Anonymous wrote:I’d tell your parents that you are going to transfer to a less prestigious school because you don’t want to take out loans. If they don’t get bragging rights anymore, they might change their mind about funding the Ivy.

This.

Make sure you understand the longterm financial implications of $80 of debt at graduation (or however much debt you will have). I was a high debt student borrower. After making the minimum payments for 12 years, I had paid off $2,000 of principal. If you are borrowing privately, you won't have the protections provided by federal student loan programs. You will not be able to discharge your loans in bankruptcy. So you are really locking yourself into one path.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please do not take on 80k for your misery just to appease your parents. Do you currently have access to counseling services through your school? Even a few sessions might be able to help you make a plan to move forward. Do you have any friends or other contacts who you might be able to talk to about your situation?

I work in college access. If you were one of my students, I would encourage you to at least take a leave for a semester so you can figure out what you want to do. Don't take out these loans under pressure. Get a place with roommates, get a regular people job, start exploring your options. Check out your state school options. You really don't want to get locked into a situation where you have to work at a job you hate and in which you feel like a failure just to pay loans that you didn't want to take in the first place!

I hate to tell you, as a state school graduate, not only I have to work a job that I hate, for subsequent job hops, I can only be considered for jobs similar to what I have done before.
Such rule do not apply to Ivy kids, hate finance? they run to endowment investor relations. Hate accounting? they do business dev with wealth management firms. Hate their hedge fun job? Some lobbyist firm will take them right in.
The competition is cut throat for us for life. and people are more brutal. If you are ivy, your managers don't want to steamroll you because they expect you to be high up in another organization later on. They will take out their anger on us instead.

As an ivy league graduate, this is true for rich kids with broad family connections who use those connections to get hired, and possibly using family money to subsudize their incomes. If that's not the world you're from, and you're not actively networking to build relationships in those communities, this will not be your experience. And even if you are working to build those connections, it still might not be your experience.

Anonymous wrote:In general, I’d say that the debt would be worth it —but not for you. The environment doesn’t sound like it was either healthy or pleasant for you.

In your place, I’d talk with the school about options — just so you know what they are. Can you get an extended leave of absence if you want to? What would it take to get readmitted in 5 years — should you wish to do so? Then, knowing that, make some plans for now.

Consider looking for a job. This will give you your own income, and the options that come with it — including changing your living situation should you wish to do so. It would also be a step in establishing yourself as financially independent — so future financial aid can look at your income — not that household income of your parents. Check with your school’s financial aid office to get a sense of what you need to do to establish financial independence, should you wish to do so.

Your plan to consider 7 sister schools sounds like a good one for you.

tldr: Don’t go into debt for an environment that you despise.

I’m sending good thoughts your way, OP.

I went to an Ivy, and yes it can help open doors - especially early in your career. But I have plenty of friends that went to non-Ivies that do just as well (or better) than me in terms of salary and career. If you loved or at least liked your school I would say it could be worth it, but it sounds like the school makes you miserable. I would say with many jobs it's the relationships and networks (who you know, not what you know) that have a big impact. And, you can develop a strong network at almost any (reputable) school. And, now you also have a FAANG internship on your resume. Go to a more affordable, less cut throat school (possibly a state school) that won't make you miserable. If you had the credentials and work ethic to get into an Ivy, you can likely distinguish yourself at a less "competitive" university. Based on my experience hiring, having relevant and "impressive" internships or work experience on your resume was really the deciding factor (if the person wasn't coming "recommended" from a colleague or someone in a leadership position). Not going to an Ivy does not mean that you don't have a bright future ahead of you. Going to a school that makes you suicidal - not so much.

Anonymous wrote:Please do not take on 80k for your misery just to appease your parents. Do you currently have access to counseling services through your school? Even a few sessions might be able to help you make a plan to move forward. Do you have any friends or other contacts who you might be able to talk to about your situation?

I work in college access. If you were one of my students, I would encourage you to at least take a leave for a semester so you can figure out what you want to do. Don't take out these loans under pressure. Get a place with roommates, get a regular people job, start exploring your options. Check out your state school options. You really don't want to get locked into a situation where you have to work at a job you hate and in which you feel like a failure just to pay loans that you didn't want to take in the first place!

+1

Have you talked to your school about the repercussions of being cut off by your parents, and how it would impact your aid if you're on your own and can't pay? You can take advantage of opportunities anywhere and there's no use putting yourself in debt yourself for a place that makes you suicidal. Perhaps you can take a semester or two off to intern in career areas you think are cool; your school should have funding to cover rent/food if those internships are unpaid.

Anonymous wrote:Please do not take on 80k for your misery just to appease your parents. Do you currently have access to counseling services through your school? Even a few sessions might be able to help you make a plan to move forward. Do you have any friends or other contacts who you might be able to talk to about your situation?

I work in college access. If you were one of my students, I would encourage you to at least take a leave for a semester so you can figure out what you want to do. Don't take out these loans under pressure. Get a place with roommates, get a regular people job, start exploring your options. Check out your state school options. You really don't want to get locked into a situation where you have to work at a job you hate and in which you feel like a failure just to pay loans that you didn't want to take in the first place!

I hate to tell you, as a state school graduate, not only I have to work a job that I hate, for subsequent job hops, I can only be considered for jobs similar to what I have done before.
Such rule do not apply to Ivy kids, hate finance? they run to endowment investor relations. Hate accounting? they do business dev with wealth management firms. Hate their hedge fun job? Some lobbyist firm will take them right in.
The competition is cut throat for us for life. and people are more brutal. If you are ivy, your managers don't want to steamroll you because they expect you to be high up in another organization later on. They will take out their anger on us instead.

Please do not take on 80k for your misery just to appease your parents. Do you currently have access to counseling services through your school? Even a few sessions might be able to help you make a plan to move forward. Do you have any friends or other contacts who you might be able to talk to about your situation?

I work in college access. If you were one of my students, I would encourage you to at least take a leave for a semester so you can figure out what you want to do. Don't take out these loans under pressure. Get a place with roommates, get a regular people job, start exploring your options. Check out your state school options. You really don't want to get locked into a situation where you have to work at a job you hate and in which you feel like a failure just to pay loans that you didn't want to take in the first place!

Have you tried callig the school to try to negotiate? You’re clearly smart and articulate so perhaps there’s a scholarship the could offer to offset some of the additional unexpected debt?

Whatever you do, I wish you well! My parents were similar and you are NOT a failure just because your strengths aren’t what they’d wish. And just reading your posts, I can see you are a thoughtful person and a great writer!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any school that’s supportive and nurturing will cost just as much, with less career possibilities.
Any school that’s going to be cheaper, likely state school, will not give you the same kind of access to jobs after school. In many ways, life in your 20-35 will be just as cut throat and misery will last longer than your current situation.
If I were you, I’d take out the loan, find the easier major in your current Ivy, and get the bare minimal grade to get that degree. Then you can find an easy job and start your life. If you hate your job, who doesn’t hate their first 3-5 jobs? You hop and doors remain open if you have that degree.

+1 The warm cozy environment that OP wants sounds like a very expensive SLAC. State schools are going to be more impersonal than any ivy league school

+2. OP, unfortunately, the positive seven sisters' environment will cost just as much money (and I really really doubt anyone's giving you a scholarship at this point), and will open fewer doors for you. Suck it up and get through the degree. I think you'll probably have it even worse if you transfer.

Anonymous wrote:Any school that’s supportive and nurturing will cost just as much, with less career possibilities.
Any school that’s going to be cheaper, likely state school, will not give you the same kind of access to jobs after school. In many ways, life in your 20-35 will be just as cut throat and misery will last longer than your current situation.
If I were you, I’d take out the loan, find the easier major in your current Ivy, and get the bare minimal grade to get that degree. Then you can find an easy job and start your life. If you hate your job, who doesn’t hate their first 3-5 jobs? You hop and doors remain open if you have that degree.

+1 The warm cozy environment that OP wants sounds like a very expensive SLAC. State schools are going to be more impersonal than any ivy league school

Anonymous wrote:Didn't most Ivies just pronounce they will no longer accept Plus loans?

They all admit a ton of students who need those loans to attend. Not everyone save in anticipation of an 80k cost of attendance and aid doesn't make up the whole difference

Finish it out OP. 80k won’t mean very much in 10 years. You’re clearly qualified enough to get a job at a big tech firm — meaning your earning potential will outstrip that 80k very soon. Part of that earning potential could very well depend on that Ivy degree. I’ve found job interviews significantly easier with a degree on my resume.

Your bigger issue is your misery, but 3 semesters is not very long in the grand scheme of things. Please try to take classes that you want to take (art, literature, film — whatever calls to you!). If your parents are no longer paying, that should alleviate guilt about taking what you want at school and doing what you want to do. After school, try to pay off those loans as soon as you can. A boring job is not the end of the work. A boring job can enable you to do things you enjoy doing outside of work. Focus on the happy in your life, and best of luck.

I’d tell your parents that you are going to transfer to a less prestigious school because you don’t want to take out loans. If they don’t get bragging rights anymore, they might change their mind about funding the Ivy.

Any school that’s supportive and nurturing will cost just as much, with less career possibilities.
Any school that’s going to be cheaper, likely state school, will not give you the same kind of access to jobs after school. In many ways, life in your 20-35 will be just as cut throat and misery will last longer than your current situation.
If I were you, I’d take out the loan, find the easier major in your current Ivy, and get the bare minimal grade to get that degree. Then you can find an easy job and start your life. If you hate your job, who doesn’t hate their first 3-5 jobs? You hop and doors remain open if you have that degree.

Anonymous wrote:You're asking the wrong question.

"$80k in Debt Worth It for Misery?"

No.

But it sounds like she's miserable even without the debt. At least going back to school will generate a degree. There are SO many jobs out there. I was a humanities major and hustled myself into my dream job. Took me about 5 years to figure out what I wanted to do and then I got into my current field.