Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is your son getting to private school? What will you do for before/after care? Where in DC will you be working?

I ask bc I was a regular metro commuter (live near West Falls Church station) and metro has become very unreliable recently. If I was a single mom commuting to DC I would want to drive, and also to make sure I had coverage for my son after school.

OP here. That is good to know. He's going to Catholic school. Morning care begins at 6:40 am and is available after school until 6. Because of the nature of my job, I will likely also need to hire a PT nanny until 9pm. I will be working near Metro Center.

Ideally, I would move closer to DC with my son, but my co-parent would resist that as much as possible given that he lives in Manassas.

That's rough OP. A long day 640am till 9pm bed time without you, iwith boat loads of catholic 4th grader homework. You may want to consider moving west closer to your ex where it's cheap and find an easier job with move conventional hours.

OP here. Thanks for the response. Extended day begins at 6:40, but I don't anticipate I will need to be using extended day that early. Nor do I want him staying at extended day until 6pm every day either. As far as PT nanny, I'm more than sure I will not need a nanny every night until 9pm, but from what I hear and have seen on this site, nannie require guaranteed hours. The idea being, I could get home at 6:30pm some nights, 8pm others, etc. and not need the nanny until 9pm. Regardless, they would be paid until 9pm is my understanding. I'm trying to plan for worst case possible which is 9pm.

I went to Catholic school for elementary & graduated from Catholic HS in 2015. I saw how Catholic school assigned more homework than my public-school peers (although it wasn't unbearable and taught time- management skills at an early age) so that is something I will keep in mind as far as getting home as quick as I can from work.

I also know the schedule generally will not be the easiest and it does break my heart. If I had all the money in the world, I'd work PT/more regular hours or be a stay-at-home mom while also giving him the life I want him to have. But that's just not the case for me, unfortunately. I have talked to working mothers at my job, and they shared that this is something they all struggle with internally. Based on their advice, my goal is to spend as much quality time as possible with my son while outsourcing other household needs (ex: maid, laundry, etc.) For now, that's my plan!

Plus, I did not work my butt off to graduate law school w/ my son while homeschooling him during a pandemic, land a great job in DC, JUST to give that all up to follow my co-parent, his now wife, and baby they have together. Although, I'm sure their reaction would be hysterical if I shared with them that I'd be akin to neighbors to them. It makes me laugh just thinking about it haha.

I truly appreciate your comment and it is something that I will consider. But as a thought experiment, would you have suggested this if roles were reversed? Say I was the dad making more $$ than my female co-parent Would you have suggested that I, the dad, give up my well-paying job and move closer to my (less paid) female co-parent? No judgment either way... just an interesting thought.

I’m not the PP, but I’d take a hard look at how much your co-parent is actually co-parenting before making a housing decision. If he’s an every other weekend kind of dad, move to Courthouse or Ballston and send your kid to St. Charles. Your day to day needs to come before his convenience if you’re the primary parent. I’d it’s more closer to equitable then yeah, I’d look at Vienna near metro. I don’t mean to be harsh but as a 25-year old mom of a 10 year old, your needs and interests are going to be aligned with people in their 40s and 50s rather than their 20s.

OP here. Thanks for the comment, not harsh at all. We follow an almost 70-30 schedule (he's a little less than 30). Ever since he's married he has contested a lot more, for example, all of a sudden had a problem w/ Catholic school. So I came up with Vienna as a location that's closer to DC but also not so far to where I thought he'd have a reasonable ground to contest in court. Basically, I tried to come up with a solution that would keep coparent at bay. I also thought about my son having to travel from that area all the way to Manassas every other friday/to school during his dad's custodial time. I thought Manassas to Fairfax/Vienna would be better than Manassas to Arlington (or Alexandria, which I also considered too) as far as commute/sitting in traffic goes.

I will think about this & get legal advice, because I think you have valid point. Plus, this issue could come up in 4 years for HS (ex: O'Connell). There are so many considerations here, so I really appreciate any input/opinion.

Also, generally speaking, I thought Arlington was younger (single people in their 20's) because I know a LOT of my friends my age live/go out there every weekend. On the other hand, I thought Vienna was a bit older with families & more kid friendly? Am I wrong about this? Is it more of a mix in Arlington? Thank you!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is your son getting to private school? What will you do for before/after care? Where in DC will you be working?

I ask bc I was a regular metro commuter (live near West Falls Church station) and metro has become very unreliable recently. If I was a single mom commuting to DC I would want to drive, and also to make sure I had coverage for my son after school.

OP here. That is good to know. He's going to Catholic school. Morning care begins at 6:40 am and is available after school until 6. Because of the nature of my job, I will likely also need to hire a PT nanny until 9pm. I will be working near Metro Center.

Ideally, I would move closer to DC with my son, but my co-parent would resist that as much as possible given that he lives in Manassas.

That's rough OP. A long day 640am till 9pm bed time without you, iwith boat loads of catholic 4th grader homework. You may want to consider moving west closer to your ex where it's cheap and find an easier job with move conventional hours.

OP here. Thanks for the response. Extended day begins at 6:40, but I don't anticipate I will need to be using extended day that early. Nor do I want him staying at extended day until 6pm every day either. As far as PT nanny, I'm more than sure I will not need a nanny every night until 9pm, but from what I hear and have seen on this site, nannie require guaranteed hours. The idea being, I could get home at 6:30pm some nights, 8pm others, etc. and not need the nanny until 9pm. Regardless, they would be paid until 9pm is my understanding. I'm trying to plan for worst case possible which is 9pm.

I went to Catholic school for elementary & graduated from Catholic HS in 2015. I saw how Catholic school assigned more homework than my public-school peers (although it wasn't unbearable and taught time- management skills at an early age) so that is something I will keep in mind as far as getting home as quick as I can from work.

I also know the schedule generally will not be the easiest and it does break my heart. If I had all the money in the world, I'd work PT/more regular hours or be a stay-at-home mom while also giving him the life I want him to have. But that's just not the case for me, unfortunately. I have talked to working mothers at my job, and they shared that this is something they all struggle with internally. Based on their advice, my goal is to spend as much quality time as possible with my son while outsourcing other household needs (ex: maid, laundry, etc.) For now, that's my plan!

Plus, I did not work my butt off to graduate law school w/ my son while homeschooling him during a pandemic, land a great job in DC, JUST to give that all up to follow my co-parent, his now wife, and baby they have together. Although, I'm sure their reaction would be hysterical if I shared with them that I'd be akin to neighbors to them. It makes me laugh just thinking about it haha.

I truly appreciate your comment and it is something that I will consider. But as a thought experiment, would you have suggested this if roles were reversed? Say I was the dad making more $$ than my female co-parent Would you have suggested that I, the dad, give up my well-paying job and move closer to my (less paid) female co-parent? No judgment either way... just an interesting thought.

I’m not the PP, but I’d take a hard look at how much your co-parent is actually co-parenting before making a housing decision. If he’s an every other weekend kind of dad, move to Courthouse or Ballston and send your kid to St. Charles. Your day to day needs to come before his convenience if you’re the primary parent. I’d it’s more closer to equitable then yeah, I’d look at Vienna near metro. I don’t mean to be harsh but as a 25-year old mom of a 10 year old, your needs and interests are going to be aligned with people in their 40s and 50s rather than their 20s.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is your son getting to private school? What will you do for before/after care? Where in DC will you be working?

I ask bc I was a regular metro commuter (live near West Falls Church station) and metro has become very unreliable recently. If I was a single mom commuting to DC I would want to drive, and also to make sure I had coverage for my son after school.

OP here. That is good to know. He's going to Catholic school. Morning care begins at 6:40 am and is available after school until 6. Because of the nature of my job, I will likely also need to hire a PT nanny until 9pm. I will be working near Metro Center.

Ideally, I would move closer to DC with my son, but my co-parent would resist that as much as possible given that he lives in Manassas.

That's rough OP. A long day 640am till 9pm bed time without you, iwith boat loads of catholic 4th grader homework. You may want to consider moving west closer to your ex where it's cheap and find an easier job with move conventional hours.

OP here. Thanks for the response. Extended day begins at 6:40, but I don't anticipate I will need to be using extended day that early. Nor do I want him staying at extended day until 6pm every day either. As far as PT nanny, I'm more than sure I will not need a nanny every night until 9pm, but from what I hear and have seen on this site, nannie require guaranteed hours. The idea being, I could get home at 6:30pm some nights, 8pm others, etc. and not need the nanny until 9pm. Regardless, they would be paid until 9pm is my understanding. I'm trying to plan for worst case possible which is 9pm.

I went to Catholic school for elementary & graduated from Catholic HS in 2015. I saw how Catholic school assigned more homework than my public-school peers (although it wasn't unbearable and taught time- management skills at an early age) so that is something I will keep in mind as far as getting home as quick as I can from work.

I also know the schedule generally will not be the easiest and it does break my heart. If I had all the money in the world, I'd work PT/more regular hours or be a stay-at-home mom while also giving him the life I want him to have. But that's just not the case for me, unfortunately. I have talked to working mothers at my job, and they shared that this is something they all struggle with internally. Based on their advice, my goal is to spend as much quality time as possible with my son while outsourcing other household needs (ex: maid, laundry, etc.) For now, that's my plan!

Plus, I did not work my butt off to graduate law school w/ my son while homeschooling him during a pandemic, land a great job in DC, JUST to give that all up to follow my co-parent, his now wife, and baby they have together. Although, I'm sure their reaction would be hysterical if I shared with them that I'd be akin to neighbors to them. It makes me laugh just thinking about it haha.

I truly appreciate your comment and it is something that I will consider. But as a thought experiment, would you have suggested this if roles were reversed? Say I was the dad making more $$ than my female co-parent Would you have suggested that I, the dad, give up my well-paying job and move closer to my (less paid) female co-parent? No judgment either way... just an interesting thought.

Anonymous wrote:I see the bus drop off kids at mosaic so there are families living there but bet there are more in the Vienna metro area. Mosaic seems more weekendy fun vs something that feels more homey.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can recommend the Country Creek neighborhood near Vienna Metro. It's an easy walk to the train, and family friendly with lots of kids. I recently moved away but miss it.

I don't know where in Mosaic I could let my ES kid run around, so I'd look elsewhere for that reason.

+1. You aren't going to be wslking around the mosaic shops and restaurants on week nights, and your son isn't going to want to do that with you in a few years. Mossic is going to be something you do on the occasional wknd. For proximity to metro, neighborhood feel, great park for walking, baseball, tennis, etc, and a good public HS, you should go with the THs on the north side of the metro.

Anonymous wrote:I can recommend the Country Creek neighborhood near Vienna Metro. It's an easy walk to the train, and family friendly with lots of kids. I recently moved away but miss it.

I don't know where in Mosaic I could let my ES kid run around, so I'd look elsewhere for that reason.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is your son getting to private school? What will you do for before/after care? Where in DC will you be working?

I ask bc I was a regular metro commuter (live near West Falls Church station) and metro has become very unreliable recently. If I was a single mom commuting to DC I would want to drive, and also to make sure I had coverage for my son after school.

OP here. That is good to know. He's going to Catholic school. Morning care begins at 6:40 am and is available after school until 6. Because of the nature of my job, I will likely also need to hire a PT nanny until 9pm. I will be working near Metro Center.

Ideally, I would move closer to DC with my son, but my co-parent would resist that as much as possible given that he lives in Manassas.

That's rough OP. A long day 640am till 9pm bed time without you, iwith boat loads of catholic 4th grader homework. You may want to consider moving west closer to your ex where it's cheap and find an easier job with move conventional hours.