my needs so great that I would be unable to function without accommodations? Probably not. Would I be in a very different place if I had not received the support I did in school or the accommodations I receive at work? Hell yeah. 100% I would have had a very different life.
There is nothing wrong with being different and knowing that you need some accommodations.
There is so much unacknowledged privilege in this comment I don't even know where to start.
This is why it is sometimes annoying when people with mild ADHD say they are special needs.
Anonymous
08/13/2022 14:10
Subject: Do you consider ADHD "special needs"?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:“Neurotypical” really refers to autism. People with ADHD typically don’t have the same issues with interpersonal relationships and friendships, and don’t have the very different type of information processing and way of seeing the world as kids with autism. I don’t think it’s correct to lump them together.
Now somebody will say “it’s all on a spectrum!”. OK fine but then none of this has any meaning.
Many of the kids with "just" ADHD in my child's school have more issues with interpersonal relationships and friendships than the one child who I know has an ASD diagnosis.
The diagnoses are not as rigid as you think.
My ADHD daughter has difficulties with interpersonal relationships (although in a different way then children with autism); and she definitely processes information and sees the world differently than others.
But not in the same way as autism. There is an autistic brain that recognizes patterns in a way that is different from other brains - that’s why you have autistic geniuses. People with autism think differently.
Anonymous
08/13/2022 14:09
Subject: Re:Do you consider ADHD "special needs"?
Your daughter is literally special needs in that she has some special needs (i.e. she needs assistance to help manage her ADHD).
But I get what you are saying and in your case, I'd agree that no, she is not a "special needs child" in the sense of this forum or most school or activity settings. It sounds like her ADHD is relatively mild, like yours. There may even be upsides to it. In cases like this, I think it's perfectly valid to minimize your child's diagnosis with them as long as you are getting them the treatment, support they need to manage it. It sounds like she doesn't need lots of school accommodations and that her ADHD doesn't inhibit socializing either. In that case, there's no reason for her teachers or peers to even make much deference to her ADHD.
Look, all kids have "special needs" to some degree -- kids are different and they need different kinds of support and assistance. There are kids who don't have a diagnosis of any kind who may need some special support that your kid doesn't.
I think the category of "special needs kids" should be reserved for kids who need more support than what their parents can offer independently without much help (no special therapies, IEPs, or other major accommodations). I think this designation is important because it helps to remind people to be a bit deferential towards kids who are struggling in these ways and to understand why some kids might get more or different resources in a school or social setting and be okay with it. I don't think your DD falls in that category.
But I get what you are saying and in your case, I'd agree that no, she is not a "special needs child" in the sense of this forum or most school or activity settings. It sounds like her ADHD is relatively mild, like yours. There may even be upsides to it. In cases like this, I think it's perfectly valid to minimize your child's diagnosis with them as long as you are getting them the treatment, support they need to manage it. It sounds like she doesn't need lots of school accommodations and that her ADHD doesn't inhibit socializing either. In that case, there's no reason for her teachers or peers to even make much deference to her ADHD.
Look, all kids have "special needs" to some degree -- kids are different and they need different kinds of support and assistance. There are kids who don't have a diagnosis of any kind who may need some special support that your kid doesn't.
I think the category of "special needs kids" should be reserved for kids who need more support than what their parents can offer independently without much help (no special therapies, IEPs, or other major accommodations). I think this designation is important because it helps to remind people to be a bit deferential towards kids who are struggling in these ways and to understand why some kids might get more or different resources in a school or social setting and be okay with it. I don't think your DD falls in that category.
Anonymous
08/13/2022 14:04
Subject: Re:Do you consider ADHD "special needs"?
Anonymous wrote:When my 7 year old was diagnosed with ADHD, I felt like it might be a slap in the face to parents of children with far greater needs if I lumped my kid in with special needs children. I mean, my child could walk and talk and feed and dress herself and toilet independently and didn’t need any special education services. I thought calling my child special needs might be viewed by special needs parents the same way someone who is 70 pounds overweight might view someone else claiming they’re fat when they only need/want to lose 5 pounds. There was this uncertainty about whether my child’s needs were significant enough to warrant the special needs label.
My child was also diagnosed with ASD a few years later. At this point, I have no issue thinking of her as a special needs child.
TBH most (but not all) parents on the SN forum here have kids on the very mildly affected end of the spectrum of needs. If your kid is mainstreamed, going to college, etc, they may need more support than the average kids, but you should keep it in perspective.
Anonymous
08/13/2022 14:02
Subject: Do you consider ADHD "special needs"?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:“Neurotypical” really refers to autism. People with ADHD typically don’t have the same issues with interpersonal relationships and friendships, and don’t have the very different type of information processing and way of seeing the world as kids with autism. I don’t think it’s correct to lump them together.
Now somebody will say “it’s all on a spectrum!”. OK fine but then none of this has any meaning.
No it doesn’t just refer to autism. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurodiversity
Yeah that’s the watered down “everyone is special” version. Pretty useless.
Anonymous
08/13/2022 11:53
Subject: Re:Do you consider ADHD "special needs"?
I consider my 17-year-old with ADHD to have special needs.
Anonymous
08/13/2022 11:42
Subject: Re:Do you consider ADHD "special needs"?
When my 7 year old was diagnosed with ADHD, I felt like it might be a slap in the face to parents of children with far greater needs if I lumped my kid in with special needs children. I mean, my child could walk and talk and feed and dress herself and toilet independently and didn’t need any special education services. I thought calling my child special needs might be viewed by special needs parents the same way someone who is 70 pounds overweight might view someone else claiming they’re fat when they only need/want to lose 5 pounds. There was this uncertainty about whether my child’s needs were significant enough to warrant the special needs label.
My child was also diagnosed with ASD a few years later. At this point, I have no issue thinking of her as a special needs child.
My child was also diagnosed with ASD a few years later. At this point, I have no issue thinking of her as a special needs child.
Anonymous
08/13/2022 11:15
Subject: Re:Do you consider ADHD "special needs"?
It's a spectrum and depends on the individual. I don't necessarily consider my ADHD kid "special needs" but he certainly takes more careful management and consideration from our family than my kid with dyslexia, which is also in a "special needs" category.
Anonymous
08/13/2022 10:57
Subject: Do you consider ADHD "special needs"?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:“Neurotypical” really refers to autism. People with ADHD typically don’t have the same issues with interpersonal relationships and friendships, and don’t have the very different type of information processing and way of seeing the world as kids with autism. I don’t think it’s correct to lump them together.
Now somebody will say “it’s all on a spectrum!”. OK fine but then none of this has any meaning.
Many of the kids with "just" ADHD in my child's school have more issues with interpersonal relationships and friendships than the one child who I know has an ASD diagnosis.
The diagnoses are not as rigid as you think.
My ADHD daughter has difficulties with interpersonal relationships (although in a different way then children with autism); and she definitely processes information and sees the world differently than others.
Anonymous
08/13/2022 10:51
Subject: Do you consider ADHD "special needs"?
People with ADHD definitely have special needs, but as a matter of legal terminology for schools and as a practical matter.
That doesn’t mean that each person, nueortypical or not, is unique and has needs that differ from others. But those with ADHD have greater needs than others. For instance, my children need more help than others cleaning their rooms; they cannot be expected to clean them independently on the same timeline as a neurotypical kid. My cousin, who has severe ADHD, is brilliant but cannot sit and read books or articles. So at work he needs a program that will read them for him. Those are both special needs.
Please don’t downplay the seriousness of ADHD to make your child feel better. It won’t make her feel better, it will likely just make her feel inadequate. Understanding the seriousness of ADHD is the foundation of managing it, both as an individual who has adhd and as a parent to a kid with ADHD.
And sadly, you’re wrong about meds. Meds aren’t a magic bullet, sadly. Your child will most likely still need some accommodations even with meds.
That doesn’t mean that each person, nueortypical or not, is unique and has needs that differ from others. But those with ADHD have greater needs than others. For instance, my children need more help than others cleaning their rooms; they cannot be expected to clean them independently on the same timeline as a neurotypical kid. My cousin, who has severe ADHD, is brilliant but cannot sit and read books or articles. So at work he needs a program that will read them for him. Those are both special needs.
Please don’t downplay the seriousness of ADHD to make your child feel better. It won’t make her feel better, it will likely just make her feel inadequate. Understanding the seriousness of ADHD is the foundation of managing it, both as an individual who has adhd and as a parent to a kid with ADHD.
And sadly, you’re wrong about meds. Meds aren’t a magic bullet, sadly. Your child will most likely still need some accommodations even with meds.
Anonymous
08/13/2022 10:45
Subject: Do you consider ADHD "special needs"?
Anonymous wrote:“Neurotypical” really refers to autism. People with ADHD typically don’t have the same issues with interpersonal relationships and friendships, and don’t have the very different type of information processing and way of seeing the world as kids with autism. I don’t think it’s correct to lump them together.
Now somebody will say “it’s all on a spectrum!”. OK fine but then none of this has any meaning.
No it doesn’t just refer to autism. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurodiversity
Anonymous
08/13/2022 10:40
Subject: Re:Do you consider ADHD "special needs"?
As a kid I was diagnosed with LDs. I required specialized services throughout school to help me learn. I graduated in the top 10% of my class from high school and went on to earn a PhD. That doesn’t means that I didn’t require special services to meet my needs. I used those special services to be able to attain success in school. My Mom spent a lot of time fighting for those services and providing additional supports so that I could succeed.
I was very much a special needs kid.
As an adult I was diagnosed with ADHD. It only reinforced to me how differently I see process information and respond to stimulation around me. I now understand why I get agitated in high stimulation environments and why I struggle with some regular scenarios, like in conversations where I find it hard not to interrupt and why I blurt out information. I am lucky to work in an environment where those issues have no caused me any problems and where I can make a very nice salary but I am pretty well aware that there are many environments where I would struggle. My work place has lots of open seating but they have always found a desk for me in a smaller room. They are fine with my using headphones when most people are discouraged from doing so. They have been accommodating of my quirks.
I am very much an adult with special needs.
Are my needs so great that I would be unable to function without accommodations? Probably not. Would I be in a very different place if I had not received the support I did in school or the accommodations I receive at work? Hell yeah. 100% I would have had a very different life.
There is nothing wrong with being different and knowing that you need some accommodations.
I was very much a special needs kid.
As an adult I was diagnosed with ADHD. It only reinforced to me how differently I see process information and respond to stimulation around me. I now understand why I get agitated in high stimulation environments and why I struggle with some regular scenarios, like in conversations where I find it hard not to interrupt and why I blurt out information. I am lucky to work in an environment where those issues have no caused me any problems and where I can make a very nice salary but I am pretty well aware that there are many environments where I would struggle. My work place has lots of open seating but they have always found a desk for me in a smaller room. They are fine with my using headphones when most people are discouraged from doing so. They have been accommodating of my quirks.
I am very much an adult with special needs.
Are my needs so great that I would be unable to function without accommodations? Probably not. Would I be in a very different place if I had not received the support I did in school or the accommodations I receive at work? Hell yeah. 100% I would have had a very different life.
There is nothing wrong with being different and knowing that you need some accommodations.
Anonymous
08/13/2022 10:00
Subject: Do you consider ADHD "special needs"?
Sure it is. There's a lot of space between "catastrophizing" and recognizing that you sought a dx for her because things weren't going perfectly. She has some special needs, which sound mild right now. Someone with ADHD is by definition not neurotypical.
There is a wide range of behaviors and outcomes with ADHD and your ability to compensate really well for your ADHD might or might not be your daughter's experience. I think you have to be open-minded to the idea that what worked for you might or might not work for her. She may be affected differently, either because of who she is or the expectations of the time period in which she is growing up, or her personality, or any number of things. She may need more support than you did, or different things. My anecdotal experience is that traits which are subclinical/mild in the parents can be pretty significant in the offspring (ie, my dh and I are both subclinically or mildly ADHD, in a way that has not interfered with our lives, but our kids are a different story). It can be hard to come to terms with. Good luck!
There is a wide range of behaviors and outcomes with ADHD and your ability to compensate really well for your ADHD might or might not be your daughter's experience. I think you have to be open-minded to the idea that what worked for you might or might not work for her. She may be affected differently, either because of who she is or the expectations of the time period in which she is growing up, or her personality, or any number of things. She may need more support than you did, or different things. My anecdotal experience is that traits which are subclinical/mild in the parents can be pretty significant in the offspring (ie, my dh and I are both subclinically or mildly ADHD, in a way that has not interfered with our lives, but our kids are a different story). It can be hard to come to terms with. Good luck!
Anonymous
08/13/2022 09:44
Subject: Do you consider ADHD "special needs"?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:“Neurotypical” really refers to autism. People with ADHD typically don’t have the same issues with interpersonal relationships and friendships, and don’t have the very different type of information processing and way of seeing the world as kids with autism. I don’t think it’s correct to lump them together.
Now somebody will say “it’s all on a spectrum!”. OK fine but then none of this has any meaning.
Many of the kids with "just" ADHD in my child's school have more issues with interpersonal relationships and friendships than the one child who I know has an ASD diagnosis.
The diagnoses are not as rigid as you think.
yeah I knew you were going to try to claim that. if you’re going to deny that the primary criteria for autism is social communication impairment, we may as well call everyone whatever we want.