Just don’t respond

Anonymous wrote:I'd "forget" to contribute. Then if the host follows up, say you prefer to do an individual gift.

No op don’t do this absurd childish behavior

Just say you already bought them something and go on with your life.

I think the evite set up is weird but wouldn’t you usually get a baby gift anyway for the person? If I contributed to this I probably would skip the bigger gift when the baby arrives and just bring a small toy or trinket if I actually meet the baby after it is born.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reply with a cheery note and *don't send anything*. They'll wonder whether you forgot to contribute and won't dare to bother you again.

This is the answer. This lady is socially savvy.

+2

Decline and say "Sorry I won't be able to join in. I'll pop a gift in the mail to Baby/bring my gift over when Baby arrives but thanks for checking!"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't you have an important in person event at the same time as the virtual one, OP?

There’s not even a virtual component. It’s not like “be on Zoom at 4 p.m. on Saturday.” It’s just a group gift request.

I would have no problem contributing to a gift for a second baby. But i would be annoyed at the trick of making it sound like an invite for a shower. Whether that would be enough for me to not contribute would depend on the level of friendship involved. Are the people running it usually good friends and this was a mis-step?

I hate virtual events. I would not mind this for a first baby but I would not be interested for a virtual. Maybe it was 2020 and we were all sitting home.

I would just get baby a gift next time I see them. If I don’t know them well enough to visit the baby, I don’t need to send a gift.

My very good friend just had a second baby. She invited me very casually to a sprinkle brunch. I live out of state or else I would absolutely have loved to attend. It was not a formal invitation, no registry, etc. I will bring a gift the next time I see her.

People actually flat out ask for money from others? Besides the obvious homeless. Wow.

Is it the couple requesting, or a friend? Could easily just be someone trying to do something nice, thinking you might want to participate. If it came from the couple, a little weird.

Anonymous wrote:Don't you have an important in person event at the same time as the virtual one, OP?

There’s not even a virtual component. It’s not like “be on Zoom at 4 p.m. on Saturday.” It’s just a group gift request.

Don't you have an important in person event at the same time as the virtual one, OP?

Anonymous wrote:Reply with a cheery note and *don't send anything*. They'll wonder whether you forgot to contribute and won't dare to bother you again.

This is the answer. This lady is socially savvy.

Reply with a cheery note and *don't send anything*. They'll wonder whether you forgot to contribute and won't dare to bother you again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The person obviously made a huge mistake inviting you because let's be honest... you sound like a miserable person.

I gave a very generous first baby gift to this couple. And if they were having an actual event for this “sprinkle,” I would attend and give a modest gift, or send regrets with a modest gift if I couldn’t make this. But stuff like this is not “let’s gather and celebrate New Baby,” it is: give us gifts.

So don't. The pressure you feel to give is entirely self-inflicted.

OP did not invent the party and invite herself.