I was 20 when I had my first child, 33 when I had my sixth. I am now 50, and my youngest will be 17 next week. Raising kids is a full-time job for 18 yrs, and you get to retire a little more after each one is an adult. When they're all adults, you can do whatever you want, whenever you want.

Anonymous wrote:Dh and I had the BEST time before kids. We lived in Chicago and used to run along the lakefront path, send Saturday mornings reading books on the beach, trying different coffee shops, getting lost browsing books in used book stores, meeting friends for drinks on a whim, seeing live music, booking random airbnbs, Sunday morning sex and rolling out of bed half clothed for coffee and bagels

This was us too!
Night and day compared to weekends juggling the logistics of child baseball practices.

I don’t remember yesterday or where I put the thermometer I used on one sick kid ten minutes ago.

I was just thinking today that maybe I’d enjoy being a mom more if I hadn’t had my carefree 20s. I adored kids when I was growing up. I was a babysitter, camp counselor and after school nanny. I was the most fun babysitter and they’d all request me. Now all I seem to do is dream about sleeping in and wonder why I can’t play with my kids and am not the mom I dreamed I’d be.

Anonymous wrote:I remember. Every minute of every day I remember. For some reason I’m having a hard time enjoying being a parent of a 7 and 9 year old. People say these are supposed to be the sweet years. I liked the baby and toddler phases better. I hate being a parent currently.

Me too. I think more than I hate being a mom, I hate being a mom of two. I wish we had stopped at one, or zero. To think I used to be jealous of friends who had babies.

We were married for over four years before we had children. We were very career focused, ate out a lot, hung with our friends and it was a wonderful life. We are now empty nesters and doing the same things as we did before except not staying up as late. But I loved all the child rearing years despite the craziness.

Anonymous wrote:Dh and I had the BEST time before kids. We lived in Chicago and used to run along the lakefront path, send Saturday mornings reading books on the beach, trying different coffee shops, getting lost browsing books in used book stores, meeting friends for drinks on a whim, seeing live music, booking random airbnbs, Sunday morning sex and rolling out of bed half clothed for coffee and bagels

DH and I had the best time too, we visited Disney World a bunch of times and ran around like kids. We didn't have a sense of anything, just having fun and spending the time together. We would eat out all the time, do whatever we really wanted. Traveled a bit, rode our bikes everywhere, weekend trips for fun any and everywhere. There did reach a point where I was really ready to settle down more and buy a house, have children, etc... But BOY I had no idea the change that would have!! Now I'm stuck in a beautuiful house with children and a DH I adore and love. I feel trapped in a prison of love and overwhelmed with the constant logistical scheduling nightmares of holidays, travel, back to school, everything!!

Anonymous wrote:I sincerely cannot remember what I used to do before I had kids every night and on weekends. And my oldest is only 7! I was thinking about this because our dog is getting old and I was trying to remember when he was a puppy and what we would do with him in the mornings and evenings. We got him about 3 years before we had kids and were living in DC in an apartment.

Now mornings and evenings are rushed with getting the kids ready for school, feeding them, rushing out the door. Then getting home and getting them fed, bathed, to bed at a reasonable time. Sprinkle in sports, homework, playing, etc.

Ahhh the freedom of doing nothing before we had kids - I think we took it for granted!

DH and I had 10 years before kids so we remember. The part I feel that has really changed is the emotional life is wayyyy more vibrant now. Not that I was dead inside but having kids brings you to the edges of sanity good and bad.

Dh and I had the BEST time before kids. We lived in Chicago and used to run along the lakefront path, send Saturday mornings reading books on the beach, trying different coffee shops, getting lost browsing books in used book stores, meeting friends for drinks on a whim, seeing live music, booking random airbnbs, Sunday morning sex and rolling out of bed half clothed for coffee and bagels

Yes. I miss it (I'm in the thick of super-dependent little kid years). But life now is similar, I just wake up earlier. I only have one kid so it's relatively simple to not let my life revolve around parenthood. Freedom and fun are still available, they just have a much higher marginal cost now.

Yes… mmmm… quiet.
Less joy, but man, the sound of silence!

So so much. Kids are 8 and 13. I had a big, whole life before kids and I look at this period as an interruption of sorts and then I can get back to my old ways (I expect) when I'm an empty nester. That doesn't mean I regret having kids, just that I was very good as a single and then DINK and I had a lot of pursuits that are squeezed out now.